Friday, June 4, 2010

The End of an Era

It's finally here. My time to begin letting my to-do list and schedule actually follow the same path as my heart's priorities. School finished today at the end of a very long, emotionally draining week that I may choose to talk about at another time. But, it's over. I moved out my personal things. I turned in my keys. And, I left. For 24 years my life has operated on a school calendar. That will happen again, of course, once we have children in school; but for now I get to revel in what I would do if my life didn't revolve around an August to May schedule. Since I was 5 years old I have dreamed about being a teacher, and for 5 years I have been one. There were parts I thoroughly loved about it. There were parts I could have done without. A brief parent note today summed up the part I enjoyed when it said, "It is because of you that [my son] reads." That touched my heart in a place that is only touched when I'm a teacher.

But, I've reached a point in my life right now where getting up and going to work all day everyday isn't my top priority. When I started teaching, I wasn't married. I needed the job to live on, and I needed the job to provide some substance to my life. Now, I'm married, and I'm dying to make being a wife my top job! I want to be able to serve my husband by having more energy and focus at home. I am going to be able to work from home on my jewelry business touching the lives of other women while my number one focus (after my spiritual walk, of course) gets to be towards my husband and our home. I honestly don't know what to do first. I've longed for months to be at this point because there was so much I wanted to do, and now that I'm here I don't know where to start. Granted, I've only been "here" for 4 1/2 hours. I fully expect to spend the next several days and weeks learning what the rhythm of being a full-time wife while working from home feels like. I'm beside myself excited, but I'm also quietly contemplating how fabulous this feels inside.

So, for now, the teacher part of me is taking a break. Someday, Lord willing, I will open my home and heart to other children that need help learning to read--beginning my own therapy business. There is still a part inside of me that gets such joy from unlocking the door in the child that opens them up to the world of reading; and I want to one day be back doing that again. In the meantime, I am closing the back cover on this chapter of my life, curling up with a brand new book, and longing deeply to see what's inside.


Jennifer said...

Wonderful. I'm so excited for you!