Sacred Sisterhood

Leading worship is...

• a blessing
• exhausting
• a blessing
• hard work
• a blessing
• an adrenaline rush
• a blessing
• followed by an adrenaline crash
• a blessing
• and much, much more

This weekend, I was blessed with the opportunity to lead worship at our annual women's retreat. All of the above bullets describe the experience for me. It was wonderfully hectic and beautiful. The theme for the weekend was Sacred Sisterhood. We tackled the "whoppers" and "milk duds" that tear community apart for women (and, yes, there was definitely chocolate!). We hashed out gossip, slander, bickering, complaining, and other kinds of negative talk women are prone to exhibit. It was a piercing, convicting weekend. The following are some of the questions I found myself asking in my heart of hearts. These are the questions I will need to spend some time prayerfully considering in the days ahead.

• What are my words doing to others?
• What does the spirit of my words do to me?
• How do I be an emotional woman without letting my emotions negatively spill out on others?
• I use words to process, detox, vent, and work through things. How do I balance being a woman who uses words to process, with being a woman who knows when to choose silence?
• Why is it so hard for me to overlook an offense?
• What needs to change in me in order to overlook an offense?
• Do I see each person I come in contact with through the blood of Christ?

So, here I am back to life away from the retreat. It is now time to sit on all the questions and ponderings the Lord has placed in my heart. Pray that the Lord will grant me clarity of thought and conviction to follow through on His guidance. May the Lord bless you as you grow to be more like Him.

"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."
Proverbs 19:11

"...fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ."
2 Corinthians 10:5 from The Message

Ahhh...Sabbath

"The truth is, sabbath keeping is a discipline that will mess with you, because once you move beyond just thinking about it and actually begin to practice it, the goodness of it will capture you, body, soul and spirit. You will long to wake up to a day that stretches out in front of you with nothing in it but rest and delight. You will long for a simple way to turn your heart toward God in worship without much effort. You will long for a space in time when the pace is slow and family and friends linger with one another, savoring one another's presence because no one has anywhere else to go."
-Ruth Haley Barton from her book Sacred Rhythms

Since my college days I have thoroughly enjoyed Sunday afternoon naps. There is something divine about the need for a Sunday afternoon nap. I have found myself saying, "Of course I long for a nap on Sundays more than other days...it is the Sabbath." But, is the Sabbath just about a two-hour nap? For years I have found myself saying that if I get my nap in, then that's all the Sabbath rest I need for the day. However, after reading Ruth Haley Barton's chapter on Sabbath from her book Sacred Rhythms, I am finding myself inclined to think of Sabbath as so much more than just a Sunday afternoon nap. Currently, I am finding myself convicted to protect my Sunday. To make sure that the entire day stays one of rest. All my work around the house and "to-do" things either get done before Sunday or they will wait until Monday. Because Sunday is my day to rest and delight in the Lord. Here's what my day has looked like:

• Worship, communion, and fellowship with other believers
• Simple lunch
• A two and a half hour nap--one of those kinds of naps where you doze for a little while, wake up, roll over, soak in the quiet, and doze some more. I also found myself waking up with the lyrics from a song we sang this morning pouring through my heart and head. I think the Lord was using my nap time to allow this song to penetrate my heart even deeper
• Novel time--reading a novel is so refreshing and relaxing to me. I've discovered that simply watching TV all afternoon on the Sabbath leaves me feeling empty and unfulfilled. Reading is just the opposite.
• Time to meditate and pray on several things such as: selfless love-do I love others in such a way that I demand nothing from them in return? Am I proclaiming Christ to others or just simply showing Christ by my actions? Am I scared to proclaim Christ? Is my heart open to where God is next leading me?
• Leisurely walk with my dog
• Time to blog and read others' blogs
• More novel reading to come...

As I enter early evening of my Sabbath day, I feel as though my body, soul, mind and heart are breathing a collective sigh of relief and rest. Ahhh...it's the Sabbath day. God is good. His will is good. He is holding my life in His hands, and no matter what stretches in front of me tomorrow, this week, next month, or next year I am at rest in Him.

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."
Ephesians 2:10

Girl's Best Friend

My little Rori is now 6 1/2 months old, and I realized I haven't shared pictures in a very long time. Rori is absolutely wonderful. She is so much fun! We play all the time, and she is finally starting to snuggle up a little more. It's amazing how intuitive she is. She was extremely attentive and cuddly last week while I was a little off emotionally. She really is a girl's best friend!!!! I'm so glad I made this investment. We have been going to Petsmart for a little obedience training because Rori is strong-willed! :) She's even been known to spit out her treat after following directions correctly. Little does she know it doesn't bother me if she doesn't eat it! :) Hope you enjoyed the above pictures!

Choose Life

This is the first time I have ever blogged more than once in a day...but the following has been sitting on my heart today and I thought I'd share.

"See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you TODAY to love the LORD your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess...This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, BLESSINGS and curses. NOW CHOOSE LIFE, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to His voice, and HOLD FAST TO HIM. For the LORD IS YOUR LIFE, and He will give you many years in the land he swore to give your fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob."
Deuteronomy 30:15-16, 19-20

This morning I composed a post about the confusion going on in my heart and mind, and the opportunity I had today to sit in that confusion, lay it before the Lord, and leave it in His hands. After finishing my post, the part of the above first that says, "Now choose life..." started playing through my mind and heart. I found myself praising the Lord for my singlehood today because today that means I have no distractions. I have been able to dedicate my entire day to resting in Him...laying my heart open before Him...listening to Him...and delighting in my Heavenly Prince Charming. What a breath of fresh air today has been!

"Now choose life..."

What does this verse mean to you?

Confusion

Do you ever feel like your mind is going in a million different directions, and you can't make sense of it all? Welcome to my world. Today I am confused. My emotions are going in several different directions. My thoughts are going in several different directions. And, I can't make sense of a lick of it. I've spent almost my entire week staying super busy trying to put off dealing with what is going on inside of me. This weekend, however, I've decided it's time to face the music. It's time to let myself cry. It's time to let myself ask tough questions-of myself and of the Lord. It's time for me to be still and try to listen to my heart and the heart of my Father. My plan is to kind of "run away" just for the weekend and let myself be angry, hurt, sad, upset, confused, and at peace...in whatever order it happens to be. I'm so grateful that the Lord created me this way, and therefore will sit by me as each emotion and thought rolls through me and around me.

Lord, I ask that this weekend is productive in the sense that I can work through all that is inside of me...and walk away from the weekend knowing I have firmly placed it all in Your hands. Father God, take it all. Take the pain. Take the confusion. Take the anger and hurt. Heal my heart that I may move forward in Your will. Thank you for loving me Lord. May I learn to love you more!

You Are Good

God knows what we need better than we do, doesn't He? Like today at school. My heart was heavy and burdened all day at school, but I tried my best to lay that aside and just concentrate on my kids. So, I'm picking my kids up from Art class glad to know there are only 30 minutes left until the kids go home and I can go home, take a bath, journal, and just rest. As we walk back into the classroom, one of my precious little girls brings me a picture. "Here, Ms. Lowery, this is for you," she says. It is a picture she made just for me that at the top declares, "Your dreams will come true." Truly, out of the mouths of babes.

I am including in this post, the lyrics to a song I heard on my way to school this morning. I finished my drive to school, with tears streaming down my face, praising the Lord for reminding me of His goodness right at the start of my day. I pray these words are an encouragement to you as well.

When the sun starts to rise and I open my eyes
You are good, so good
In the heat of the day, with each stone that I lay
You are good, so good
With every breath I take in
I'll tell you I'm grateful again
When the moon rises high before each kiss goodnight
You are good.

When the road starts to turn, around each bend I learn
You are good, so good
And when somebody's hand holds me up, helps me stand
You are SO good
With every breath I take in
I'll tell you I'm grateful again
Cause it's more than enough just to know I am loved
And you ARE good

So, how can I thank you?
What can I bring?
What can a poor man lay at the feet of a King?
So I'll sing you a love song
It's all that I have
To tell you I'm grateful for holding my life in Your hands.

When it's dark and it's cold, and I can't feel my soul
You are...STILL good
When the world has gone gray, and the rain's here to stay
You are still good
With every breath I take in
I'll tell you I'm grateful again
And the storm may swell, even then 'It is Well'
And YOU ARE GOOD!

So, how can I thank you?
What can I bring?
What can a poor man lay at the feet of a King?
So I'll sing you a love song
It's all that I have
To tell you I'm grateful for holding my life in Your hands

So I'll sing you a love song!
It's all the I have!
To tell you I'm grateful for holding my life in Your hands!!
YOU ARE HOLDING MY LIFE IN YOUR HANDS!!!

-Point of Grace

Ouch

Oh God, my heart hurts.

As a little child when we fall down and get hurt, all we really want is for our mommy or daddy to scoop us up, put a band-aid on it, and kiss it all better! Father God, can you do that to my heart? Just cradle my heart in your hands. Hold me tight. Kiss it and make it all better. Work it all to your glory! Cause right now, all I can think is, "Ouch!"

"You will go out in joy
And be led forth in peace."
Isaiah 55:12