In an effort to remain positive on the down hill slope towards Spring Break, I thought I'd share a funny from school today.
Girl: Hey, I figured out what PE means.
Boy: What?
Girl: Practice Exercising
And, there you have it!
A few nights ago I found myself contemplating different levels of patience. I find that my patience varies throughout the day depending on the situation and the individual requiring the gift of patience. You know what I've realized? I get less annoyed with people I expect don't know any better. For example, I am usually (not always, but usually) much more patient with my students with special needs, then with my students I expect to know better. Whether or not this is fair or warranted is not the point of this post. My point is this:
What if God handled patience the same way I do? Losing patience because I should know better? Where would I be then?
For some strange reason last night I found myself contemplating mid-life crises. Weird, I know...considering I am just 26. But, I think I have a theory. Now, keep in mind, I have absolutely nothing to back this up; but that is why it's called a theory.
I think my generation is going through the "quarter-life" crisis, if you will, instead of the mid-life crisis. Here's my reasoning: The stereotypical mid-life crisis comes to an individual who married young and quickly had a family. When that individual reaches mid-life, they suddenly find themselves in a crisis of, "Who am I outside of my family? What are my individual gifts/talents?" However, my generation is experiencing more time between the educational years and the family years. I believe we find ourselves in our mid-late 20s realizing that so far life is not how we pictured it; and, although life is good, is life what we really want it to be? Taking that into consideration, I find myself wondering if this means the mid-life crisis will pass us by because we did it in our 20s. Who knows? Like I said, it's only a theory.
I am in a little bit of a funk this weekend. Mostly I'm fighting off a cold, but the down time has led to a little bit of emotional blah. So, I decided to reflect upon things I love because I hate funks.
I love my puppy. She is almost 11 months old; fun to play with; and very cuddly these days. She also very in tune to my mood and gets cuddlier when I'm sick or in a funk. :)
I love playing games. Friday night I went to a friend's 30th birthday party. It was an absolute blast! We laughed until I knew my abs had gotten a workout! Then we played Texas Hold 'Em and laughed some more. I love conversation and games with good friends. It was a wonderful Friday night.
I love to sing. I've been asked before about what makes me feel the most fulfilled. Aside from rocking a baby, I honestly believe it is when I am singing. Singing brings out the most honest part deep inside of me. It is how I can really express my inner self. I pray I always have opportunities to sing with others, and that I never stop singing when I am alone!
I love volunteering at Children's Hospital. I just started spending every other Saturday morning at the hospital spending time with kids one on one in their rooms. So far it has been play time with toddlers and rocking time with sweet infants. Oh, what a blessing! It has been wonderful and sad and fulfilling and heart-breaking all at the same time. I wouldn't trade this experience for the world.
I love a good book. When I'm in a funk, books help me take charge of my thoughts and move them to other things when I just can't seem to stop my "stinkin' thinkin'" (as my dad would say).
I love the women's Bible study I have just started attending. Recently I got plugged in with a single women's Bible study through Prestonwood Baptist. What a blessing! It is so uplifting and so real! I've been longing for something like this, and the Lord opened the doors and led me through.
I love my Lord. These last two and a half years have brought me more ups and downs than I realized would be possible in my mid-20s. But, through it all only One has remained constantly Faithful. Without Him, I would be completely lost right now. With Him, I find the strength to continue down the path He is leading me, even though I see only Him and not the path in front of Him. He is blessing me every day, and unfortunately I all too often focus on the yucky way it can sometimes feel instead of the blessing of Him.
In my blog entitled, "2008-A Fresh Start," I confessed my need to learn to let go of my dreams and just let the Lord lead me. With all of that in mind, I started Beth Moore's Bible study Breaking Free. I am two weeks into the study and feel that my heart and mind are being opened to what I am missing. I am realizing how little I have let myself find satisfaction and fulfillment simply in my relationship with Christ. I can tell 2008 is going to be quite a journey. The following verses really struck deep into my soul today as I was spending some time in study. I wanted to share them with you and ask that you join me in praying for an open heart and mind towards all the lessons the Lord has for me to learn!
I realized when I sat down to make this post that I am going out of order. I blogged a few days ago about a fresh start to 2008. Today I downloaded some pictures on my computer and wanted to share them with you. These are pictures of my sweet Rori from Christmas at my grandmother's house in Corpus Christi. She's getting so big. Rori is almost 10 months old, and is really becoming a wonderful dog. She plays so well by herself, and she is learning to be quite the cuddle bug. I love being a dog owner!!! So, here's some pics of my mischievous little girl on her first Christmas.
Saturday evening I returned home after a wonderful Christmas week in Corpus Christi with my family. The drive had been long but uneventful. I went about the task of unpacking, putting away Christmas gifts from my family and my students (which I had not done before leaving on vacation), and just overall tidying up my disheveled apartment. I fell into bed exhausted but unable to sleep. Without really forming conscious thoughts I began to let my heart pray. In that time, the Lord revealed something to me as this thought crossed my mind, "You are too focused on the waiting; you are forgetting to live."
So, now here I sit several days later just now getting around to blogging about this epiphany because I've been dreading putting it into writing. In 2007, I was blessed to fall more deeply in love with my Savior than I realized was possible. I also learned to make peace with "waiting" at this time in my life without feeling the need to rush my dreams into existence. What I didn't realize is that I took that peace too far and just let myself "be" in waiting.
Some of my readers may be thinking, "Kristi, you've said things similar to this along the way; why is it just now sinking in?" I don't know, but praise the Lord He is patient with me! He's probably going to have to continue to remind me all throughout 2008 to just keep living and stop being concerned about waiting.
And, like I said, I've dreaded writing this down. Because, honestly, I'm scared. I'm scared and lonely and a little disillusioned about the church being my family. A few things have happened in the last several weeks that have made reality out of the idea that our culture and the church are designed around couples and families. Having said that, I know that God's grace covers all of this and He will provide healing from the disillusionment.
It's also scary to finally admit I just need to let go of my dreams and see what God is dreaming up for me right now. Yes, maybe I should say that one more time. In 2008, I am going to let go of my dreams and see what dreams God has for me.
Last night I was at some friends' house for a New Year's Eve dinner. Because of the number of young children among us we toasted in the New Year early and went our separate ways. At 8:30, we joined in a circle and each mentioned blessings, dreams, or wishes for the New Year. With all of the previously discussed thoughts in mind, I lifted my glass and said, "To all things unimaginable." The verse at the end of this blog is going to be my "theme" for 2008. I am going to meditate on and pray through this verse throughout the year knowing that God's plans for me are unimaginable. Because if I am just waiting instead of living, then the unimaginable may pass me by.
May 2008 be full of all things unimaginable for you and your loved ones! I pray God's richest blessings in your lives.
