Merry Christmas Time is Here!

Cold, snow, hot chocolate, spicey candles, evergreen trees, blue, silver, red, green, wrapping paper, warm blankets, sparkly lights, festive music, cozy fires. These things and many, many more bring this holiday season alive for me!

I have been extremely reflective pretty much since Thanksgiving. The Lord is doing some amazing things for Taylor and me these last few weeks. We are watching with wide-eyed, open-eared anticipation as God moves around and among us opening doors for our future that are beyond our wildest imaginations. As of yet, we know not what 2010 will bring for us, but we do believe it will be big and directly in the will of the Lord. We pray daily for His guidance and that we will simply be obedient, mission-minded followers of His word joyfully going wherever He next sends us. It is completely fulfilling to find ourselves this anticipatory while completely at peace knowing He is working around us in ways we cannot see but faithfully trust!

With these thoughts, anticipations, and joyful unknowns treasured deep inside me, I have entered this holiday season full of so much joy, peace, contentment, and celebration! In just 10 days, Taylor and I will be celebrating our 1st anniversary! What an amazing year this has been! We have each learned so much about each other and marriage. I find myself overcome with moments of pure amazement at how my Heavenly Prince Charming overflowed my cup of imagination when it came to my earthly prince charming! I could not ask to be married to a better man. Taylor is such a Godly man! I love watching him as he wrestles with what it means to be a Godly man, husband, and servant of the Lord. He has grown so much in the year and a half that I've known him! I cannot wait to see what the rest of our life holds!

Taylor and I have made wonderful celebration plans. We are spending next Saturday and Sunday at the Gaylord Texan Hotel here in the Dallas area. We thought it would be somewhat reminiscent of our honeymoon since we stayed at the Gaylord Opryland! :) We are very much looking forward to our weekend away just the two of us! Early Monday morning the 21st, we will be leaving to head to Albuquerque to spend Christmas with my parents and grandmother! We will get to spend a week there enjoying the company and relaxation of Christmas vacation! We are praying for a white Christmas near the mountains, but also praying it holds off til we get through the mountain pass on I40 into ABQ! :)

I'm not sure if I will blog again until the New Year. I am planning on losing myself in the celebration and time with family that this season brings so joyfully! I pray that the Lord blesses each of you with joy beyond your imaginations as you celebrate Jesus Christ and His love!

Merry Christmas!

Providence, Destiny, and Gratitude

I am studying Esther. The Queen who basically won a beauty contest in order to move out of the harem and into the queen's quarters. Only to find herself in the midst of a pending holocaust with the responsibility to stop it lying squarely on her shoulders. I am journeying through Esther verse by verse over a 9-10 week period. I'm on week 4 at the moment, and have studied much about God's timing, His providence, and His destiny for me. On the way to school this morning, this song came through my CD player; and I realized how fitting it was to my current study. I wanted to share the lyrics with you. May God's blessings be upon you!

Gratitude
Nichole Nordeman

"Send some rain, would you send some rain
Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade.
Would you send a cloud, thunder long and loud
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely you can see that we are thirsty and afraid.
But maybe not, not today
Maybe you provide in other ways
And if that's the case

We'll give thanks to you with gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for you
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If you never send us rain.

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups and fill them up again tonight
Oh, wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe you provide in other ways
And if that's the case

We'll give thanks to you, with gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after you
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is over our head
And if we never taste that bread.

Oh that differences that often are between
Everything we want and what we really need

So, grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case

We'll give thanks to you with gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in you
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
If you never grant us peace

But, Jesus, would you please?"

Balance

One of the things I seem to be in a constant search of in life is balance. How do I balance personal time with God, work, time with friends, time spent at church, time with my fiance? How do I give quality energy and focus to each area of life so that I can better maintain a healthy, energized lifestyle? And, for those of you who understand that struggle, isn't it funny how right when you think you might be getting there something changes that throws a wrench in your whole search for balance?

Well, I was reflecting on this yesterday, and realizing that one area of my life has finally come down to being much more manageable. That area? Work! As most of you know, I have set out on an adventure this year as a dyslexia therapist, and I am LOVING it! Since the end of July when my training began there have been moments of absolute craziness, but now that the routine of school is in full swing I cannot tell you how deep I can breathe now. I feel fulfilled at work these days instead of drained. I feel purposeful instead of like I'm grasping at straws. I can leave work at a very reasonable hour, and have plenty of energy to spend time doing other things such as working out, running errands, Bible study, and spending time with Taylor. I can cook for Taylor and I without feeling like I will fall over from the exertion of standing in the kitchen. All of this to say-work does not have control over the way I feel for the rest of the areas of my life anymore! It is the most refreshing feeling. It's amazing how when one overwhelming area of life becomes less overwhelming, you start realizing that maybe you can achieve balance after all. Now, in no way, am I the know-it-all of balancing life...I am simply reflecting on a little more balance my life has been feeling in the past few weeks.

God is so good, and I am so grateful that I have this job. I look forward to a long future of working with dyslexic children even now while in the district and in the future with private therapy.

God bless you as you journey towards balancing all areas of your life. The key: Keep God at the center, and He will guide all else!

The Lord's Provision

I posted a while back that Taylor and I were patiently waiting for God to provide him with a job. I realized this past weekend that I never came back and updated the final outcome of that situation. So, let me go back and tell you a little story.

The last week of July found Taylor, yet again, as the #2 guy for an incredible assistant band director position. We were hurt and scared about the possibility of him not getting a job. Taylor began exploring his options of putting himself out there as a private lessons teacher for the school year. We were not sure how we would make ends meet once we got married, but we were praying fervently that God would provide the students.

On Friday, July 31st Taylor came over to pick me up for a date. He walked in the door excited because he had been called (at 6:00 on a Friday night!) to interview for a position as a percussion director. There was a "bad news" side to this exciting announcement. The position was not with the school district. It would be hired by the band at a much lower salary than a district employee. However, it was a guaranteed pay check for 12 months unlike searching for private lessons students. In addition, he would corner the market on private lessons for the high school and its two feeder middle schools and be able to charge for those as well. We were very excited at this unusual, unexpected, but hugely welcome surprise. The next morning (a Saturday) Taylor drove to North Richland Hills to interview at Birdville HS. The interview went extremely well, and we were back to praying that this would work out. Sunday afternoon at 12:15, the director called to offer him the job! He was to begin work at 7:00am the next morning. We went from scared and frustrated to overjoyed and in awe of God's work in a matter of 4 days!

We were ecstatic!!!! We had prayed and prayed for the best fit for him. The way that it came was not at all how we pictured it, but it was a huge blessing! Taylor is doing very well. He loves it, and the kids have really taken to him. We do not know what next year holds...it is really not ideal for Taylor to stay in a position that is not with a district. But, for now, we are thanking the Lord for His provision and praying about what He might have in store for us next year.

Thank you to all of you who have been praying for us! The Lord is good and faithful! We will continue to trust Him with our future!

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."
Matthew 6:34 The Message

Three Swings and a Ring

I'M ENGAGED!!! I feel like shouting from every mountaintop and dancing in the streets like King David (although I'd opt to wear clothes!)

I knew this was coming soon. Taylor and I have had a wedding date set for a couple months now. We've already started planning the wedding, it was just a waiting game until he proposed. I had decided I was pretty sure he was going to do it next Monday the 16th which would be 3 months from the day we met. We came to Searcy, AR on Wednesday to see my grandparents, visit with friends, and so I could introduce Taylor to Harding since it has been such a special place in my heart. Yesterday morning we had a plan to meet one of his friends in front of one of the women's dorms to say hi and set up a time to get together later in the weekend. We got to Patti Cobb Hall, and there was no sign of Brandon. Taylor spotted a Harding swing that was vacant. Now for those of you that don't know the significance of the Harding swing-let me fill you in. There are beautiful white swings all over campus that are very much a trademark of the university. During the fall and spring semesters, it is very difficult to find an open swing. Students sit and visit or study on them all the time. But...they are most known for their romantic attraction. A common saying at Harding is "Three swings and a ring" meaning that if you are caught swinging with the same guy three times, then you must be bound for marriage. So, back to my story--we head over to the swing and sit down. I am very excited to be sitting in a swing with Taylor, but anxious to meet his friend and head to the education building to see some friends and professors. Taylor leaned over to put down the bag he is carrying, and then looked up and tells me that he loves me. He had a very intense look in his eyes, so I asked him if he was okay. Next thing I knew he was down on one knee in front of the swing. Unfortunately for Taylor, the words that came out of my mouth at that exact moment were, "No way!" I was shocked that he was about to propose to me considering I was fully expecting it next week! I put down my drink, took off my sunglasses, and tried very hard to pay attention. I was already giggling at this point and so excited to be experiencing this moment at long last! Taylor said some sweet things to me, most of which I cannot remember due to the giggling and excitement. However, I do remember him talking about how God brought us together 3 months ago, and how he had planned for this moment to happen right here in this place because Harding had meant so much to me and been such a huge player in my growth as a woman, Christian, and student. He picked up a ring box, popped the top open and said, "Kristi, will you marry me?" I barely got the word "yes" out before I had given him a hug and a kiss. He told me to turn around and wave. The friend we were supposed to be meeting was standing there with a video camera capturing the entire thing. We stood up and hugged, then he told me to turn around the other way. I did, and I saw my parents walking towards us. Taylor had invited them to come along and take pictures of the moment and share in the celebration with us afterwards. We spent the next 30+ minutes calling everyone we could think of, before we started running around campus so that I could introduce my fiance to everyone I could find to talk to. The moment was so special to me. I'm not even sure if I would have realized how special it would be to me if someone had asked me about it beforehand. It was perfect. It was simple, it was sweet and romantic, and it was us! The weekend has been incredible and I've loved every minute of it. We are both exhausted from all the excitement and emotions surrounding this event, but we are floating on Cloud 9!

This man the Lord has given me is amazing. He is all I could have dreamed about and more! In 6 months and 7 days I will be pledging my life to him. We are soul mates, best friends, confidants, and help mates. Life with him is going to be an adventure, and I am so excited to take the ride. I am so blessed, and I pray every day that I never take for granted the gift that he is in my life!

So, for the questions that might be out there: Yes, there are pictures of the ring forthcoming. It's a round 1 carat solitaire on a white gold band! It's absolutely gorgeous! And...the wedding is December 20th in Dallas. YEA!!! This is so much fun! Keep checking the blog for all of our engagement/wedding adventures that will be happening in the next several months!

"Many waters cannot quench love."
Song of Solomon 8:7

A Selfless Witness

Webster defines "selfless" as "having no regard to self; unselfish." "Witness" is defined as "one who gives evidence regarding matters of fact under inquiry." Therefore, could it be said that A Selfless Witness is "one who gives evidence regarding matters of fact while having no regard to self"? And, if that is the case, what does it mean to be a selfless witness for Christ?

A friend and fellow sister-in-Christ confronted me today concerning some ways that my attitude in recent months had hurt her feelings. Throughout the course of our conversation I found myself realizing that no matter what my "excuses" were or how big or small I might perceive the offending issues two things remained true:
1) Her feelings were real and they were hurt. For that I was sorry.
2) The Lord was using her to show to me the extent to which my attitude in the last several months has become increasingly selfish therefore leading me to become less of a witness to Christ in my workplace. For that I was hurt because I should have known better.

Even as I process and pray through the things I have realized about myself today, my selfish nature wants to argue with me. The selfish part of me is giving me all of the reasons why I was justified in my bad attitude and actions. The selfish part of me is reminding me that I didn't realize I was being selfish at the time, so how could I be held accountable to it? The selfish part of me wants to make sure that I feel okay at the end of the day.

But, I know better. I know that Christ disciplines those He loves so that He can make us more like himself. I know that even "small" things in our book are important things to him. He tells us to "Love our neighbor as ourselves" and that does not mean only when we're not tired or overwhelmed or frustrated. It means always! See, Christ was hurt and mocked and treated badly, and he did not lash out. He didn't lash out at those who hurt him, and he didn't lash out at those that did not hurt him just because they were close by. He loved them. Fully and perfectly. No, I'm not perfect, but I am being transformed daily into the image of Christ. I pray my experience today will serve as a reminder that I still have things to work on. I need to open my eyes a little wider, and turn my ears up a little higher...and pay attention. There are those that Christ is trying to love on through me, and I don't want to miss it! Maybe then I'll be a little closer to being A Selfless Witness!

"When they hurled insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. INSTEAD, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and LIVE FOR RIGHTEOUSNESS; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls."
1 Peter 2:23-25

"Love your neighbor as yourself."
Leviticus 19:18

So Blessed!

I am loved by three men.

The first to love me cannot be seen.

He calls me His child, and He saved me from a life of sin and death.

I call the second one Daddy.

He provided for me as he taught me about the providence of the One who first loved me.

The third man that loves me is a gift from the first and a blessing to the second.

He will soon get to be the earthly provider and the son the second one never had.

My First Love has so graciously given me these two men on earth who have and will provide for and protect me.

My First Love has richly shown me His unfailing love through the love of these two here on earth.

I could not be more blessed to have been shown the love of my Heavenly Father through the love of my earthly father and my earthly prince.

I am loved by three men.

The First gave me the second and the third.

Oh, what rich love!

The Daily-ness of God

While working on Beth Moore's Breaking Free Bible study tonight, I came across the following story that she penned as a reflection. It really struck a chord with me, so I thought that I would share it with you. (Side note: it starts off sounding very much like the Footprints in the Sand poem, but it's different, so stick with it!)

"Imagine going to heaven and standing by God as He lovingly shows you the calendar of His plan for your earthly life. It begins with the day you are born. Once you received Christ as Savior, every day that follows is outlined in red. You see footprints walking through each day of each week of your life. On many of the days, two sets of footprints appear. You inquire: 'Father, are those my footprints on the calendar every day and is the second set of prints when you joined me?'
He answers, 'No, My precious Child. The consistent footprints on your calendar are Mine. The second set of footprints are when you joined Me.'
'Where are You going, Father?'
'To the destiny I planned for you, hoping you'd follow.'
'But, Father, where are my footprints all those times?'
He answers, 'Sometimes you went back to look at old resentments and habits while I was still going forward, hoping you'd join Me. Sometimes, you departed from My path and chose your own calendar instead. Other times, your footprints can even be seen on another person's calendar because you thought you liked their plan better. At other times, you simply stopped because you would not let go of something you could not take to the next day.'
'But, Father, we ended up OK even if I didn't walk with You every day, didn't we?'
He holds you close and smiles, 'Yes, Child, we ended up OK. But, you see, OK was never what I had in mind for you.'
'Father, what are those golden treasure boxes on certain days?'
'Blessings, My child, I had for you along the way. Those that are open are those you received. Those still closed were days you did not walk with Me.'"

As I get older, I long for more daily-ness in my walk with God-especially in the mundane. This story was so sweet to me and reinforced to me how much I really do long to walk each minute of each day along the calendar that God has in place for me. Just being with Him in His daily presence is enough blessing for me!

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him."
2 Corinthians 2:14

There is No Other

Wow! It's so amazing and awesome what God can do in a period of three weeks. These last three and a half weeks have been transforming in my life. God has just continued to show me over and over that His way and His timing are best and that all things work together for good. Obviously, as I have blogged about recently, Taylor is a HUGE blessing in my life. Our relationship is incredible, and what we see God doing in us as individuals and as a couple continues to blow us away on a daily basis. In addition to this change in my life, I have been praying about taking my career in a different direction. I have been burned out this year, and I have always known I wanted to someday find myself working in a more specialized area. I found out on Tuesday that I have been accepted through my district to be a dyslexia therapist next year! I am so incredibly excited! Like I said, it's amazing and awesome what God can do in a period of three weeks! I was reading tonight about God's right to rule and I came across this verse: "I am the LORD, and there is no other; apart from me there is no God." He has been in control the entire time, and He's always known that these last three weeks would come to be. He simply asked me to be patient, walk by His side, and learn about Him a little more so that I could be ready for this time of my life.

On a different note, I really wanted to share a school story from today. We had major, major storms in the area last night that caused a lot of damage in the neighborhoods around my school. The kids came in today fired up and ready to share their stories of missing trampolines and toppled trees. But, my favorite story of all was from a little boy in another 1st grade classroom. Here's how it went:

Boy: "Miss Roof, a subtraction problem happened in my backyard this morning."
Roof: "Oh no, what happened?"
Boy: "I have 4 chairs. 1 blew into the alley. 1 blew into the pool. And 1 blew into the spa. How many chairs are left?"

I guess we're teaching them something, huh? He came to my class today and shared that with my kids, so that we could use his real-life problem as our problem solving for today. It was fantastic! Happy subtracting!

"I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me."
Isaiah 46:9

Becoming like my Savior

I am realizing that my relationship with Taylor pushes me to spend more time with Christ. This is happening for a myriad of reasons, but the one that strikes closest at the moment is as follows: I am becoming more aware that the consequences of not seeking maturity impact not only myself. Now, that has always been the case, but it suddenly seems more tangible. It's like I've tried to convince myself that I can hide a lack of growth from others-which was a lie in itself. But now, the Lord has placed someone in my life that I am allowing myself to become completely transparent before and accountable to, and therefore I have no desire to ever sit before him and say, "I am not taking the time to grow and mature." I'm sure at some point in our life together this kind of conversation will take place, but I'm discovering how freeing it is to be so genuinely and unconditionally loved by a Godly man. Having such a man of God in my life is serving to draw me closer to Christ which in turn is causing me to long to be even more like my Savior.

Dear Father, please do not let this change. Continue to use this relationship to draw me closer to Your side. Continue to create and mold in me the gentle and sweet spirit of a Godly woman.

"A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken."
Ecclesiastes 4:12

Bucket of Blessings

This week God is standing over me and laughing while He holds an empty bucket with the word "BLESSINGS" written on it. It is empty because He just dumped it all over me!

His name is Taylor Belt. We met on Sunday afternoon, and of the last 72 hours we have talked for 22. It's looking like one of those, "Sometimes it just clicks" situations. It's amazing! He's amazing! Whatever this fun adventure holds, I'm along for the ride!

Thank you, O Gracious God!

"No eye has seen,
No ear has heard,
No mind has conceived
What God has prepared for those who love Him."
1 Corinthians 2:9

How Can I Keep From Singing?

At praise team practice tonight, we learned a new song called "How Can I Keep From Singing?" After the drama of last night's post, this song was a breath of fresh air to my soul. I wish you could hear the melody, but for now you will have to settle for the words.

"There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul,
I hear the music ring.
And though the storms may come,
I am holding on,
And to the Rock I cling.

How can I keep from singing Your praise?
How can I ever say enough?
How amazing is Your love!
How can I keep from shouting Your name?
I know I am loved by the King,
And it makes my heart want to sing.

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night,
For I know my Savior lives.
And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through,
And sing the songs you give.

How can I keep from singing Your praise?
How can I ever say enough?
How amazing is Your love!
How can I keep from shouting Your name?
I know I am loved by the King,
And it makes my heart want to sing.

I know I am loved by the King,
And it makes my heart want to sing."

Words and Music by Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, and Ed Cash

Piano Peace

Burned-out. Exhausted. Hurt. Lonely. Disillusioned.

These are all words I have used to describe myself in the past week. And, yes, these words sound like I've been having a rather large pity-party. At some points, I unfortunately did allow these feelings to drag me into a pity-party. At many other points, I sat quietly in full realization of the sovereignty, love, and nearness of God while still feeling these emotions. Sometimes I am struck by times when I can know God is restoring my hope and strength while still feeling the emotions from the pit He is pulling me out of.

So, that has been my week. Today was different. Today was peaceful and beautiful. Today I was able to lose myself in music: one of God's finest creations. You see, I love the piano. I love to listen to piano music, and I love to play the piano. I took lessons growing up, but have unfortunately lost most of the skills I had acquired along the way. One of the things on my list of things to do before I die is to try again. Take the time to sit and practice and allow those buried skills to rise again. A friend of mine discovered that I have this longing, and he arranged for me to play today in a private room at a store that sells Steinway pianos. It was a wonderful experience! I sat in this private room on a GORGEOUS Steinway grand piano playing away at my silly little Level 1 music books from my first years of lessons. It was far from sophisticated, but it was refreshing. This afternoon I was able to spend one hour lost in music, focusing my talent only to my Lord who is carrying me through the burn-out, exhaustion, hurt, loneliness, and disillusionment of life. What a blessing! Thank you, Lord, for giving me an hour to worship you in a unique way that brought me such peace!

"Mary responded, 'Oh, how my soul praises the Lord.
How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!
For he took notice of his lowly servant girl,
and from now on all generations will call me blessed.
For the Mighty One is holy,
and he has done great things for me.'"
Luke 1:46-49

Choose Life

This is the first time I have ever blogged more than once in a day...but the following has been sitting on my heart today and I thought I'd share.

"See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you TODAY to love the LORD your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess...This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, BLESSINGS and curses. NOW CHOOSE LIFE, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to His voice, and HOLD FAST TO HIM. For the LORD IS YOUR LIFE, and He will give you many years in the land he swore to give your fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob."
Deuteronomy 30:15-16, 19-20

This morning I composed a post about the confusion going on in my heart and mind, and the opportunity I had today to sit in that confusion, lay it before the Lord, and leave it in His hands. After finishing my post, the part of the above first that says, "Now choose life..." started playing through my mind and heart. I found myself praising the Lord for my singlehood today because today that means I have no distractions. I have been able to dedicate my entire day to resting in Him...laying my heart open before Him...listening to Him...and delighting in my Heavenly Prince Charming. What a breath of fresh air today has been!

"Now choose life..."

What does this verse mean to you?

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Scene: 2nd grade boy and girl in the nurse's office after the boy has rammed his toe into the classroom door because he was angry. The girl has accompanied him to the nurse and sits beside him as his toe is cared for.

Girl: Do you know the fruits of the Spirit?
Boy: No
Girl: Let me see if I can remember them. (pause) Self-control. That's one of them. Self control is when God helps you not hurt yourself or someone else even if you get angry.

Girl proceeds to go kindly, calmly, and gently through each fruit of the Spirit explaining them to Boy.

Girl: Does Jesus live in your heart?
Boy Shrugs
Girl: Can I pray for you right now so Jesus will come live in your heart?

Girl prays for boy, and he repeats her petitions while the teary-eyed nurse looks on in awe.

Many of you have heard this story already, but for those of you that haven't...what I have just put before you actually happened at my school on Friday! I can't help but joyfully laugh at a Lord who puts himself right into schools where He is "not supposed to be." The nurse told me one of the most amazing things about the whole incident was the gentility and grace with which the little girl taught this young boy. I have been in awe all weekend as this story has rolled around in my head. What a mighty and awesome God we serve!! May we all learn a lesson from this humble and precious little girl!!!!

"From the lips of children and infants

you have ordained praise."

Ps. 8:2

I Want to Hold Your Hand

As I picked up my students from Art class today, one of my precious ones ran up to me, looked at me with puppy dog eyes, and said, "I want to hold your hand." It is pretty much impossible to refuse such a request. This particular student does this from time to time whenever he just needs an extra measure of loving devotion. He's not afraid to say, "Miss Lowery, I need to hold your hand for a minute. " Or, "Miss Lowery, I need a hug." It is precious to me, and today it brought other reflections to my mind and heart.

We all need that, don't we? Every once in a while we need someone to just love on us a little more than normal. Sometimes an extra hug or genuine, "How are you?" just happens upon us. Other times we have to humble ourselves and say, "I need a little love today. Can you help me with that?" (Side note: asking children to hug you is a great way to get a little more lovin' in your day!) It's not always easy to do that, however.

So, here's what I wonder...do you ever ask this of God? Do you sometimes find yourself saying, "Lord God, will you shower a little more love on me today? I am feeling the need to be reminded that I am the child and you are the parent." And, that's what it is really all about. He is our Father. We are His children. Just like you crawled in your mom or dad's lap for no reason other than cause you wanted to be close; so you can crawl into the lap of your Heavenly Father and just absorb His love.

Last night as I was getting ready for bed, my mind was reviewing a few things that have happened over the last few days. Nothing major, but just reflecting on some conversations. Through my reflections, I was left with a few questions that are completely unknown to me at this point. As I got into bed, I found myself saying, "Lord, it's a good thing you are in control of all of that, because I sure don't want to be." I was able to lay down in His loving presence and sleep knowing that He is in control. This concept is seen in our lives when children can relax and go to sleep knowing that their parents are in the same house taking care of all of their needs.

All of these things have just reminded me how much comfort we can take from viewing God as our Abba Father. We have physical evidence in this life of how comforting parents/adults can be to children, and we can cling to that image as we assume the role of sons and daughters of God. Don't be afraid to let God love on you. Ask Him for an extra measure of love if you are feeling a little drained. He is always waiting right there to shower you with blessings beyond what you can imagine. Open your eyes and see His love pouring down all around you!

"I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing."

Ezekiel 34:26

"As a mother comforts her child,

so will I comfort you;

and you will be comforted over Jerusalem."

Isaiah 66:13

What I Know

My time yesterday spent in silence before the Lord was refreshing (see yesterday's blog). I took a wonderful nap with lullaby praise and worship music playing in the background. There is nothing like having those uplifting songs flowing through my spirit while I am unconscious. I woke up feeling comforted and at peace.

I was thinking some more about the state of my emotions yesterday--feeling lonely and full of questions. And, here is what I've learned in these last few months of embracing my singlehood: sometimes I will feel that way and that is okay. Sometimes my emotions won't get the better of me, and that's okay too. But, no matter what my emotions end up doing, these things I know with all of my being:

1. God is WHO He says He is!!!
2. God can do WHAT He says He can do!!!
3. I am who God says I am!
4. I can do ALL things through Christ!
5. God's Word is alive and active in ME!
(Taken from Believing God by Beth Moore)

Because I know these things, I can deal with an emotionally blah day. Because I know these things deep inside of me, then I can take a day like yesterday and set aside my questions and longings and just sit in His presence because all of the things listed above are true. I am realizing more and more the need to have days like yesterday. Because when I take the time to absorb what I know, then I am able to face what I don't know.

Thank you, most gracious Heavenly Father, thank you for giving me opportunities to dig and question and learn even when it is tough. Because, I am learning Father, that the tough times are what make the times of joy that much more inexpressibly amazing. I also thank you, Abba, for the times that I can just sit and be...that I can just rest. Thank you for being who you said you are. Thank you for doing what you said you would do. Thank you for making Your Word alive in me. I am not worthy, but you are so gracious. Praise Your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

"The Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you." John 14:26

Morning Surprise

Yesterday morning as the bell rang at 7:50 for the children to bombard our classrooms, I noticed that my neighboring teacher wasn't there yet. While she sometimes comes in at the last minute, there is usually a call that proceeds the late arrival informing us of a family situation or car trouble. Yesterday, however, there was no call. For some reason, I went a little into panic mode. I picked up my phone to call her cell and make sure she was alright, when in she walked. I went on and on about how grateful I was to see her cause my mind had already jumped to all measures of things that could have happened. She thanked me for being concerned, and we both jumped into our busy days.

This morning upon arriving at school, I came into my room to discover a present on my desk. My co-teacher had bought me a CD I had been longing to have for my classroom. She left me a note thanking me for being concerned for her. I found her and thanked her, but I told her she didn't need to buy me a gift just for making sure she was okay. She went into a story about what an awful night and morning she had had, and how wonderful it felt to come into school and have someone concerned that she was okay. I was floored, because I had no idea that life had been rough on her the last 12 hours. I just simply wanted to know if she was safe. Walking in this morning to discover her thoughtful gift was a bright start to my day. Sometimes God just provides us with little things to help us get through our days. I love it when He does that!!!

"Rejoice in the Lord, always. I will say it again, Rejoice!"

Health

July 17, 2006 greeted me with the first day of a three-day workshop, and the beginnings of what I thought was sinus infection. By the end of the three-day workshop, I was running a low-grade fever and feeling much like I'd been run over by a truck. However, a sinus infection it was not. Two weeks later I finally asked the doctor for a mono test. It came back positive. Finally after two weeks I had something to blame for having barely enough energy to walk across my apartment not to mention the worst sore throat and stomach pains I've ever had in my life.

My next obstacle was figuring out how to get through the first of school. August 1st was meant to be my first day to begin getting my new classroom ready for my first graders. However, I was only two weeks into a virus that at its best lasts four to six weeks. I was incredibly overwhelmed, but lacked any energy to do anything about it. My mother was a life-saver. She basically put together my classroom while I told her what to do. The other teachers on my team took care of so many things for me all the way until about mid-October. I spent the first six weeks of school working only four days a week. It was Christmas before I could finally say, "I think I feel normal."

As I walked into my apartment today after going to workout I was struck at how wonderful it is to be able to exercise. I went from working out 4-5 days a week the first of July, to using all my energy to take a shower by the end of July. Talk about getting knocked flat on my back!!! What a blessing to be back to normal.

So, how did I see God in my day? In the realization of how awesome it is to have health and be able to participate in activities other than being cozy with my pillow! Praise the Lord!

"I proclaim the name of the LORD. Oh, praise the greatness of our God!"

Deut. 32:3

A Savings of $8

A friend shared something very special with me the other day. She told me that she and her husband have recently started asking each other, "How did you see God today?" before going to bed. What a wonderful way to reflect on the day before laying down to rest! It made me want to redirect my thoughts at the end of each day.

With these thoughts in mind this morning, I headed to a local grocery store to stock my fridge for the coming week. It was a busy morning in the grocery department, and thus caused a small wait at the checkout counter. When my turn came, the friendly checkout assistant asked if I had a rewards card to receive savings on my groceries. I did not have one, and not wanting to slow down the line behind me I declined signing up for one. The lady behind me leaned forward and asked, "Would you like to use my card for the discounts? I hate to see people not save a little money when they can." I graciously accepted, thanked her, and left the store with a smile on my face.

I have no idea if this lady is practicing her Christianity in this manner, or if she is just a very friendly lady...but God used her today to touch my life. It made me wonder if I am as willing to step forward and offer help to someone at a busy store. Or, am I just caught up in my own world while patiently waiting for my turn?

So...How do you let God use you each day? And...how have you seen God in your life today?

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me...I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

Matt. 25:35-36, 40