Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Fragile Vessel

"This fragile vessel You have made, no hand on earth can fill. For the waters of this world have failed, and I am thirsty still."
The word picture that these lyrics create is refreshing to me. I have been doing some reading about the practice of solitude and its importance in spiritual formation. When the song that contains the above verse was given to me to sing on Sunday, I was floored at how well these words depicted the idea behind our need for solitude. Consequently, as I contemplate on these words and the spiritual discipline of solitude I am left with these questions:
Why am I always in a hurry?
Why do I struggle with quiet?
Must I always have music or the TV going? And for that matter, if not one of those, then it's always a book...
Can my time with the Lord on any given day truly be "nothing but" sitting quietly in His presence?
What needs to change in my life in order to make more room for time alone with God?
What addictive distractions do I need to let go of in order to better here my Father God?
All of these questions and more are rolling around in my head. And, if I am honest with myself, then I should confess my fear of solitude. I am afraid, because I know that if I devote more time to quietly seeking the heart of my Father, then I will have to change. I want to change, but it might hurt to change. However, in all honesty, the spiritual exhaustion that comes along with not spending time in God's presence is worse than the pain of change. So, for that reason, I will begin practicing the discipline of solitude. I pray that the practice of solitude will give me a greater sense of grace and peace even as I ask my Lord and Father to change me from the inside-out.
"The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."
Ex 14:14