I figured out how to change up my banner a little so that it would fit and not be off center. I just couldn't stand the asymmetrical banner anymore! Now that I have figured it out, I can have even more fun! Enjoy!
Kristi Renee Belt
-Bachelor of Arts
-Master of Education
-Reading Specialist
-Academic Language Therapist in training
-Premier Designs Independent Jewelry Consultant
I promise I’m not tooting my own horn. I’m processing. These are my current hats (minus being a wife, daughter, sister, friend, servant, and Child of God). These are the things the world sees as accomplishments. I guess in many ways they are. They could explain an extreme need to be successful. I guess that could be true about me, but more than that I think they show my love of learning. Each accomplishment on this list was born out of a desire to learn something new. I could be a forever student—yes, I’m one of “those.”
Lately, however, I feel like I’m drowning in my “accomplishments.” When I set out to accomplish each of the above things, I believed I had God’s blessing. I believed that He would use these things through me as a ministry to Him. Somehow that’s still true, but I’m struggling with it. Because, somewhere at the heart of me, I feel that my true passions and the hats I want to be wearing are being neglected (wife, daughter, sister, friend, servant, and Child of God). It has been affirmed to me that I am not neglecting these things, but rather ministering to each of these at the same time. I appreciate the affirmation, and I’m thankful that God is using me; but why do I feel spread too thin? Why do I suddenly feel that I have put too much time and effort into my accomplishments and not enough focus on becoming like Christ and deeply ministering to His people? I KNOW that I can do both of those things while living out the above accomplishments and successes. But, for now, I FEEL a little lost. I don’t have peace for some reason, and I’m exploring why. Is it because something needs to go? Do my priorities need to change? Is it just a time of wilderness where I can’t feel what God is doing, but He IS living out His promises through me and therefore I must trust and obey? Is there something in me God is molding that my spirit of unease is directing me towards? Surely, it’s not a mid-life crisis right now at the age of 28??? ;)
For now, I’m here. Getting up each day and doing what God puts before me on that day; praying fervently for my next step and His providential direction.
I am still in the process of cutifying my blog. (Yes, I made up that word!). I'm really excited that I was finally able to personalize a banner-thanks Amy! But, I can't figure out why the banner is going outside the box at the top for banners. Now my blog is off center and that bothers me. :) Does anyone have any pointers for me?
Random:
1. Why does the card machine at Sonic ask me if I know my pin number? (Amy also asked this question on her blog awhile back…I wanted to ditto it!)
2. When my husband makes me tea in the mornings, why is it always better than when I make my own tea?
3. Why do I feel like a better teacher and have more energy in a school day when I get to wear jeans?
4. What is happening in little children’s bodies (especially K-2nd) that makes it impossible to walk or sit still? At this point, I’m completely used to it; but it’s so funny to watch it just makes me wonder.
5. Why did it take years and years for me to realize that "The Quiet Game" could actually be played as a game instead of just what mom told us to do when we got too loud? I mean, I know that even in game form the job of "The Quiet Game" is to give adults some peace and quiet. But, it was never a real game...it was just a nice way of saying, "BE QUIET!" ;)
Serious:
1. When I focus on a new self-discipline in my life, why do my previous self-disciplines fall to the wayside? Is it really that hard to be self-disciplined in more than one area at a time?
2. Why is it that when I know I feel better if I’m exercising regularly do I continue to talk myself out of doing it at the end of a long school day?
3. If I know I feel better when I don’t eat products with wheat in them, then why do I continue to “just deal with the pain” and eat them anyway?
4. Why does a 9-year-old girl have to ask her mom why Jesus hasn’t fixed her dyslexia yet—even when she’s made lots of progress?
5. Why do some Christian families seem to have more hard things happen to them than others? I know that there is a spiritual battle raging, and God allows things to draw us closer to Him; but sometimes it seems that the “wealth” of hardship needs to be spread around a little more.
6. Why do innocent kids have to pay for the mistakes and sometimes outright stupidity of their parents?
There are not really any answers to these questions, and I'm completely okay with that. Just wanted to share with you some of the questions that have crossed my mind this week. What are you wondering about…random or serious?
I am trying to spice up my blog. I found a very cute background (as you can see) that I got from The Cutest Blog on the Block website (thanks Amy-I found this on your blog!). I have tried getting a banner and some extra fun things for my blog, but all of these require using a PhotoShop type program and then uploading into my blog. I am having difficulties with this for some reason. Oh well...one step at a time, I guess. I'll keep playing with it. For now...enjoy the cute background but look forward to some icing on this cake in the future! Happy Reading!
It has been awhile since I caught my readers up on what is happening in our lives. We’ve been married for nine months, and we are some place completely different today than either of us could have probably imagined 9 months ago. But, we would not trade a second of this journey of marriage and life together! We are having a blast and loving doing life together! So, here’s an update of the comings and goings of The Belts!
Update on me: I cannot believe that I am in my 5th year of teaching. It has been a whirlwind for sure! I have been with Frisco ISD the entire time, and it’s so neat to see all the changes that happen in a school district through the years. This is my 2nd year doing dyslexia therapy, and I’m still thoroughly enjoying it. The training program is for 2 years, so I’m on the home stretch working towards my Academic Language Therapy certification. Summer 2010 I will be taking the ALT exam to receive my official certification. I cannot wait to be finished with this training and fully certified. It has been said by many that I am a perpetual student…and this is so true. I have loved being able to teach while going through this training because I got to be a student and teacher at the same time. I have learned so much and am continually amazed at how God created us and how He enabled us to combat difficulties that children can experience.
In addition to training and teaching, I have started a new venture working for myself. In July I began my business as a consultant for Premier Designs Jewelry. I am thoroughly loving this job! It’s completely different than teaching and allows me an outlet to spend time serving women instead of children! Taylor and I hope to start our family in a couple years, and we both feel it is important for me to stay home. Premier Designs will give me an opportunity to add to our finances while being a full time wife and mom! I am loving all the things God is doing with me and through me as a teacher and as a jewelry lady. At this moment in my life this is very fulfilling for me!
Update on Taylor: Taylor is in his 3rd year teaching, and his 2nd year working for Birdville ISD. He is the percussion director for Birdville High and its cluster schools. He also teaches about 20 private lessons a week to many of his students from those schools. This time of year is incredibly busy for Taylor due to marching band. We treasure our quiet moments at home together or the occasional chance to go on a date—these are few and far between right now. But, I tag along for most of the contests and cheer him and his kiddos on which is fun for us to do together. It makes me proud to see the way he works with kids!
In May, the Lord blessed Taylor and I with an incredible opportunity! Since we met, Taylor has been talking with me about his passions towards ministry (a passion that began long before we met) and trying to weigh that against his current situation as a band director. We have been talking and praying about this for a year a half, and had agreed that Taylor would start spending some time with some worship ministers we knew and try to gain experience filling in on occasion. We had kind of placed a 2 year time table on him continuing to teach while learning everything he could about worship ministry before he started fully pursuing a position as a worship minister. To keep a long story short, God had a different time table! In May we received an opportunity to join with the Park Row congregation in Arlington in order for Taylor to serve as interim/part time worship minister while the church heads through a period of transition. We were amazed at God’s workmanship in crafting this journey. The sequence of events could only have happened at God’s Mighty Hand! So, Taylor is also working part time at Park Row making our lives incredibly full and happy as well as busy, but God’s Hand is in all of it! We do not know the timing of how much longer he will be teaching. Our hope is that this will be the last school year, but that rests in the Lord’s will. Taylor loves teaching, but his passion for ministry is significantly greater that his passion for teaching. This is where we believe God is calling us; and though overwhelming and unknown at many points right now, it is a journey we wouldn’t trade for anything!!!
So, this is us. Journeying through the will of God each day, learning where he wants us to move. There are amazing and wonderfully fulfilling things going on in our lives right now. There is a whole lot of unknown regarding our future as well. But, when is the future really known anyway? God has us in the palm of His Hand. All we really want to do, is serve Him passionately and use our lives individually and as a couple to glorify Him always!!!
It is early Sunday morning. My husband gets to church at 7 on Sundays to make sure everything is prepped before praise team practice at 8. Sometimes I take my own car so that I can rest a little more and not be a distraction to him as he works. This morning, I decided to come along with him. I am currently in the middle of Beth Moore's Esther Bible study, so I got comfy on the couch in his office and dived back into the dramatic narrative that is the story of Esther. I'm in the middle of chapter 5. At the end of chapter 4, Esther has begged Mordecai and the Jews to fast for three days and pray as she prepared to risk her life to go before the king. One of the things I had never really noticed before until this study is that Esther tells Mordecai that she has not been summoned by the king (her husband) in 30 days. Her life is at stake because it was against the law to walk into the king's presence without being summoned. But, I believe Esther was afraid her life was at stake for a 2nd reason: because she had not been called in a month. I believe she feared that she no longer pleased her husband enough for him to feel her life worth sparing. How scary!
Chapter 5 begins with Esther going to see the king and requesting a banquet. After extending his sceptor to her, the kings asked Esther in verse 3, "What is it, Queen Esther?" Beth mentions in this lesson that the Hebrew translation for "what is it?" is akin to "what troubles you?" It was apparent to the king that something was wrong. Despite Esther's bravery and determination in fulfilling God's will for her, she was still human and extremely scared and nervous. "What if I mess up? What if he doesn't love me enough anymore to save my life? What if I am unable to save my people?" I believe all of these questions plus many more were going through Esther's mind. And, that's where my mind starting whirling today...because Beth used this dramatic moment in Esther's story to talk about perfectionism. Here's a quote from her study:
"Beloved, do we believe that the only way to do something acceptably is to do it perfectly? Sometimes God is more aware than we of just how much He requires of us. He knows how hard it's going to be for us...Do you happen to struggle with perfectionism and perhaps could use a little ministry? Do you feel if you can't do something to perfection, you ought not bother? Do you frequently feel pressure to perform tasks that will result in applause? When you blow it, do you wait a long time before trying again? Do you feel the need to always make an 'A'?...Perfectionism is a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as being unacceptable...I'm not suggesting we shouldn't do our best. I'm simply saying that sometimes just surviving certain tasks without fallling apart is our best and in those times God is not ashamed of our performance. He's proud of us for fighting overwhelming human emotions to do His will. God isn't interested in our stellar performances but in our hearts. He loves our willingness and obedience despite our insecurities."
I don't even have a good comment on this yet. I'm going to have to spend a lot of time thinking and praying through this idea and concept over the next many days. I have been convicted and in some sense am experiencing some type of spiritual relief, but that relief is currently at war with my nature of perfectionism. So, I need time. I need to pray and meditate on this concept and on the story of Esther. In the meantime, I cannot wait to continue on this journey with this Queen who may not have been perfect, but was bold in the Lord.
