Tuesday, May 1, 2007

When Did Life Get So Busy?

Why do we expect so much out of ourselves? Why do others expect so much out of us? How come, when I already feel spread thin, something else comes along to make me feel even more stretched beyond my limits? Is it my fault that I'm overwhelmed? Is it my fault that I feel pressure from all around me to keep doing, doing, doing, and while I'm at it...do it perfectly?!?!?

Let me just say that since it is May 1st, some of my ranting and raving can be attributed to the end of the school year and a longing for a much-needed vacation. And, yes, in many ways it is my fault. It is my fault for holding myself to perfection. It is my fault for trying to do more than I can. It is my fault for leaving out time with God because the rest of the world needs me right now.

And, that's the crux of the matter, isn't it? I'm too busy and spread thin because I forgot to invite God into this crazy time of year. I've gone into survival mode. As in, "I am just going to get through the next three and a half weeks, and then I'll take care of myself." I've forgotten that maybe God can equip me to be my best during this time instead of just surviving. The problem is I don't know how to draw on that power. What do I pray for in order to change my attitude towards one of opportunity instead of defeat? Maybe admitting this is the first step. Maybe I just need to lay with my face to the ground, and say, "God I am so tired and worn out I don't have it in me to do all I need to do. But, you placed me here for 'such a time as this.' Please work in me. Please give me your strength and power. Fill me with your presence and your attitude. I can't do it, but you can. And, I'm okay with that. Use me Lord...even now!!!"

"I can do EVERYTHING through Him who gives me STRENGTH."
Philippians 4:13