Saturday, January 12, 2008

To Listen Like One Being Taught

In my blog entitled, "2008-A Fresh Start," I confessed my need to learn to let go of my dreams and just let the Lord lead me. With all of that in mind, I started Beth Moore's Bible study Breaking Free. I am two weeks into the study and feel that my heart and mind are being opened to what I am missing. I am realizing how little I have let myself find satisfaction and fulfillment simply in my relationship with Christ. I can tell 2008 is going to be quite a journey. The following verses really struck deep into my soul today as I was spending some time in study. I wanted to share them with you and ask that you join me in praying for an open heart and mind towards all the lessons the Lord has for me to learn!

"Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise His holy name.
Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not ALL his benefits-
who forgives all your sin and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
so that your youth is renewed like the eagles."
Psalm 103:1-5

"The Sovereign LORD has given me an instructed tongue,
to know the Word that sustains the weary.
He wakens me morning by morning,
Isaiah 50:4

"This is what the LORD says-your Redeemer,
the Holy One of Israel:
'I am the LORD your God,
who directs you in the way you should go.'"
Isaiah 48:17

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Rori's First Christmas

I realized when I sat down to make this post that I am going out of order. I blogged a few days ago about a fresh start to 2008. Today I downloaded some pictures on my computer and wanted to share them with you. These are pictures of my sweet Rori from Christmas at my grandmother's house in Corpus Christi. She's getting so big. Rori is almost 10 months old, and is really becoming a wonderful dog. She plays so well by herself, and she is learning to be quite the cuddle bug. I love being a dog owner!!! So, here's some pics of my mischievous little girl on her first Christmas.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

2008-A Fresh Start

Saturday evening I returned home after a wonderful Christmas week in Corpus Christi with my family. The drive had been long but uneventful. I went about the task of unpacking, putting away Christmas gifts from my family and my students (which I had not done before leaving on vacation), and just overall tidying up my disheveled apartment. I fell into bed exhausted but unable to sleep. Without really forming conscious thoughts I began to let my heart pray. In that time, the Lord revealed something to me as this thought crossed my mind, "You are too focused on the waiting; you are forgetting to live."

So, now here I sit several days later just now getting around to blogging about this epiphany because I've been dreading putting it into writing. In 2007, I was blessed to fall more deeply in love with my Savior than I realized was possible. I also learned to make peace with "waiting" at this time in my life without feeling the need to rush my dreams into existence. What I didn't realize is that I took that peace too far and just let myself "be" in waiting.

Some of my readers may be thinking, "Kristi, you've said things similar to this along the way; why is it just now sinking in?" I don't know, but praise the Lord He is patient with me! He's probably going to have to continue to remind me all throughout 2008 to just keep living and stop being concerned about waiting.

And, like I said, I've dreaded writing this down. Because, honestly, I'm scared. I'm scared and lonely and a little disillusioned about the church being my family. A few things have happened in the last several weeks that have made reality out of the idea that our culture and the church are designed around couples and families. Having said that, I know that God's grace covers all of this and He will provide healing from the disillusionment.

It's also scary to finally admit I just need to let go of my dreams and see what God is dreaming up for me right now. Yes, maybe I should say that one more time. In 2008, I am going to let go of my dreams and see what dreams God has for me.

Last night I was at some friends' house for a New Year's Eve dinner. Because of the number of young children among us we toasted in the New Year early and went our separate ways. At 8:30, we joined in a circle and each mentioned blessings, dreams, or wishes for the New Year. With all of the previously discussed thoughts in mind, I lifted my glass and said, "To all things unimaginable." The verse at the end of this blog is going to be my "theme" for 2008. I am going to meditate on and pray through this verse throughout the year knowing that God's plans for me are unimaginable. Because if I am just waiting instead of living, then the unimaginable may pass me by.

May 2008 be full of all things unimaginable for you and your loved ones! I pray God's richest blessings in your lives.

"No one has ever imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him!"
1 Cor 2:9