Thankful

I posted last week about the overwhelming state I was in (see My Hats). Since then, God has continued to work on my heart and mind. A couple significant things have been said to me; one through a friend, and the other through my current Bible study. First of all, when sharing some of my struggles with my Bible class on Sunday a new, sweet friend shared with me her experience with the same feelings and confusions in her life a couple years ago. She mentioned that she too felt that God had given her each of her "hats," but that she was struggling to keep them all on her head. She prayed and prayed for God to release her from something, but He did not close any doors for a time. He simply asked her to trust Him. Eventually he did close some doors and provide her with gracious relief. That was a balm to my soul to hear. God is not releasing me yet from any of my many "hats," but is asking me to allow HIM to give me balance and perspective in all of them until such a time as HE decides fit to close some doors.

Secondly, in my study of the book of Esther, the idea has been presented that women often feel responsible for the "hows" of life. Man, if that isn't me...I don't know what is! There is freedom in embracing that God is in charge of the how, not me! It's okay to long for things while I wait--that's healthy and biblical! But, going crazy trying to make the how happen NOW is not my job! Whew! So, I will keep praying, keep studying, keep releasing each and every "hat" up to Him every morning until He puts the hows into motion!

For, now...here's some things I'm thankful for that get me through each day:

Thank you, dear Father, for:

1) A successful marching season for my husband and his kids.
2) The end of marching season!!!
3) A husband that now keeps "normal" hours and can (and loves to) help out with more things around the house!
4) Sunny days--it's been feeling a little "Pacific Northwest" around here lately, so I cherish sunny, dry days!
5) Theme days at school when I get to wear jeans or slippers. I love teaching when I'm comfortable!
6) Using me as a dyslexia teacher
7) Using me as a jewelry lady
8) Using me as a minister's wife
9) Using me as a band director's wife
10) Hot tea made in the early morning made by my loving husband
11) Singing with my husband
12) A sweet dog that brings joy to our apartment
13) Laughter!
14) New friendships
15) dreams, visions, and new destinies in the making that only you know about

In the midst of what we sometimes perceive as chaos, what are you thankful for?

I DID IT!!!

I figured out how to change up my banner a little so that it would fit and not be off center. I just couldn't stand the asymmetrical banner anymore! Now that I have figured it out, I can have even more fun! Enjoy!

My Hats

Kristi Renee Belt

-Bachelor of Arts
-Master of Education
-Reading Specialist
-Academic Language Therapist in training
-Premier Designs Independent Jewelry Consultant

I promise I’m not tooting my own horn. I’m processing. These are my current hats (minus being a wife, daughter, sister, friend, servant, and Child of God). These are the things the world sees as accomplishments. I guess in many ways they are. They could explain an extreme need to be successful. I guess that could be true about me, but more than that I think they show my love of learning. Each accomplishment on this list was born out of a desire to learn something new. I could be a forever student—yes, I’m one of “those.”

Lately, however, I feel like I’m drowning in my “accomplishments.” When I set out to accomplish each of the above things, I believed I had God’s blessing. I believed that He would use these things through me as a ministry to Him. Somehow that’s still true, but I’m struggling with it. Because, somewhere at the heart of me, I feel that my true passions and the hats I want to be wearing are being neglected (wife, daughter, sister, friend, servant, and Child of God). It has been affirmed to me that I am not neglecting these things, but rather ministering to each of these at the same time. I appreciate the affirmation, and I’m thankful that God is using me; but why do I feel spread too thin? Why do I suddenly feel that I have put too much time and effort into my accomplishments and not enough focus on becoming like Christ and deeply ministering to His people? I KNOW that I can do both of those things while living out the above accomplishments and successes. But, for now, I FEEL a little lost. I don’t have peace for some reason, and I’m exploring why. Is it because something needs to go? Do my priorities need to change? Is it just a time of wilderness where I can’t feel what God is doing, but He IS living out His promises through me and therefore I must trust and obey? Is there something in me God is molding that my spirit of unease is directing me towards? Surely, it’s not a mid-life crisis right now at the age of 28??? ;)

For now, I’m here. Getting up each day and doing what God puts before me on that day; praying fervently for my next step and His providential direction.

Blogging Woes

I am still in the process of cutifying my blog. (Yes, I made up that word!). I'm really excited that I was finally able to personalize a banner-thanks Amy! But, I can't figure out why the banner is going outside the box at the top for banners. Now my blog is off center and that bothers me. :) Does anyone have any pointers for me?

Wonderings

Random:
1. Why does the card machine at Sonic ask me if I know my pin number? (Amy also asked this question on her blog awhile back…I wanted to ditto it!)
2. When my husband makes me tea in the mornings, why is it always better than when I make my own tea?
3. Why do I feel like a better teacher and have more energy in a school day when I get to wear jeans?
4. What is happening in little children’s bodies (especially K-2nd) that makes it impossible to walk or sit still? At this point, I’m completely used to it; but it’s so funny to watch it just makes me wonder.
5. Why did it take years and years for me to realize that "The Quiet Game" could actually be played as a game instead of just what mom told us to do when we got too loud? I mean, I know that even in game form the job of "The Quiet Game" is to give adults some peace and quiet. But, it was never a real game...it was just a nice way of saying, "BE QUIET!" ;)

Serious:
1. When I focus on a new self-discipline in my life, why do my previous self-disciplines fall to the wayside? Is it really that hard to be self-disciplined in more than one area at a time?
2. Why is it that when I know I feel better if I’m exercising regularly do I continue to talk myself out of doing it at the end of a long school day?
3. If I know I feel better when I don’t eat products with wheat in them, then why do I continue to “just deal with the pain” and eat them anyway?
4. Why does a 9-year-old girl have to ask her mom why Jesus hasn’t fixed her dyslexia yet—even when she’s made lots of progress?
5. Why do some Christian families seem to have more hard things happen to them than others? I know that there is a spiritual battle raging, and God allows things to draw us closer to Him; but sometimes it seems that the “wealth” of hardship needs to be spread around a little more.
6. Why do innocent kids have to pay for the mistakes and sometimes outright stupidity of their parents?

There are not really any answers to these questions, and I'm completely okay with that. Just wanted to share with you some of the questions that have crossed my mind this week. What are you wondering about…random or serious?