Curl Up and Read

Orthotics Lessons

2012-01-26T16:11:00.003-06:00

We went to see the Orthotist today for Carter's Plagiocephaly. I just have to say that I am a nerd, and I found the entire thing utterly fascinating!! :) I'm also extremely thankful for the clinic we chose to go to. The people are wonderful and the CPO (Certified Prosthetist Orthotist) was amazing. She was fun, very personable, very knowledgeable, and explained herself clearly. She was wonderful in her interactions with Carter, and that's always important to a mama!

She explained that when an area of the skull is malformed (the flat side of the back of his head) then the brain has to find another area to grow. This is what is causing the beginnings of a bulge on his forehead-his brain doesn't have any room in the back so it's growing where it has room. The wonderful thing about the way God created babies? His brain does have room to grow!!!! Even if it's making his skull misshapen, there is absolutely nothing wrong with his brain!!! (We already knew this, but I was just struck by God's awesomeness of creation as she explained how the skull and brain work at this point in development). The helmet is considered a passive intervention. It is not actually pushing on his head. It will basically only allow his skull to grow in certain directions. So, the area that is flat right now won't actually be touching the inside of the helmet. The helmet will put pressure in other areas so that as his brain grows the flatter areas will have to grow. This is the reason why this intervention only works before 18 months of age--their skull plates have to still be unfused (if that's a word) so that everything can easily move without creating any issues for brain development. Carter is still in a perfect timeframe for intervention.

She took several measurements of Carter's head. Two of the measurements she said that if he had a perfectly round head there would be a 0 mm difference. Carter has a 17 mm difference between these two measurements. Then she told us about a ratio on a different set of measurements. The ratio should be 80%. Carter's was at 93%. (I know I'm not being very technical. I'd have to actually show you on his head where these measurements are, but I think you still get an idea). She classified Carter's Plagiocephaly as severe. She said that if we did nothing that over the next 10 months some change would naturally occur. The flat part of his head would round out some, but that it will not naturally completely correct itself because of the level of severity. She did affirm that it is still a decision up to us. It won't hurt anything to not put a helmet on him. His brain will still grow and develop just fine continuing to make room for itself as it needs to. She commented that if we did nothing the Plagiocephaly could impact how a hat fits in the future as well as glasses if he should need those. She said that women can more easily disguise this issue because of long hair, but that men usually have shorter hair and can go bald so his head shape can potentially be easily noticeable throughout his life. Anyway, all that to say that we in no way have to correct the problem, but it could still impact things in his future. All of this confirmed our decision to go forward with a helmet.

She took some really cool 3D images of Carter's head to send off to the company that makes the helmets. We go in a week to have it fitted and bring it home. We will spend a week breaking it in and working him up to 23 hours a day. She compared this to wearing a new pair of shoes. If he immediately went to 23 hours a day, he could get pressure sores on his head. They will send us with specific instructions for this next week.

We felt very good about today's appointment. We loved her, and feel very comfortable and confident in working with her and her clinic for the next 3-4 months. We are thankful for the Lord's guidance in this process and thankful for an easy going baby that thought today's appointment was just another fun thing in his life. :) We are praying for a smooth transition into the helmet and that he won't even know it's there!

I'll update again next week with how his first fitting went and post pictures as well! I'm sure he will still be the most adorable little boy that exists!

Plagiocephaly...

2012-01-24T18:35:00.003-06:00

...is a big word for flat head. Carter saw a neurosurgeon today for a consultation regarding the flattened right side of his head. Many people have told us they have not noticed his head is misshapen. It is very hard to see from the front. From the back and right side you can tell that he has a significant portion of his head that is flatter than the rest. When looking from the top down you can see that his ears are significantly off center. If you look very closely you can notice that the right side of his forehead slightly protrudes farther forward from the left.

The doctor did let us know it's simply a cosmetic concern, not a medical concern. He did say that the "deformity" was significant enough for him to recommend intervening. He said we could wait and it might correct itself over time, but eventually Carter will reach a point when it will be un-fixable. Right now the plates on his head are still far enough apart to allow a helmet to quickly, easily, and painlessly correct the problem. Once the plates fuse it will not be repairable. Taylor and I decided that because it is a noticeable issue we felt it is important to go ahead and intervene even though it is simply a cosmetic concern.

The neurosurgeon wrote us a referral for an orthotics clinic that will do the measurements, ordering, and fitting of his helmet. We go on Thursday at 1:45 for his initial cranial measurements. This same clinic will do all of his fittings and adjustments. We will go back to the neurosurgeon in 3 months for a follow up. He predicted that it should be corrected by then. It is a little difficult to exactly pinpoint the timeline because a lot of it is based on Carter's growth.

So, that is our update on our sweet little boy and his head. I will continue to update as this journey continues! Now, it's time for me to get online and order him some precious decals for his new helmet!

2012

2012-01-03T13:11:00.003-06:00

I don't like making resolutions. There is a part of my personality that can easily feel guilty if I do not accomplish my goals. It's a flaw that I have to work through. But, I do like the fresh start feeling of a new year. There are several things that I have been reflecting on recently that I have started to change and want to continue as we head into the New Year.

1) I've been a part of Bible Study Fellowship this year. We are studying the book of Acts. It has been incredibly challenging to my spiritual life-in a good way. I have been especially challenged in my prayer life. I want to continue to be convicted and challenged in making prayer a TOP priority in my day, all day as I go about regular life. I want prayer to be the first thing I turn to with every emotion that arises. Before I talk to anyone else, ask opinions or advice, I want to pray. Why is this so hard?

2) Having a large house with many kids has challenged this organized-clean freak. I've been learning lessons in letting things go in order to invest more time into the kids, but I also want to live in a clean, organized environment. I feel calmer and more at home when the house is that way. The problem is that when I look at a plan to re-organize or clean I get overwhelmed with everything needing to be done right away (or at least that's what I think). I found this website on Pinterest:
http://www.home-storage-solutions-101.com/organized-home.html
I've signed up for the weekly organization projects. I'm thrilled to feel like I'm going to make progress in making our home most functional, but LOVE that I will be doing it little by little without taking too much time from family time.

3) I need a creative outlet. Pinterest has helped me find new things and fun projects to help with this. I would like to find 2 or 3 projects a month to give me a creative outlet. It will depend on cost and time commitment, but we'll see what happens.

4) I have a friend that is also a new houseparent at a children's home in Texas. She mentioned in a blog post about journaling with some of her girls. I thought-what a great idea! I would like to start co-journaling with my girls. I'm interested to see if this will open some dialogue that either a) they wouldn't just talk about face to face or b) it's hard to find time to talk about when there are a million other things going on in our house. I'm hoping to start this immediately. I'm prayerful and hopeful for the results.

5) I am wanting to find new ways to encourage and uplift my husband. Entering parenthood and becoming houseparents at the same time has challenged our marriage in new ways. We have had countless conversations since coming here about how to improve communication. Last week we had a conversation about how our love languages have changed since becoming parents. When we got married Taylor and I both committed to each other to continue studying the other person so that we could best know how to love the other. I want to make a renewed effort to make this a priority and not let the busyness of parenthood drown out our marriage.

6) I don't want to be a frumpy mom. I don't need to dress up every day, but I want to at least feel cute. I want to commit to dress in something other than sweats most days of the week. When I take the time to do this, I remember that I am a woman and wife, not just a busy mom. I definitely don't want to be caught up in vanity and materialism, but I want to embrace the way God has made me at this point in my life. I want to take care of and flatter the body I have now as a mom. I want to have energy to be an active mom that enjoys being a part of this busy part of life called parenthood.

I could probably go on and on, but these are the things that have been most in my thoughts the last few days and weeks. Most importantly in 2012, I want God to be at the center of every day-every thought, every action, every emotion, etc.

First Christmas and 7 months old

2012-01-02T20:51:00.007-06:00

We had a wonderful time celebrating Christmas with Carter for the first time. Christmas weekend was also spent with 3 of our foster kids. We spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at my parents house during the day. The day after Christmas our kids went on relief, and it was time to do Christmas with my family. Carter actually got really excited about pulling paper off of packages. I really didn't think he would have any interest this year, but he enjoyed the wrapping paper. Carter got some really fun stuff for Christmas this year-both toys and practical things that he needed. He's had fun playing with his new toys a little at a time. Taylor and I discovered that we were more excited about opening Carter's presents and playing with his new toys with him than we were our own presents. :)

A few days after Christmas our sweet boy reached 7 months old. Where has the time gone? He's really growing up so fast! Here's some stats and new info:
-Weight - approximately 16 lbs (I weighed him on my parent's scale while holding him so it's not accurate)
-Nursing 5 times a day
-Eating solid foods 3 times a day
-His food list is increasing: he has added green beans, carrots, broccoli, yogurt, and oatmeal since my last update. He has not refused any foods yet, though he does not like his yogurt cold. He prefers it at room temperature.
-He's been able to roll over both directions for a few months now but has just recently started rolling to get somewhere. When on his tummy he pushes up all the way on his arms. It won't be long until he figures out he can pull his knees up.

And, of course, pictures:

I made salted dough ornaments for Carter's grandparents and great-grandparents. It was also his first Christmas ornament for our tree.

Christmas morning at church

Opening his first present

Daddy and Carter got matching cowboy slippers

Second Christmas morning

Reflections on Christmas

2011-12-26T12:51:00.003-06:00

There have been many things on my mind this Christmas season. A post about Carter's first Christmas will be coming soon, but I wanted to take a minute to bullet point some of my reflections of experiencing Christmas at ACCH.

-For some of our kids this is one of the hardest times of year. This can be wonderful as we can help make it very special for them. On the other hand this can make it hard because it can mean an increase in frustrating behavior because of the emotions they are dealing with.

-Many, many groups of people want to donate to our children at Christmas. This is a huge blessing!

-My perspective on giving gifts to others in need at Christmas time has very much changed since being here at the Home.

-We did not even give our children everything that was donated. If we had, they may have received upwards of 40+ gifts each. I've learned it gets a little ridiculous. And this is AFTER turning many people away that want to donate.

-It's really hard to teach gratefulness when these kids have not been taught that before AND they get EVERYTHING they could possibly want.

-I've learned that some of the people giving to others at Christmas are actually doing it for themselves not for the ones they are giving to. We had people that wanted to come see the kids on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day to sit with them for a while and give them gifts so they would not be alone on Christmas Day. When we explained that they are not alone-they are a part of a family with normal family Christmas plans and activities and therefore they could not come people were truly upset. They did not want to drop off gifts if they could not come on the big day. If we told groups we had more than enough gifts for Christmas would they be interested in coming for a birthday or at Valentine's Day or some other activity they would tell us no-only Christmas. We have more people "interested" in our kids between Dec 1st and 25th than the entire rest of the year combined. To me this has been heartbreaking, and I've had to work on anger regarding this as well. I've also wondered if I ever gave to others during the holidays for my sake more than theirs? Hmmmmm... I pray I never do that again!

-Despite the emotions of the holidays for my kiddos, Christmas still allows them moments to JUST BE KIDS! For just a minute they can forget about adoption processes, visiting parents in jail, wondering if they will ever have a "normal" family, and all the other things going on in their young heads that I don't even know. They were able to JUST BE KIDS! It was wonderful to see!

It's been an emotionally overwhelming holiday in many ways. I'm so thankful we had 3 of our kids with us for Christmas. I pray that in some precious way we have touched their hearts this holiday with the spirit of Jesus!

Long Time No Post

2011-12-03T15:47:00.003-06:00

Wow! It is really hard for me to make time to post. When I finally have a moment, I'm too tired to put any coherent words together. So, let me see if I can do a good update without being too long-winded.

Taylor is doing well and getting more involved in many things. He is apart of a men's BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) group on Monday nights. It was very important to both of us that he get involved in some type of study, so we decided to make this a priority even though it's on a weeknight when the kids are home. My mom is able to come by and lend me a hand so that he can go and enjoy this time. He has begun leading worship at the church we have been attending. They do a song leading rotation and he's leading a time or two a month. I love that he gets to continue using that gift but also get to sit with him at times too. It's the best of both worlds. On the Sundays he doesn't lead he is usually holding Carter singing tenor into his ear. Carter loves it! Shortly after we got married, Taylor had a short stint as a tenor in a southern gospel group from east Texas. Due to many reasons, it did not work out at that time. Interestingly, it seems that it is going to work for him to sing with them again even though now we are another state and time zone away. The guys are making plans to sing occasionally while we are on relief. They may not get to sing each month, but will try to as much as they can. The group will be able to fly Taylor out for the weekend, sing once or twice, and then he can fly back for the rest of our relief. He is really excited about this possibility! I'm thankful for it as well. He NEEDS this in his life.

I am also involved in a BSF group on Thursday mornings. BSF has an incredible children's program as well, so Carter gets to go with me. He loves it, and his teachers are fabulous. They spend their time with him singing hymns and praying over him. They will also begin teaching him some simple signs. I'm so thankful to be apart of BSF. It's a weekly respite that revives and challenges me. I am hoping to begin spending a couple times a month with another young mom just as a chance for some socializing with another woman at this same stage that I am in.

As far as life here at the home-we are still trucking along. It is definitely THE hardest thing we've ever done. We have days where we aren't sure we will make it through the day, but then something happens that reassures us we are exactly where we need to be. One of the reasons we talked about doing this is the idea that God doesn't call us to do things that are easy. If it wasn't hard we wouldn't need His grace to do it.

Now about my sweet boy! Carter turned 6 months old on Monday. He is growing and changing so fast! He is such a great little boy. Easy going most of the time which is such a blessing considering all of the other craziness going on around us. He is beginning to learn that he can make the other kids laugh, so he's becoming a little ham at times. It's fun to watch. It won't be too long before we have to start telling the kids when not to laugh at him so we can teach him when he can't do something (like continually throwing food on the floor-or something like that). Here's some facts about my boy:
-14 lbs., 13 oz (10th percentile)
-26 1/2 in (50th percentile)
-his head circumference is also in the 50th percentile
-started solid food at 5 months old
-nurses 5 times a day - occasionally throwing in a 6th feeding
-3 of those times he also gets solid food
-Foods we have tried: bananas, avocados, sweet potatoes, peaches, pears, brown rice cereal, and green beans. I am making all of his food. He has yet to reject something.
-He usually makes a funny face on his first bite no matter what it is-even if he's had it several times. I don't know if he's just trying to remember which food it is, or what...but after that first bite he gobbles up the rest with no problem.
-Can roll both directions when he wants to
-Sat up by himself for a few seconds on November 27th. He is doing really well staying pretty balanced sitting with the boppy surrounding him.
-LOVES music...he will stop whatever he is doing to listen
-has recently developed a love of cuddling-more so than he ever has before. He is still SUPER wiggly, so you have to be prepared for him to jump out of your lap at any moment. But, he has recently decided he likes to lay his head down and snuggle from time to time.
-He still prefers to be put down to fall to sleep on his own, but he likes to snuggle before then.
-He is weaned from his swaddle-goes down with a cuddle blankie and a blanket on his legs
-Talks and laughs often during the day
-He is developing several different voices including a way to let you know he's frustrated. He will just yell if he's impatient-not cry-just yell. That won't fly for very long.
-We love him more and more every day!!!

Here's some pictures of my sweet little one. Once I get a few videos downloaded to the computer I will post those too.

ABCs About Me

2011-10-18T13:24:00.002-05:00

I snatched this survey from my friend, Leah. I love these things!

A. Age: 30
B. Bed size: Queen Size - it got crowded when I was pregnant, but other than that it's been just enough room for us.
C. Chore that you hate: Cleaning the bathtub. My hubby is really great at it though so we share the responsibility.
D. Dogs: Rori-4 year old, white, Shih Tzu - she was my big purchase when I was single. Love her!
E. Essential start to your day: HOT TEA with sugar and cream!
F. Favorite color: pink - my mom calls it my signature color
G. Gold or Silver: silver
H. Height: 5'6
I. Instruments you play: piano - took lessons for a total of 5 years growing up. I've lost a lot of it though
J. Job title: Stay at home wife and mom and house mom at Albuquerque Christian Children's Home
K. Kids: Carter - 4 1/2 months old, foster kids: M-17, A-15, K-13, V-12
L. Live: Albuquerque, NM
M. Mother’s name: Karla
N. Nicknames: Never really had any nicknames until I met Taylor. One of the little boys in our wedding couldn't say Kristi-he said Kiki. Even after he could say Kristi, Kiki had stuck. Taylor adopted it as well and still uses it.
O. Overnight hospital stays: After C-section with Carter - 4 nights
P. Pet peeves: Others in a conversation with me putting words in my mouth
Q. Quote from a movie: Inconceivable!
R. Right or left handed: Right
S. Siblings: Sister - Kara, Brothers-in-law - Jordan and Kevin, soon to be sister-in-law - Kim
T. Truth or Dare: Truth. I'm not a big enough risk-taker for dares.
U. Ultimate Vacation: I have no idea, actually...hmmmmm
V. Vegetable you hate: Asparagus
W. What makes you run late: I hate running late--I usually go out of my way to be ready on time. Currently though, I run late when Carter takes 45 minutes to nurse because he wants to talk to me instead of his normal 20-so I haven't left enough time.
X. X-Rays you’ve had: arm-age 10, knee-age 11, stomach-age 25
Y. Yummy food that you make: Smoked Gouda Mashed Potatoes
Z. Zoo animal: Favorite one? Monkey

Four Months Old

2011-10-05T10:37:00.003-05:00

My sweet little boy turned 4 months old last week. I cannot believe it's already been 4 months. When I go back and look at pictures from the beginning, I'm amazed at how much he's changed. We went to the doctor on Friday. He is a very healthy little boy! He's doing so well nursing and growing as he should be, that we are not going to start him on solid food until 6 months. The pediatrician assured me that he is getting everything he needs in my milk, and that there are studies showing a couple negative possibilities to starting solid food before 6 months-namely increase in allergies and increase in childhood obesity. This isn't true for all children, of course, but since Carter is doing perfectly fine with only nursing then we aren't going to rush that transition.

My biggest concern I asked the pedi about is his head. From the beginning Carter's head has been slightly flatter on the right side than left. We've tried a few things to help with this, but we were still concerned about it. The dr wants to wait until 6 months to see what changes, and then we'll determine if we need to visit a neurosurgeon (not for surgery, but most likely for a helmet). In the meantime we will be spending even more time putting Carter in the Bumbo and on his tummy to see if that will help. Not that a helmet will be the end of the world, but we'd love to avoid that if possible.

Here's a look at Carter at 4 months:
-Weight: 12 lbs. 7 oz - 10th percentile
-Length: 24 3/4 in - 50th percentile
-Head circumference: 16 1/4 cm - 25th percentile
-can roll from his belly to his back if he wants to...He's done it several times, but doesn't do it every time he's on his belly.
-has rolled once from his back to belly-no one saw it. :)
-talks and talks and talks and talks. When he's older we will have to have serious conversations about what it means to use an inside voice.
-Is just beginning to use his tongue when he's talking so that his coos are turning more into babbles and "syllables"
-has the most adorable giggle. However-he's like his mama and after just a couple minutes of hard laughing he ends up with a terrible case of the hiccups.
-he LOVES to listen to music-especially Southern Gospel. This is about the only time he is still. He is so intent in listening that we actually cannot even play music when he's going to sleep. He won't go to sleep. He pays too close attention to go to sleep-I think he has his daddy's very sophisticated musical ear.
-He's wearing most 3 month size clothes and several 3-6 months. He always grows out of clothes in length before width. I put him in a t-shirt and pants the other day instead of a onesie and his pants wouldn't stay up. :) They only stay up if he has a onesie on. This is just the beginning of saggy pants for us, I believe.
-He is transitioning from napping between every feeding to a long morning nap, long afternoon nap, and short evening cat-nap. Not every day works this way, but most do.
-Usually goes to bed 8-8:30, but still needs a feeding around 10. He goes right back down after that. He goes anywhere from 6-9 hours after the 10:00 feeding and usually goes right back down after that first feeding of the day. Basically he's sleeping from about 8-8:30pm until 8-9am with a 10 pm feeding and a feeding anywhere between 4 and 7 am. He's a great sleeper!!! I tend to think he won't drop the 10:00 feeding until we add solid food. I'm not worried about that.
-He's beginning to show signs of teething. Lots of drooling...random fussiness for reasons we can't figure out...acting like he doesn't feel good...chewing on his fingers...and a few low grade fevers. No swollen gums yet, but the beginning of this phase has begun.

He is a wonderful baby! He brings us more joy than we could ever have imagined. We are so thankful for him and so content with our family for right now. Becoming parents has been such an amazing adventure!!!

Here's some pictures from the last week since Carter turned 4 months! Taylor took a couple pictures of me and Carter on his phone the other day, but I didn't have those available. I'll have to post them later. Enjoy!

Compassion Fatigue and Pinterest

2011-09-21T17:17:00.007-05:00

I know...weird title, huh? I promise the two are related.

A month or so ago, I finally asked the Facebook world what this "Pinterest" thing was. A friend of mine filled me in, invited me to join, and into the Pinterest world I entered. Sort of. I thought the premise was really neat, but I wasn't sure how to use it. I kept putting off figuring it out.

This past weekend I was a little under the weather; so while Carter was sleeping and everyone else was at church, I laid in bed and jumped into my Pinterest page. WOW!!! I became hugely addicted. So many ideas! And, my Pinterest boards didn't have to be like anyone elses, so I could organize, create, pin, etc. in my own personal way. I L.O.V.E. that you can pin anything you see on the Internet, but also "steal" anyone else's pins for your own boards. It opened up a whole new world to me.

Pause the Pinterest story.

Part of our experience as houseparents is something called "compassion fatigue." It's a unique type of fatigue that comes from taking on the emotional stresses of our kids and their backgrounds, diagnoses, etc. If not handled well, then compassion fatigue can lead to serious burn out.

To combat compassion fatigue it is important to, of course, take care of yourself - exercise, eat right, get lots of rest, etc. It's important to find and maintain healthy adult relationships. Also-finding a creative outlet will help combat compassion fatigue!

Now to connect the two subjects: Pinterest has become my creative outlet! It is giving me something to think about, to be "outside the box" with, and to distract myself and my emotions with for a period of time. There are also several things I've found that would be fun to do with the kids- being my creative outlet as well as good quality time together. This may possibly even by therapeutic for the kids. It is a blast!!!

I decided to try to do at least 1 project a week. This may vary due to what is on our schedule or how simple/complicated the project is. Plus, some of what I've found is new recipes, so I may try more than one in a week!!

This week I tried two things. I found several printables of different types of weekly to-do lists. The way I have to maintain things around here has been a challenge for my normal type of list-making, so I am trying several different versions to see if something works best.

My second project this week was a fall decor project for our cottage. There may be another one or two more of these in the next couple of weeks, but this is where I started. Here's some pictures of the final product!!

What fall projects do you have planned?

Update and Memory Verse 18

2011-09-18T12:05:00.004-05:00

Hi all!!! Another week has gone by since I last posted. Since coming back from relief, Taylor and I feel that things have gone much more smoothly with the kids. I don't know if the kids can tell a difference at all, but we definitely can! It's beginning to feel more like home to us, and a comfortable, family rapport and environment is really taking shape. We are so thankful for that!!! Almost every day we are met with something from these kids or about their lives that is hard to wrap our minds around and deal with. But knowing we have created and are creating an environment that is safe and comfortable helps us see and feel our purpose at the Home. Here's a brief look at regular-life stuff we've done this week:

1. Math homework - last Sunday night while M was at work, Taylor and I divided up between the other two to help with math homework. Taylor worked with V on long division, and I worked with A on geometry. It was a mentally draining night for all of us. :)
2. Grilling lessons - Taylor has grilled out twice this past week and used this as an opportunity to teach V how to grill. What a great man-bonding activity!
3. Youth group activities - Sunday night devo and games and Friday night late night movie. Oh, those were the days!
4. Doctors appointments - We are getting great experience in checking kids out of school, taking them to the doctor, and getting them back to school in a timely manner. Makes for busy days!
5. Chores - what kind of family environment would it be if everyone didn't have daily/weekly chores? Our kids are great with their chores most of the time. They rarely need any reminders, and do a good job of getting them done correctly the first time.
6. Post-chore/homework chill out time with the Wii or Rock Band - of course! (P.S. - I hate rock band. The noise drives me bonkers. Oh well. :) )

Moving on - I'm late on my next Memory Verse. I was supposed to post it on Thursday. Oh well...better late than never. I am starting a Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) study this week. The verse I chose for the next two weeks is listed on the BSF website. I thought it was very appropriate and a great way to start off this next several months of study! Here it is:

Romans 15:4 NLT

"Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. And the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God's promises to be fulfilled."

And just because I think he's cute:

Have a great week everyone!!!

Sweet Relief

2011-09-09T14:44:00.003-05:00

In 4 hours, our foster children will once again enter our home and the craziness will begin again. That's not a bad thing at all. We are ready to see them, to catch up on how their weeks were, and to continue to love them as Jesus does. However, we have learned in the world of foster care, "relief" is called that for a reason! About once a month we get a week off. The kids move next door to the relief houseparents home, and we get a week of "relief." Considering this is a 24/7 job that also comes with huge amounts of compassion fatigue due to the different struggles/backgrounds of the kids, a week off a month is VERY necessary. Relief allows us to recharge, refocus, rest, spend some quality Belt family time, and engage in extra stress-relieving activities. Today marks the end of our first week of relief. Here's a snapshot of what our week looked like.

* We spent a couple nights at my parents house just to get off campus and away. It was nice to let mom cook and take a break from cooking for a little bit. I spent some time on Sunday morning reading my Bible and journaling on their back porch in beautiful weather looking at the mountains (ACCH is down in the valley by the river, and we actually can't see the mountains from where we are).
* Last Friday after we moved the kids next door, we went some friends' house for dinner. It was so nice to do something like that and have some adult time. It was a very uplifting evening for us.
* Sunday night, Taylor had planned for us to get away for a night as a belated mother's day and birthday gift for me. We left Carter with my parents and spend 24 glorious hours away-just the two of us! We went out to dinner at Standard Diner (featured on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives!) and stayed at the Hotel Andaluz in downtown ABQ. We slept in, had breakfast in bed, then did a little shopping before heading back to mom and dads'. We were so ready to see Carter when we got back, but we had a wonderful time! Carter did great on his first night without us. He was a little extra cuddly after we got back, but he wasn't upset while we were gone!
*We watched a few movies. Two old timers (Shenandoah and Friendly Persuasion) and a new one (Inception)! Inception blew our minds away. We loved it though.
*I spent a lot of time reading. I'm working my way through One Thousand Gifts right now. I really like, but have to take it slow cause it's so thought provoking. I'm beginning to be tired of it though, and ready to move on to something else. I also read through a few Real Simple magazines from my mom's stash. I'm quickly falling in love with this publication!!! I think I'm going to put a subscription to it on my Christmas list!
* Taylor and I were able to sit down and visit about what is working in our house and what isn't working. We talked about this in light of our foster kids, as Carter's parents, in our marriage, etc. Just really analyzed how this change in our life is affecting everything. It was SO nice to have time to talk through that and to know what is going really well and what we need to work on - individually and as a couple.
* We had Carter's 3 month portraits taken at JCPenney! He did SO great! They are just precious!!! I'll see if I can get some up on the Internet sometime soon.
* We went for a couple walks enjoying this amazing ABQ weather and trying to make an effort to get back into shape. We are hoping to start making a habit out of heading to the park to walk right after we have put everyone on the school bus.
* I was able to use birthday money to update my wardrobe which was wonderful!!! I felt like I was wearing the same 3 things over and over again cause that's all I had that either fit or flattered my post-baby figure. Now I feel like I have many more options.
* Oh, and of course, we slept in and took naps!

And, that's a quick glance at our week. It was a great week. We are ready to get our kids back and resume foster parenting. We did have one disappointing thing happen while we were gone. One of our kids (our 9 year old) decided to go back home. We weren't even able to say bye. We can now simply pray for him and that, Lord willing, we planted some seeds in his life. Because of this, the dynamics in our home will change slightly. We will see what it will be like.

As always, I'm so thankful to any and all of you that are praying for us. To say this job is hard is an understatement, but we know without a doubt that this is where we are supposed to be. Please continue to pray for us and our children. We really can feel your support and prayers!

Wordless Wednesday-3 months old

2011-09-07T14:05:00.004-05:00

Memory Verse 17

2011-09-01T09:35:00.002-05:00

Hebrews 4:16 from the New Living Translation

"So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most."

Thought Provoking Day

2011-08-27T22:25:00.002-05:00

It has been a very good day. In the midst of a fun day, my mind has been spinning on some events of the last couple of days. I knew when we took this position that God would be using this to make me more like Christ. The last couple of days I have been remembering the way Jesus interacted with people in the Bible and have been reminding myself to emulate him. So, please permit me to sort through my thoughts in text. I'm not sure if it will flow well or make much sense, but I wanted to share this with you.

One of the boys in our house turned 12 today. His mother had to call us to ask permission to take him to lunch. I can't imagine having to ask someone else permission to spend time with my child. It's weird being in a position where Taylor and I have the ability to tell a parent no if we feel that is best for any reason. We did not need to do that today in this situation, but it is humbling to be in that position.

This morning to wake him up we went into his room and sang Happy Birthday to him. We hung streamers from his bedroom door and wrapped his chair at the table in streamers. He was SO excited. By just a few streamers. That really put in perspective for me how materialistic society has become-I was worried a few streamers wouldn't be good enough of a celebration. I was terribly wrong. After breakfast this morning, I made his cake from a mix. He walked into the kitchen while I was doing it. He asked if I was making breakfast for tomorrow morning. It was heart breaking to me that this 12 year old has had so few birthdays celebrated (if any) that he couldn't guess that I was making a cake for him.

Later on tonight I found myself wrestling with a little anger and the feelings of not knowing how to handle a situation. We had invited his mother over for dinner. He had asked us to make steaks (after days and days of telling me he'd eat anything I wanted to make I finally got him to tell me he'd love steaks), and so we invited her to join us to help him celebrate. I'm not sure she has ever celebrated a birthday with him. I was nervous. I was nervous about whether or not the evening would be awkward...if we'd have anything to talk about. And I was fighting the urge to be angry with this woman who has treated him so poorly yet is now working to repair that relationship. There is a part of me that wants to tell her she's not allowed to. She's hurt him too many times that she doesn't get any more chances. He is deeply hurt because of her. In fact, I am not even describing my anger correctly because I can't divulge anything else about his situation.

BUT-as all of this was running through my mind the thought that joined all this was, "She is exactly the type of person Jesus would spend time with." Tonight we invited a broken woman who has done a multitude of wrongs to all of her children to sit at our table and enjoy a normal birthday meal with us and her son. We talked together. We laughed together. We celebrated her son's life together. In fact, we wouldn't be blessed with his sweet self in our house if she hadn't had him in the first place. Often times the way God works things together towards His will doesn't always make sense to me. This boy is a huge blessing to me. I'm learning much from being his foster mother. But, I would not have had this opportunity with him if his mother had not really messed up and had to put him here.

I came face to face tonight with the reality that God sent us here to minister to the parents as much as the children. I think some part of me ignored that part. I was coming to show Jesus to these children that have endured more in 5-17 years than I can even imagine in my 30 years. But, in truth, their parents need to see Jesus from us as well. Many of our children are placed here by their parents not by the state so we have regular contact with them. It is VERY difficult to sort through my feelings in order to allow my heart to be touched for the parents as much as for the children. And tonight God gave us an opportunity to sit and just be Jesus to our 12 year old's mom. Jesus ate with those that others would not so that he could build a relationship with them. Tonight we added another layer to our new relationship with his mom. I'm still scared for him...about what happens if she doesn't continue putting forth the effort to be a mom that she has just recently began exhibiting. But, that's not for me to control. My Father above is working all of that out. He has placed this child into our home to love and minister to as he tries to just be 12 and let go of his rough past. He is allowing us to have a relationship with this woman who is as much His daughter as I am. Who am I to spend time in fear when He can use me in these lives right now.

At the end of the day, our brand new 12 year old declared this to be "the best birthday he's ever had." Knowing what I know, I think that was the truth. It was simple and effortless, but the fact that his birthday was remembered and celebrated at all made it the best ever.

I'm thankful that he is now resting in his bed peacefully feeling as important as the Lord created Him to be. I'm thankful that the Lord opened my eyes tonight to how He is working and using us in this home, in these children's lives, and in the lives of their parents. I pray that my eyes continue to be opened to how I can grow more like Christ every day.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-24T22:18:00.002-05:00

So I Don't Forget

2011-08-17T09:54:00.002-05:00

While in the shower this morning I was thinking about some of the things I've observed/learned since the boys moved in on Saturday. I wanted to write some of it down so that I don't forget and thought I'd share it with you at the same time.

1. Boys eat - A LOT! I knew this, but watching it in action with my own cooking is quite something.
2. Children who have experienced hunger at some point in their life will thank you for ANYTHING you put on their plate-often times before they even eat it, then again while eating it, and then again at the end. Even if it's been years since they went hungry.
3. 17 year old boys will still laugh at things you do to make 9 year old boys laugh, but they don't want to admit that they also think it's funny.
4. Boys think baby monitors are really cool, but are bummed out that you can't make noise back in them the opposite direction like you can a walkie talkie.
5. Having two washers and dryers is a life saver!
6. Sitting down to eat dinner together can be one of the most fun parts of the day.
7. These children in my house have an instinct ability to be safe and gentle around our baby. They also make sure I know EVERY time Carter cries. :)
8. When the dishwasher is out, and you are cooking for 5 the dishes quickly take over the kitchen in a way that can be very scary. ;) This leads to the feeling of spending ALL day in the kitchen washing dishes.
9. 11 year old boys sometimes find nothing more fun than going to help out the handy man on campus.
10. Rori LOVES have little boys to play catch with and to cuddle up with on the couch at night.
11. Sometimes it's okay to have a good cry as I adjust to our new life. I've had a few of these (usually while sitting quietly nursing Carter), but am realizing that it really helps me release the emotional and physical exhaustion of this transition. Afterwards, I can come back out to the rest of the family, focus on the kids, and know that tomorrow is another day one step closer to a good routine.

And, this is just the beginning!

Memory Verse 16

2011-08-16T09:31:00.002-05:00

Yes, I missed memory verse 15. Somehow I managed to stay on top of my memory verses through Carter's birth, but not through moving to Albuquerque. Oh well...back on track now.

The day before we left Dallas, some sweet friends came over to say bye. They brought a gift for Carter and in it they included a book called Promises from God for Parents. It's a great collection of verses that are grouped by different categories. It's a wonderful resource to grab if I want to look at several verses surrounding one subject. The other day I was reading through the section on Commitment and this verse was listed. It is very appropriate for where I am right now. I am experiencing wide ranges of emotions as we settle into our new home and new life. There is not a doubt in my mind that the Lord orchestrated for us to be here, and I am so thankful for this opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus. But in moments of exhaustion while feeling unsettled I have found myself questioning if we made the right decision. This is simply a question born out of emotions (and probably hormones). My mind and heart know this is where we need to be. I'm finding myself clinging to the Lord more strongly than I perhaps ever have. With all that said, my verse for the next two weeks is from Galatians.

Galatians 6:9 NLT

"Don't get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time."

Carter Ashton is Two Months Old!

2011-07-28T09:42:00.007-05:00

I can't believe how fast time flies. My little boy is two months old already!!! He is growing so fast and is such a good boy! Here's some information about what he is doing at 2 months old:

-weighs 10 lbs. 6 oz (50%ile) - gained 1 lb, 6oz since 1 month visit
-23 1/4 inches long (60-65%ile) - grew 1 inch since 1 month visit
-head circumference is in 25%ile
-He eats 6-7 times a day. I nurse him for 5-6 of those feedings, and Taylor gives him a pumped bottle for his late night feeding.
-He is a very efficient nurser-eating in about 15 minutes. Occasionally he wants a break in the middle, but we are typically completely done feeding in 15-20 minutes.
-He typically sleeps 7-8 hours at night starting after his 10-10:30 feeding. He's been doing this since 6 weeks old!
-After he eats in the morning between 5:30 and 6:30 he goes back down for another 2-3 hours letting us sleep some more as well!
-He is really good at putting himself to sleep for most of his daytime naps. When he gets sleepy I swaddle him, give him his paci, and maybe rock for a couple minutes. Once he is calm and laid down he does the rest on his own.
-His late afternoon/evening naps he prefers to cuddle to sleep and this is his fussy time anyway.
-He is very smiley now. He has even started smiling at people that talk to him that he has never seen before.
-He is finding his voice. His coos and gurgles are becoming stronger and more frequent.
-He has started rolling over to his sides. He favors his right but has rolled to both. I think he'll be rolling over to his belly in the near future.
-He is a fun combination of a snuggler but also liking his own space. If he has been held too long (like on Sundays at church), he can be made happy by simply finding a place to lay him down and let him kick and squirm.
-After we have been out and around he really likes to be laid in his bed to kick and talk to the bears on his mobile. I think this is how he detoxes from the stimulation of extra people and new environments.
-He has a new play gym that he LOVES to lay on. One of the toys on it has a mirror, and he really likes to talk to himself. We have heard the beginnings of giggles when he talks to himself in the mirror, but that's the only time he does it right now.
-He loves to take a bath. I'm really looking forward to being able to put him in his bath chair in a regular tub once we move instead of using the sink.
-He is a big time wiggler and squirmer (has been since months before he was born).
-When I was pregnant, Carter would go still when there was music playing (or me or Taylor singing). He would kick when it would stop. We see that in person now as well. He gets pretty calm and still when there is music playing and you can tell he's listening. I often wonder if he has his daddy's musical ear that analyzes the sounds.

We love him more every day. We can't get over what an amazing thing it is to be parents and to watch our sweet child grow and change. We work hard every day to absorb each moment since he changes so incredibly quickly. This next month will be full of change for all of us, and I can't wait to see what God has in store.

May 28, 2011

June 23, 2011

June 24, 2011

June 27, 2011

20 Things I Have Learned in My Short Time as a Mom

2011-07-20T11:10:00.003-05:00

1. There is nothing more precious than your child smiling at you!
2. Catching spit up in your hand is an art.
3. The sound my little guy makes when we clean out his nose is one of the most heart-wrenching things I've ever heard.
4. Being "trapped" in stillness while nursing is a great time to pray, practice my memory verses (even saying them out loud over Carter), and talk to my boy.
5. The things that used to distract me while I would try to be productive are suddenly not distracting anymore when I know I have to make the most of the time he is asleep! If I'm very efficient I can cram a lot into that time between feedings!
6. I can get myself ready faster than I thought I could!
7. There is something so very sweet about a baby after a bath-a different kind of contentment.
8. Ceiling fans are pure entertainment!
9. Watching and laughing at the silly faces and funny sounds Carter makes is nothing but pure joy.
10. Sleeping through the night a wonderful thing.
11. Each separate grandparent thinks that everything Carter does is for them personally--SO funny!
12. Grandparents fight amongst themselves as to who gets more time with him-NOT Taylor's parents versus my parents BUT Mama K vs. Papa (my parents) and Bibi vs. Pops (Taylor's parents). HA!
13. Taylor and I have lost all priority in our parents' eyes. They call to ask only about Carter and want to see him before saying hi to us. :)
14. The washer and dryer eat little bitty baby socks-there is just no other explanation!
15. Grandmothers are good for putting the baby to sleep. Grandfathers are good for listening to stories.
16. I treasure the time that I get to sit through a church service, and will very much treasure the time when Carter is ready for the nursery. But I believe my time spent out of the service with him is just as much worship to God as the time spent in service!
17. I've always been a slave to my to-do list. That's the Martha side of me. This part of me can be negative when I let things that are more important (people, etc.) go to the side just so I can finish my to-do list. I believe having a list is a good thing. It keeps me on target and keeps me from getting distracted. BUT-as a mom I've realized that the top of my to-do list is always Carter! If I have to put laundry, cleaning, etc. to the side because he needs to cuddle or wants to play longer than I thought he would or decides to eat a little earlier then I am honoring the Lord! Mommyhood is teaching me to be more like Mary.
18. Mommyhood is also teaching me to be more like Mary in our marriage. The to-do list has to go to the wayside for that as well. Our time alone (and awake) is limited and precious-and will be even more so once we move.
19. Watching my husband becoming a dad makes me love him more every day in a way I didn't realize was possible.
20. As I was told before Carter was born, it is so true that now my "heart is 'walking' around outside of my body."

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-20T09:49:00.002-05:00

Memory Verse 14

2011-07-16T10:16:00.002-05:00

I was reading in Colossians this week, and this verse stuck out to me. I think it hits home as something good to lay on my heart as we enter this journey as house parents!

Colossian 3:12 New Living Translation

"Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience."

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-13T09:20:00.003-05:00

Wordless Wednesday on Thursday

2011-07-07T10:05:00.001-05:00

WE'RE MOVING!

2011-07-05T09:03:00.001-05:00

In my previous post, I said I would explain later why I chose Psalm 32:8 as my memory verse for the next two weeks. Well, as you read the following I think it will become clear.

Taylor, Carter, and I are embarking on a God-directed adventure as a young family. On August 1st, we will be leaving the DFW metroplex and moving to Albuquerque, NM. We have accepted a position as house parents at the Albuquerque Christian Children's Home!!! We are incredibly excited (as well as nervous) about this amazing opportunity!!!

Right before Carter was born we learned about this position. My mom is on the board for ACCH, and she mentioned that they were looking for house parents. She wanted to toss it out there believing we had the gifts to do this job. We completely blew it off. However, the idea kept plaguing both of us individually. The Lord has a way of keeping something on your heart and mind when He has a better plan than you. We began having long conversations about it. We asked lots and lots of questions. We found out all kinds of details from my mom; we called ACCH and asked one of the directors several questions in multiple different conversations. Finally we decided that we needed to pursue this. We could not stop thinking of this as an incredible missional opportunity to authentically, daily be the hands and feet of Jesus to these kids. My cousin and his wife are in the process of adopting a sweet boy from Ethiopia, and they have consistently talked about how taking care of orphans is in direct obedience to the gospel of Christ. Taylor and I have been very touched and convicted by this idea as well. This position at ACCH offers us this opportunity.

So, because I am still on restrictions due to my C-section recovery we were able to schedule a couple interviews via skype! (Isn't technology wonderful sometimes?!?!) Within a couple weeks, we had gone through the entire process and been asked to join them at the home. We excitedly accepted. School starts mid-August, so our goal is to get there, move in, go through a little training, and move the kids into our house before school starts. It's going to be a wild August, but we cannot wait!!

Here's a little about what we will be doing. The Home has 3 houses on property-2 that house children full-time, and 1 that the kids move over to a week at a time while their house parents are on relief. Each house is equipped to hold 8 children-your personal children count as part of that total. So, we will be equipped to hold 7 other kids in addition to Carter. As of right now, we will have 3 boys-ages 9, 11, and 17. That can, of course, change at any given time. We will also not necessarily always have boys-that's just how it is at this time. As you probably know, I cannot give their names nor any details about them as I learn them. We don't have many details yet about each of their situations. We do know that the kids at the Home are very much in need. Most of them are not orphans in the sense that their parent(s) are not deceased. Many have been abandoned or severely neglected. The more we learn, the more we prepare and pray for these kids, the more our hearts begin to break for them-and we cannot wait to get there and share Christ's love with them.

This will be the only job either of us holds while house parents. ACCH is only licensed to take school-age children, so during the day Taylor, Carter, and I will have time just the 3 of us. We will also have a week off a month to rest, refresh ourselves, and spend time as a family and a couple. Many people have expressed concern over us deciding to do this with an infant. Believe me-this was a HUGE part of our conversations before considering this position. In many ways we will have to view daily life like Carter already had older siblings. He will just go along with us to whatever we are needing to do with the other boys just like he would if he had older biological siblings. I admit that if Taylor had to have another job that would leave me at home caring for Carter and up to 7 more kids at the same time we would probably not have been able to do this right now. We will very much be working as a team in this endeavor-and that part is so exciting to us. We can also not get away from the fact, that immediately in his young life, we will be living out in front of Carter what it means to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Isn't that our most important job as parents anyway? There is no time like the present to start including Carter in and teaching him about what it means to be like Christ!

This decision does not come without fears or feelings of being overwhelmed at times. But, again and again in our conversations Taylor and I kept coming back to the fact that God does not call us to stay comfortable. No where in the Bible does He demonstrate that His followers can just stay where they are comfortable. He asks individuals in the Bible over and over again to follow him, instructing them to not be afraid...He will not leave us. He wants us to trust him as we do something that scares us a little (or a lot) knowing that He is the Author and Perfecter of Life! He will guide us, keep us safe, and use us to His glory-as long as we are willing to step out there and let Him!

With that being said: here we go!

Psalm 32:8
"I will instruct you and show you where to go;
with My eye on you, I will give counsel."

Memory Verse 13

2011-07-02T10:32:00.002-05:00

Love this verse! Will give more details about why I chose it later.

Psalm 32:8 Holman Christian Standard Bible

"I will instruct you and show you the way to go;
with My eye on you, I will give counsel."

One Month Check Up

2011-06-27T10:43:00.005-05:00

Carter had a one month well visit today. He is in great shape! The doctor said he looks great, has grown more than they usually ask for in a month-but not too much. I've noticed a few things that made me ask about reflux. Dr. Raine said he may be experiencing a little, but not enough to put him on medication at this time. I'm fine with that. The only "issue" he mentioned was to get him to lay on his left side a little more. Carter naturally rolls over onto his right side when you lay him on his back. His head is flattening out a little bit on the right side. Not enough to be concerned yet, but he wants us to force him some on his left so that we can avoid needing a helmet. All in all we have a very healthy, happy little boy. Here's his stats and a few pictures!!!

Weight: 9lbs even, 50th percentile (up from 7lbs, 5 oz at 5 days old)
Length: 22 1/4 in, 75th percentile (up from 20 in. at birth and 5 days old)
Head: 50th percentile

Ready for the Ranger Game-check out his cute socks!

Hanging out with Dad

Cuddling with Uncle Jordan

After Bath Time

Memory Verse 12

2011-06-16T17:29:00.002-05:00

Here's what I'm working on for the next couple of weeks. Proverbs 16:3 from the New Living Translation:

"Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed."

Learning Curve

2011-06-09T12:06:00.002-05:00

As a new parent there is a big learning curve. If you are a parent you know that. The learning curve encompasses many different areas of life. One of the most important learning curves is learning to understand and interpret the child. Here's some things I believe I have learned about Carter:

-He is really good at sleeping in his crib. He doesn't spend every nap in his crib, but many of them. And almost each sleep time at night.
-He typically eats every 2 1/2 to 3 hours and has from the beginning.
-He appears to thrive on a schedule.
-He likes some alone time already. Usually a couple of times a day we can put him in his crib, and he will lay awake looking around-often putting himself to sleep before it's all over.
-He likes his paci if he's sleepy but not usually any other time.
-He LOVES to listen to music! That's not really surprising though, is it?
-He loves to be sung too.
-He cannot concentrate on eating if he fills his diaper in the process. We must fix that issue before he can continue.
-He likes to be swaddled, but his arms need to be out.

I'm learning more and more every day. The last couple of days we've had some minor nursing set backs, so I'm working to figure out what I can do to help with that. He's a sweet, sweet boy; and we love him to pieces!

The Birth of Our Son

2011-06-03T14:39:00.004-05:00

Saturday, May 28th started out calm and peaceful in our house. Taylor was beginning to think he was fighting a sinus infection, so he ran to Care Now that morning to plead for some medicine so that he wouldn't have to wear a mask in the delivery room whenever Carter arrived. He came home and was getting settled back in when at 10:30 my water broke. So, we put our "last minute packing plan" into motion and were out the door in half an hour. My contractions had not started yet, so the 45 minute drive that Taylor had been really worried about was quite calm as both of us made phone calls to all kinds of people passing on our news.

By 11:45 I was in a room beginning the process of getting admitted and hooked up to everything. They gave me until 1:00 to get into a good contraction pattern before putting me on pitocin. It didn't happen. Onto pitocin I went. By 2:30 I was ready for an epidural. That was the best decision I made all day. :) To make a long story short the next 8 hours were a combination of trying to find a the perfect pitocin level to keep me on that didn't send Carter into distress. We went through 3 episodes with his heart rate dropping too low which resulted in much work and effort from me and my nurses to get him back where he needed to be. Each time that happened they ended up stopping my labor with a medication and then would have to restart with pitocin. Consequently, by 10:00 that night I was only 5 cm dilated. I have to stop and say at this point that this whole 8 hour experience was not traumatic on me at all. My nurses were incredible. They were so calm every time this happened even though they were extremely focused and efficient in working to keep Carter safe. Taylor was so helpful and encouraging, and because I had the epidural I wasn't in any pain through any of it. I was able to focus on the nurses instructions and collaborate with them to help Carter without having to breath through painful contractions. Sometime after 10, the doctor (not mine, it was the on-call doc) came in to discuss with us our options. She was willing to be patient and wait it out a little longer, but we all agreed it was time to go get him. While having this discussion Carter's heart rate was back at normal, so we didn't have to rush into emergency surgery. They prepped me and Taylor and took us on in.

My memory of the C-section is a little fuzzy, but as far as me it went like clockwork. When they got Carter out, they discovered the cord was around his neck and he was sunny-side up. Both of these things would have been for a very difficult delivery with the chances for an even more difficult recovery than a C-section. We were very thankful we made the decision to go ahead and go get him. When Carter came out he was blue. They quickly showed him to me over the curtain then moved him across the room to work on him. It wasn't going well. He wasn't breathing and the nurses kept saying his heart wasn't very good. I don't know how many minutes it was, but to Taylor it was forever. I was still pretty out of it to register to much fear. I do remember noticing he wasn't crying. After a few minutes, Carter finally pinked up and started breathing, but he never cried. Because of this and his very low initial Apgar score, they decided to send him to the NICU. They put him on my chest for about 1 minute to look at him, then rushed him out of there. Taylor stayed with me at that point cause I was beginning to not feel very good. They were able to get some medicine into me to help with that, but I was feeling pretty gross and anxious for a little while.
After about 20 minutes or so Taylor asked a nurse if someone could check on Carter. They called and let him know that he was great and being moved to the newborn nursery. So, in the end he was only in NICU for 20-30 minutes!

They brought Carter to me in recovery to nurse, and from what I remember we had a pretty good go of it at first. :) By 3:00 I was my room. We brought our families in briefly to see him. By 4:00 we had done another feeding and sent him to the nursery for a little bit so Taylor and I could sleep for a few hours.

The Lord blessed us so much. Carter never had another issue after such a rough start. It caused no issues with nursing or with my milk coming in. He was perfectly healthy. They told us that he was just stunned from the labor and C-section. I don't have any memories of being panicked because of all of the medicine and the surgery, but Taylor was extremely terrified for a little while. He did an amazing job of communicating calmness to me.

Though the day was very long and scary at moments, we both agree that we don't look back at his birth as traumatic. It was a blessing and a very memorable day. Our experience at the hospital was so incredibly special. We look back on that time as the perfect way to start our family!!!

Memory Verse 11

2011-06-01T17:16:00.001-05:00

Psalm 8:2 New Century Version

"You have taught children and babies to sing praises to you because of your enemies. And so you silence your enemies and destroy those that try to get even."

He's Here!

2011-05-31T07:29:00.004-05:00

There will be more pictures and posts later, but for now I just wanted to announce my little man's arrival.

Carter Ashton arrived on Saturday, May 28th at 10:47pm by C-section (labor story to be posted later). He weighed 7 lbs, 9 oz, and measured 20 inches long. He has a little bit of blonde hair with no signs of red at this point. He very much favors his daddy right now. There are certain faces he makes that will remind us of me-especially around his mouth, but he is very much his daddy's boy! More about Carter's first few days coming soon. For now, I leave you with this:

Random Thoughts Before Life as I Know It Changes

2011-05-25T10:38:00.002-05:00

This is just a series of random thoughts I want to throw out into cyber space before Carter arrives and my world forever changes.

-There are plenty of things I will NOT miss about being pregnant. Things that really aren't even appropriate for me to put out into public airways. If you've been pregnant before, you'll know what I mean. Suffice it to say, pregnancy-while beautiful and amazing-isn't always glamorous. :)

-I will miss feeling my little one move inside of me. I am at the point now where I'd like to have my abdomen back, but it is such an awesome feeling as he moves, kicks, wiggles, hiccups, and stretches inside of me. I was thinking this morning that despite the pain and discomfort it really is amazing how God created the female body to prepare for childbirth. The way that our entire body changes, adapts, and moves to make room for this child and then to birth him into the world. I will miss watching my husband be in awe of the process. Taylor is very ready for Carter to be here so that he can begin bonding in a way that I have already bonded, but there is something about a husband watching his wife through this process that is very special.

-For awhile now I've been done with advice and preparation. I am a student by nature. I like to study up on things, read, ask questions, and learn. So, for the majority of the pregnancy I have soaked up all I could in mental preparation for the changes. I've read a couple great books, taken several classes at the hospital, and of course visited with good friends and my mom. But, about a month or so ago I realized I was done with that. I had enough mental foreknowledge, and I was ready for the baptism by fire that only comes from experience. It's true there is only so much you can learn by reading and studying before you just have to do it. I'm ready for that. It's going to be new and probably difficult, but let's get on with it! :)

-I'm also tired of well-meaning advice from individuals that is not very helpful at all. I really get tired of being told, "Just wait until..." "...you are sleep deprived..." "...you try to nurse, then you'll see how hard it is..." "...your life will never be the same..." "...you will never have time for that..." "...good luck following that plan..." --- all said in a way that makes it sound like being a parent is the most terrible thing we could have signed up for. I appreciate genuine advice that helps me prepare for the reality of parenting. I do not appreciate doom and gloom put upon me about parenting and decisions we want to make. Especially from fellow Christians. This is a time to rejoice with those who rejoice...not fill our minds with negativity and pessimism. I would be naive to think this will stop after Carter is born, but I pray that I will be able to cling to positive thoughts and surround myself with those that want to encourage and lift us up during a time that will be both incredibly special and hard.

-Taylor and I were given advice by a friend last month to do everything in our power to treasure the first few weeks while the adjustment is difficult and the sleep deprivation gets heavy. He encouraged us to find ways to use the extra awake time to praise God and pray over each other, our marriage, our son, and others as well. I read in my mommy journal today about the suckings of babes as they eat is praise to the ears of God. I pray that as I am awake at 2 am listening to Carter eat that I can soak up those moments that will be so fleeting, and also praise the Lord along with Carter's sweet suckings. I pray that we can remember these sweet, newborn moments,, while exhausting and seemingly long are but a very short time. I want to use these early weeks as times to learn as much as I can about my son and pray over our future as parents. I pray that I will remember that the exhausting cycle and schedule of a newborn and my role in that cycle is to the glory of God. My most important goal as a parent during those first weeks is to provide for Carter's needs. I'm glorifying God by doing that. It will become tiresome and mundane. I will be exhausted and emotional. But, God created this process. It is to His glory, and He will sustain us through this time. I pray that I will not complain nor wish away this time too quickly, but that I will choose to glorify the Lord and bring Him praise as He carries us through the early stages of parenthood.

-While we hate it when people tell us, "Your life will never be the same." in a manner that is just plain negative; Taylor and I have admitted to mourning the end of this early era of marriage. We know life will never be the same. We are looking forward to the change and the next stage of our lives and marriage. We made this choice to start our family, and we are very excited about it. But, we do have moments when we just want to cling for a little bit longer to being just the two of us. In many ways, I think that realization has been very good for us. It has caused us to have several conversations about how to protect and encourage our marriage through our years with children at home. We want to get to the other side of parenthood-to our next set of years just to the two of us-and still know why we enjoy spending time together. We want to look forward in eager anticipation to the time when we can once again be "just us." We don't want to rush our years with children at home, but we absolutely do not want to forget the fact that the children will leave. We pledged to live together til death do us part, and it will be the two of us until that time. The children will be such an incredible part of our lives, but in the end it will once again be just us-and we want to protect that and cherish it even through these years with children at home. I'm thankful for the conversations we have had in this regard, and I look forward to finding out how we can creatively put this into practice.

Well, that's enough randomness for now. What an amazing time this is-unlike anything I have ever experienced!

Memory Verse 10

2011-05-16T10:16:00.003-05:00

Hello all!

It's time for my next memory verse. The reason behind this one is very short and sweet: I'm due to have our first child in 18 days. It's a time of so much excitement that is occasionally mixed with fear and worry. I want this verse buried in my heart in the delivery room and during the weeks that follow.

Philippians 4:6-7 NLT
"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

Back to Infusions

2011-05-10T12:20:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago, my hematologist suggested waiting a little bit to redo blood work and then determine if I needed more iron. During the break I worked to transfer us to a hematologist here in Arlington to keep us from even more long trips to Frisco. That ended up being a disaster. The Arlington office was extremely unreliable and even rude at times. So, after waiting too long, I decided to just suck it up and go back to Frisco where I was taken very good care of anyway.

We went in last Friday for blood work to check and see where my levels are. I didn't get exact numbers on the phone today, but Dr. T. does want me to receive more iron. So, I go back in for another infusion this Thursday. We will also see the dr at that time to determine how many more infusions he wants me to have.

I'm definitely ready to be done with all of this, but we are so close to Carter's due date it can't last much longer. Lord willing, I'll soon be back to my normal blood levels! We shall see. Thanks so much for your prayers!

Resurrection Unleashed

2011-05-02T12:32:00.002-05:00

I'm still processing so much from our retreat this weekend. In an effort to help process, I decided to just get on here and bullet some things that were said or talked about this weekend that made an impact on me.

-If we say we need resurrection, then we have to die because God resurrects dead things.

-There are a lot of people living like they just want Jesus' blood (like a get out of hell free card), BUT Jesus is a way of life!

-In Luke 22, Jesus looks at Peter after the third rooster crows. What face do I picture on Jesus? Is it disappointment? Is it compassion? Is it shame? Is it the same face I see on God in response to my sin?

-Jesus' Resurrection reverses the shame of the Fall in Genesis 3. He is alive, right here, right now.

-Sometimes we are living under the guilt and shame of past sin letting the guilt and shame guide our lives. So, what do we do to open ourselves up to the Power of the Resurrection that will take away the guilt and shame?

-Do I believe the resurrection is the best news for the world?

-How do we measure the fruit of the resurrection and how it's unleashed in our lives? Maybe using Galatians 5?

-In Genesis 1 and 2, the stage is set for the resurrection. The Hebrew word for "formless void" means "chaos." God created out of chaos. The God of the Resurrection is the same God that created out of chaos. He created out of chaos in the beginning and He can create out of chaos in my life right now. THAT'S the power of the resurrection!

-In John 19, we see that Jesus is buried in a garden. When Mary comes to the tomb that morning, she mistakes Jesus for the gardener. In a way, Jesus does become the gardener restoring life to the way it was meant to be. Am I willing to let Jesus be the gardener in my life?

-If I was followed around for a month, what fruit would be represented in my life that shows I'm living the power of the Resurrection?

-When we come to believe in the Power of the Resurrection, then we believe that sin, shame, guilt, cities, families, etc. will bow down to the power of God.

-Have an imagination with God so that we can dream with Him of the possibilities that He can redeem.

-What does it say about a God who would choose to descend and get into the middle of brokenness with people? There is a God who enters into the brokenness and mess of life to REDEEM IT! (If you read my Memory Verse 9, this is the other reason I chose John 1:14)

-Do you believe that God has the power to enter your life to rewrite the next _______ years of your life? To redeem what's happened in the previous________ years of your life? This is the Power of the Resurrection!

Like I said, so much to process! Biggest question right now: Am I letting the Power of the Resurrection be Unleashed in my life???

Memory Verse 9

2011-05-01T16:57:00.002-05:00

It's time for my next memory verse! During the last couple of weeks I discovered that going over my verses while I"m putting on my makeup or drying my hair is a really great time for me. I think using that time in this way is going to make a big difference in how ingrained in my brain and on my heart these verses become!

There is actually a couple reasons for this next verse. The first reason has to do with the weekend retreat we just had at our church. I am going to post my thoughts about that in the next couple of days, so I will address how it relates to this verse at that time. The second reason has to do with a lot of thought and conversation I've been having recently about being a person that is full of both grace and truth like Jesus. As Christians we tend to fall one of two directions-either fully on the side of grace that we forget to hold people accountable to the truth. Or so focused on truth that we forget to be gracious and forgiving. When Jesus came into the world, He was full of both and represented both in all his relationships throughout Scripture. I am needing to learn how to do that. So, here's the verse I am going to be learning and meditating on for the next two weeks:

John 1:14
"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."

More to come about our church retreat in the near future!

Update on Gestational Anemia

2011-04-21T10:14:00.002-05:00

Hello all!!!

I saw Dr. T. on Monday (my hematologist), and all the blood work results were back yesterday. My iron levels not only recovered from being low they are now on the high side. There's nothing wrong with that, so we are very excited to know that the iron infusions worked extremely well!!! My hemoglobin levels did not change a whole lot though. While hemoglobin levels are very tied to iron levels, mine didn't move very much because of my Thalassemia. As of right now, Dr. T. wants me to come in again next week to recheck my hemoglobin levels. Depending on what has changed in a week's time will determine whether or not he wants me to get two more rounds of infusions. I've been a little confused as to why he would recommend more iron infusions if my iron is now high and it's just my hemoglobin that's low, but he's the "blood doctor." He is trying to make all things in my blood work together to my benefit. He's still trying to find a balance in treating the Thalassemia and the anemia. Anyway, there has been much progress, and I have definitely been feeling better. Now we wait another week to see if I need to do a little more or not. As always, thanks so much for all of your prayers! We are 6 weeks away from my due date, and it's feeling very real. I'm thankful that the doctors are striving to have me in a very healthy place to deliver! Love you all!

Memory Verse 8

2011-04-14T17:22:00.003-05:00

The next memory verse is due tomorrow. We have a very busy, very fun weekend planned and I didn't want to get behind like last time. I was thinking today about all kinds of different things all while knowing in the back of my mind that I needed to choose a verse. Anyway, I was thinking about how sensitive I have become to negativity in others. It drives me bonkers and makes me angry when Christians spend SO much time focusing on the negative and complaining constantly. But, then I realized that it ends up dragging me into the negativity by spending time angry at them for their negativity. It's a vicious circle. And, that's why negativity is so awful-it's contagious. On top of that I realized how easy it is at this point in the pregnancy to focus on the less-than-glamorous, painful, and frustrating parts of pregnancy forgetting to be in awe of the miracle that's happening.

SO-with all of that rambling in my head, this verse popped in my mind. I decided it was perfect for the next two weeks. I know it enough for it to pop in my mind, but I don't have the entire thing engraved on my heart, and I would like to change that. With that said, my next verse is:

Philippians 4:8
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things."

Infusions Complete

2011-04-12T10:11:00.002-05:00

Hi all! I finished round 4 of my iron infusions yesterday! We do not know official results of how it is working yet. Dr. Trillo wanted to give this last round a full week to get into my system before doing follow up blood work. So, I go back up there next Monday to visit with him and get my blood work done. I'm praying that sometime mid-late week next week we will be told that my iron levels are looking great, and I am all clear to deliver (when Carter is ready, that is).

What I do know is that I am feeling much better. I am able to be up and around doing stuff WAY more than I could a couple-three weeks ago. I do still have some very tired moments, but the fact of the matter is that my Thalassemia is still affecting me and I'm in my third trimester. Who isn't tired during their third trimester? :) The tired I'm experiencing now is very different though than the pervasive exhaustion of a few weeks ago. One of the biggest differences is that a night's sleep or a good nap is actually refreshing now when before it didn't matter.

We are very thankful for how the treatments have worked. It was scary early on, but it has been so helpful. I'm so glad that I can be in nesting mode getting our house and Carter's room ready for him. Thank you so, so much for all of you that have be praying for me. Please keep it up as I progress through these next 7 1/2 weeks til my little man arrives!

Memory Verse 7 and Iron Update

2011-04-06T14:09:00.002-05:00

Hi all! Yes, it's April 6th, and I'm just now documenting my verse for the first half of the month. I have had a very crazy first week of the month. In fact, all of April is just nuts! It's time for me to buckle down and start making this a bigger priority cause I'm sure once my little man is here it will become easy for me to forget about this. The verse I've chosen for the next two weeks is just perfect for this time of our lives. We have so many changes coming up and so much unknown as we add to our family that I want to start engraving this on my heart RIGHT NOW! Life is about taking it one day at a time, and I need to enter into parenthood with that in mind as well!

Matthew 6:34
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I also wanted to give a brief update to how my infusions are going. I'm down 3 with one to go on Monday the 11th. About mid-week last week after my 2nd infusion I began to notice a difference. My mom came into town for several days to help me with some baby stuff and go to my church shower, and I was able to be very active the whole time she was here. I'm definitely not at pre-pregnancy energy levels, but I'm beginning to be able to do more. In the end, I'm still in my 3rd trimester and will tire out quickly; BUT I'm noticing a HUGE difference. I want to do stuff around the house or get out and run errands, and I can. I'm also finding that as I get a little more energy I'm finally able to give into the nesting I've been wanting to do. I'm working to pay really close attention to my body so that I can sit or lay down and rest if I need to, but I'm also thrilled to be more active for the time being. Round 4 will be on the 11th, then on the 18th they will check my levels and see if they are high enough for me to deliver safely. It's been a time commitment the last few weeks, but we are so excited to see it working! Thank you for your prayers!!! Keep them coming!

How Am I Feeling?

2011-03-24T12:43:00.002-05:00

I have had many ask me how I am feeling this week. The answer is not any better and not any worse-which is what I was supposed to feel like this week. It will take 2 to 3 infusions for me to begin to feel any positive results. And, of course, we didn't want any adverse reactions which I have had none. So, although I still feel exhausted and beyond fatigued this week it's kind of like saying, "No news is good news." I'm getting yet another lesson in patience and taking it one day at a time. My husband is an awesome support and so good at protecting me and making sure I am not overdoing it right now! I am able to get out and do things or be up and around to do things, but my stamina does not last very long at all. That's okay though. I am being taken care of, and I do not want for anything. Thank you so much for everyone's concern and prayers!!! We appreciate it!

Anemia Treatment has Begun!

2011-03-21T18:29:00.002-05:00

My first IV Iron Infusion was this morning. All went well! We met with Dr. T. first. He had done another set of blood work last Wednesday and wanted to go over the results with us. My iron was still very low. My hemoglobin is low but had gone up a little bit. My folic acid, B12, and D3 levels were all normal, so no shots! The infusion process took longer than we expected. Dr. T. had told us it would take about 30 minutes. Once in the infusion room the nurse told us she doesn't like to do that amount of iron in less than an hour and a half. So, we settled in for a little longer morning than planned. They hooked me all up to the IV, and then brought it the good stuff - it looks like Coke. It's dark brown. It was gross. I kept thinking that it is really weird to watch all of this dark brown stuff pumping into my veins. But, oh well. It didn't hurt. :)

I had no allergic reactions which is apparently the most common reaction; though most people don't have any reactions at all. The biggest "issue" we had was that my IV site keep aching. It turned out it was because my arm was really, really cold. They ended up wrapping my arm in a heating pad and that helped some, so we know how to fix that now if we need to. They give me Tylenol and Benadryl at the start to help with any reactions, etc. I think they do this each time. By the time the infusion was finished the Benadryl was well in my system, and I was S-L-E-E-P-Y! :) We grabbed lunch and came home, and I crashed!

So, it was a very successful morning despite being longer than we anticipated. One of the strangest things about the whole experience was sitting in a room full of people receiving chemo. It was weird to be sitting there hooked up to the same machine as them, and it was hard to think about those sweet individuals sitting there with poison pumping into their veins. I pray that all of them experience success from their treatments!

The plan is to continue this same dosage (300 mg of iron) once a week for 4 weeks - today was week 1. So, 3 more infusions, and then on week 5 I will go back in to have more blood work done to see if it brought my numbers up to where they want them to be before I deliver. That's as far as we know right now!

I appreciate all of the prayers so much. Taylor and I had been a little nervous about this since it was unknown territory. After today we are feeling much better about the actual infusions. We are still praying and need prayers that this will do what it is supposed to do so that I can have a healthy delivery! We love each of you! Thank you again for lifting us and our sweet son up to the Father!

Research and OB recommendation

2011-03-17T10:13:00.002-05:00

Hello again,

Well, we have had some time to absorb the doc's info yesterday; and we are feeling a little better about the plan. My dad sat down last night and did a lot of research regarding my situation. It turns out that gestational anemia in patients with Thalassemia is very common. While Thalassemia patients do not need iron normally (in fact it's toxic), many pregnant Thalassemia patients do. The best method for this treatment is intravenously-which is what Dr. T recommended yesterday. My grandmother is having some complications with her Thalassemia, and Dad is taking her to see a hematologist tomorrow. He's gonna try to throw in a pregnancy question and get a "back door second opinion" while he's there. :)

I also talked to the nurse at my OB's office. They like Dr. T's recommendation and assured me it is perfectly safe for me. Her main point to me was that with my iron as low as it is delivery will be very dangerous for me if we do not get my iron levels back up.

So-my iron infusions will begin on Monday morning. I'm still slightly nervous about a negative reaction, but will be praying through that between now and then. I have a little more clarity for a couple questions I want to ask Dr. T that I didn't think about yesterday, but it won't change the plan.

Thanks so much for the prayers! We really appreciate them!

Hematologist

2011-03-16T17:01:00.002-05:00

Hi all,

We made it to the hematologist today. We both left a little shell shocked. Not because there was any bad news, but just because we were a little confused. We are dealing in an area that neither one of us really knows much about, so we are having to put a lot of trust in a doc we just met today. Taylor has very little understanding of Thalassemia, obviously; and I have never had any concerns that warranted receiving extensive treatments for it. So, it's all a little outside of our experience and understanding. Because of that I may not make tons of sense. I'll try to just bullet out what we know right now and go from there.

-First of all, Carter is unaffected by all of this right now. He is healthy and strong. He's taking all of the good stuff which is why I feel lousy. :) It's a sacrifice I'm making willingly (albeit forced into) for my son. :)

-The main thing accomplished today was more bloodwork. Dr. Trillo is running another CBC along with iron studies. He is also checking my B12, Folic Acid, and D3 levels. All of these vitamin levels are affected by Thalassemia and depending on what the levels are may require me to receive some shots of any or all of these supplements. This was not surprising to me and no big deal. We should have these results on Monday.

-My understanding at this point is that my Thalassemia numbers are very low, but that I have also developed anemia which is, of course, common in pregnancy. I cannot take iron, so we were closely watching this knowing it was a possibility. It seems Dr. Trillo's top priority is to focus on the anemia. He said that what he does for the anemia will impact the Thalassemia to some extent, but will not put me at my pre-pregnancy levels. We basically have to get my levels a little more stable before I can deliver and then after Carter is born my body will recover on its own to my own normal levels. Now, this is what I believe he was saying his priority was. We both left a little unclear on this. We are going to try to nail this down a little better in the next couple days.

-Dr. Trillo's other recommendation for me is to receive IV Iron in 4 separate infusions over the next 4 weeks. We would go to the office once a week for them to infuse 250 mg of Iron that is also laced with B12. This sent red flags up for me from the get go because I have always been told do not take iron, do not take iron. But, I also haven't ever been anemic. One of the reasons for this recommendation is that my body will use it better by IV than it would by an oral supplement. He said the dosage he is recommending is safe for my Thalassemia but needed because I'm pregnant and anemic. So, I'm having to have a lot of trust with this because he is the doctor. :) I did ask why this option instead of a blood transfusion. A blood transfusion would carry 300 mg of Iron, but his concern with that route has to do with introducing me and Carter to foreign red blood cells. He doesn't want to unnecessarily compromise Carter's blood supply or develop antibodies in me that could cause a poor reaction should I ever need an emergency transfusion. I think we are dealing with some very interesting variables when trying to get my levels up while still maintaining a safe environment for Carter. He was taking all of that into consideration with his recommendations.

-Dr. Trillo also mentioned that this plan will not have an immediate effect...that's the reason for 4 weeks of infusions, and I will need blood work to monitor progress as we go. He agreed with my OB that we need my levels up before I deliver. There will still be a possibility of needing another round of treatment of some sort when I deliver, but we will figure that out later.

So, that's the info we got. Taylor and I left with some questions. We talked to my dad some who also has Thalassemia and has spent more time talking to hematologists than we have. I also am really feeling the need to visit with my OB before the first infusion. I have a call in to them, and hope to get their opinion tomorrow. We are both a little nervous since this is completely new territory. I'm nervous about a reaction to the infusion, but also aware that this may be our best option for helping me feel better. We are so thankful that this is not a serious issue. It will in many ways fix itself once Carter is here and my body recovers from delivery. It's just something that needs to be addressed at this time to help me get through the next 11 weeks. We are very thankful that Carter is healthy and continues to grow as he should. All in all, it was an informative afternoon even if a little confusing. We hope to have a little more clarity after talking to my OB and getting the blood work results from today. My first infusion is for now scheduled for Monday morning.

That's a long update, but I knew some of you would want to know the details so you could be praying specifically. We appreciate your prayers. For now, please know that I am fine besides extreme fatigue. Taylor is doing a wonderful job of filling in around here when I just can't stand up anymore. He's an incredible support to me, and I'm so thankful he's the one on this journey of life with me! Thank you for your prayers!!!

Memory Verse 6 with Pregnancy Update

2011-03-15T14:02:00.004-05:00

Hi all,

For this memory verse I decided to go with something that I sort of already have memorized. I chose a different version so that a slight change in wording would force me to concentrate even more on the message of the verse. Here's the verse from the Holman Christian Standard Bible:

Philippians 4:13
"I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me."

My reasonings for going with a more simple verse this time are two-fold:
1) I did not do a very good job of working on my memory work for verse #5. I am no where near close to having my Psalm 119 passage committed to memory, and I need to a little more time with it. By doing a simpler verse this time I can still dedicate good time to my last passage.

2) I got a call from my OB yesterday that I need to see a hematologist regarding some blood work. I have a blood disorder (I think I've mentioned that before.) It's called Thalassemia. At its basic level it affects the amount of oxygen that my red blood cells carry. I'm sure there are more intense medical explanations to it, but that's the basics. Throughout my life all I have needed to do to address my disorder is to take extra Folic Acid and B12. These two vitamins help increase the amount of red blood cells I produce therefore allowing my blood to have more oxygen. Without these vitamins I end up feeling very tired and a little flu-like. So, it's a simple fix that as long as I keep taking my vitamins I barely realize I have a blood disorder. Being pregnant makes this very different though. As part of Thalassemia, I am not allowed to take Iron. I'm not totally sure of the reasons why other than that my body can't process synthetic iron very well and I end up with a toxicity of iron if I do. So, my prenatal vitamin is without iron. We have closely been monitoring my hemoglobin and iron levels throughout the pregnancy. My hemoglobin level has gradually lowered throughout the pregnancy, but not to a point we were concerned about. Yes, it made me more tired, but it wasn't a concern. My iron levels had been fairly normal the entire time.

Having said that, I had blood work done last week and everything changed. My iron levels are low and my hemoglobin levels are lower than they have ever been in my life. Not at a dangerous level that would affect Carter, but at a level that would not be healthy for me at delivery. These levels explain why I my fatigue keeps getting more pervasive and why I am starting to sleep longer and longer hours without feeling rested. Anyway, we are going to see a hematologist tomorrow for him to help us decide how to fix this. I can't take iron, so that is not an option. This dr may have several options for us, I"m not sure. I know that one (maybe the only ? ) option will be a blood transfusion to try to get some healthy red blood cells in my body. We shall see what he says tomorrow.

So, what does this verse have anything to do with my blood? Well, I'm fighting a little worry in this situation. I know Carter is fine, so that's not my concern. I'm worried about having energy to finish preparing for him and to care for him when he first gets here. If my levels are this low already, what will it be like when I deliver? Obviously, that's why we are seeing a specialist-cause he will be able to walk us through this and monitor me through these final 11 1/2 weeks. But, it still makes me nervous a little. I also find myself worrying about what if the drs decide I need to cut even more out of my schedule and just rest. Mentally that's a little overwhelming to me right now. I am redirecting my thoughts right now to not think about this until we get more info tomorrow. Obviously my top priority will be to take care of me and Carter above all else. Laying in bed last night this verse came to mind, and I thought that making it my verse for the next two weeks might be extremely important for me mentally and emotionally as we figure out what to do about my blood levels and consequently my energy levels. So, Philippians 4:13 it is! God created me to have babies. I truly believe that. He also knew I would have Thalassemia. So, bad blood levels or not, He will equip me with what I need to end this pregnancy strong and start life as a mommy in a healthy way.

So, what verse is important to you right now?

Memory Verse 5

2011-03-01T22:39:00.002-06:00

Short and sweet this time cause I"m too tired to tell you right now why I've picked this Scripture. I'll blog about that later.

Psalm 119: 10-11

"I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you."

2011 Memory Verse #4

2011-02-15T18:01:00.003-06:00

I read this verse in a Mommy-to-be journal that my mom gave me for Christmas. It was in a section about preparing your heart as you enter into mommyhood. I really liked it, and thought that in many situations I need to be reminded that God knows all my secrets. :)

Psalm 44:21 NIV
"Would not God have discovered it, since He knows the secrets of the heart?"

24 weeks

2011-02-14T13:01:00.003-06:00

Here's an updated picture of me and Carter that we took last Friday. Carter is measuring close to two weeks ahead of schedule right now. That could be because he had an early growth spurt, or he could be a big boy. We will see as time gets closer. We are both healthy and doing well. Last Monday, we went in for an ultrasound and fetal echocardiogram. At this point, Carter's heart looks fantastic, and there is no reason to do further testing right now. We doubt anything will be needed later besides the normal close listening with the stethoscope that the pediatrician will do. He's getting stronger every day playing all kinds of games inside of me. Daddy says he's practicing running the bases. :) We are about to begin purchasing furniture and getting the nursery started. It will not be elaborate right now since we are moving at the first of August (not away-just into a rent house). But, when there are pictures to post, I will get those up! We are getting even more excited and anxiously awaiting to hold him. It's definitely beginning to feel close now. Sometimes scary, but mostly exciting. We love this new adventure!

Questions from a Pregnant Mama

2011-02-06T17:07:00.002-06:00

Here's a little look into my mind as I think about my little boy:

Will he have blue eyes?
Will he have blonde hair or red? (Both grandmothers are red headed)
Will he look more like Taylor or more like me?
What will his smile look like?
What will his laugh sound like?
What will be his favorite color?
Will he have his daddy's AMAZING musical ear?
Musically, will he be an instrumentalist? A vocalist? Or both?
Academically, will learning come easily for him or will he have to work harder for success?
Will he like to read?
What of my positive qualities will he inherit?
What of my negative qualities will he inherit?
What will he want to do when he grows up?
Will he be a fussy baby with happy times or a happy baby with fussy times?
Will he take quickly to nursing and following a schedule?
What will he do that makes us laugh?
Will he be a good traveler making it easy to visit grandparents in Lubbock and Albuquerque?
Will he be long and skinny for years and years like his mom and dad-making it difficult to find pants that fit :) ?
What will his little boy self be most fascinated with: cars, planes, dinosaurs, baseball, football, etc?
Where will we see his creativity the most?

I could go on and on and on. There's all kinds of more serious questions as well, but I was dreaming about these today. I can't wait to meet my little guy!

2011 Memory Verse #3

2011-02-02T08:56:00.002-06:00

I'm currently working to discipline myself to read through the Bible this year. I have a One Year Bible that is passages from the OT, NT, Psalms, and Proverbs every day. It helps get through the tedious parts of the OT. This passage in Psalms was part of one of the early days, and I just really wanted to spend some time with it. There is a fantastic song based off of this passage that we actually used in our wedding. I am looking forward to reading through this and meditating on this passage the next couple weeks so that I can carry it even closer to my heart during this big time season change in our life.

Psalm 3:3 NIV
"But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head."

21 weeks, 1 day

2011-01-22T20:48:00.003-06:00

I'm just a little past halfway. Besides being exhausted most of the time, I feel pretty good. I'm able to get stuff done in little spurts around resting, and I'm very thankful for that. We are busy trying to get registered for what we need, putting money away to buy the nursery furniture, and all the other plans that have to be made to welcome a child into the home!

Carter is moving around like crazy. Taylor has felt him once. He doesn't always kick hard enough to be felt on the outside, even though I can feel him often! Taylor is really looking forward to when Carter will move a lot while Taylor talks or sings to him. Shouldn't be too long now!

That's just a quick, simple update. And, here's my 21 weeks, 1 day picture:

2011 Memory Verse 2

2011-01-15T18:33:00.003-06:00

This weekend was the Regional Rally for Premier Designs-the company I sell jewelry for. It's so much more than selling jewelry, and maybe in another post I will describe more about the amazing opportunity Premier is in my life. But, this post is about my memory work. Each year at Regional Rally a Bible verse is announced to be the verse of the year for the company. Just a little over a month ago, Premier lost one of its co-founders, Joan Horner. It was decided that for 2011, in honor of Joan, her favorite verse would be used for the 2011 Verse of the Year. This verse is what I have chosen for the next two weeks to spend time meditating on and memorizing.

Psalm 34:1,3

"I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise will continually be on my lips. Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt His name together."

How Pregnancy is Preparing Me for Motherhood

2011-01-11T13:30:00.002-06:00

There are two main things recently that have been running through my head. I really believe these two lessons I've been learning during my pregnancy will transfer into motherhood. Hmmm...wonder if God designs it that way. :)

1. Take it one day at a time! When my morning sickness hit me halfway through week 5, it literally knocked me flat out of nowhere. One minute I was fine, and the next I was sick, sick. I quickly learned not to over plan. One day at a time was very important. Some days I could get up and do something, but some days I couldn't. I had to quit worrying over what wasn't happening and focus on what was happening. Something tells me that one day at a time plus the patience that comes with that will be very important as a mother.

2. Rest when I can! Being pregnant for me means that I sleep--A LOT! Because of a blood disorder that I have, I did not get a massive relief of fatigue once I hit my 2nd trimester. I've also learned that if I try to ignore I have a blood disorder and need to rest, then I feel sick like my 1st trimester all over again. So, I have to honor my body's need for rest so that I'm taking care of me and the baby to the best of my ability. I can only imagine how important this will be especially right at the beginning. I will be a better mom and wife if I rest often at the beginning when sleep is so sporadic. This will also go hand in hand with taking it one day at a time.

2011 Memory Verses

2011-01-01T13:47:00.002-06:00

Last year I attempted to memorize 2 verses a month throughout all of 2010. I made it through May, but fell apart after that. :(

I'm going at it again this year with the accountability provided by Beth Moore and Living Proof Ministries. On Living Proof's blog, you can find the challenge to memorize 2 verses a month for the entire year. You can post your verses on their blog and encourage others that are participating! I'm really excited to dig into this again.

With Carter coming in 5 months, I chose these two verses to start off my year:

Gen 30:20 "God has presented me with a precious gift"
Jer. 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart."

Happy New Year! May your 2011 be filled with truth from God's word!

Surprise!

2010-12-10T18:31:00.004-06:00

We got a great surprise today that just made our day and our Christmas! I am 15 weeks along today, so we have known that we had 4-5 more weeks before we could find out if we were having a boy or girl. As you know, 3 weeks ago we went to see a specialist to check for genetic disorders. While there, the sonographer made a prediction that we would have a boy; but we kept that under our hat. Today, my OB asked us if the specialist had made a prediction. We told her yes, a boy; and she asked if we wanted her to take a peek. YES! Of course! So, she did, and with a little wiggling around from her HE moved around and let us take a peek. He is for sure a boy! :) We are going to name him Carter Ashton! We are so excited to know! So excited to call him "him" or "Carter" or "Little Man" or anything else boy-ish. And, so excited to start planning the nursery! Baseball/Texas Rangers theme-here we come!!!

Before leaving for the doctor we snapped this 15 week belly shot!

Labor of Love

2010-12-08T12:19:00.003-06:00

This holiday season I have found myself a little more reflective than usual on Mary as she carried and birthed Jesus. Something about being pregnant has made me really think about how her situation differs from mine, and if I'm feeling so many different things what in the world must she have been feeling? And then, while working today, this new song from Point of Grace captured my attention. On Monday night we toured the hospital where we will be delivering our precious child. It's a beautiful, pristine Women's Center that strives to make moms and dads feel comfortable and at-home through the entire experience. Listening to this song, I am reminded that Mary's experience was far from what mine will be. It makes the scary part of labor and delivery not so scary when I think about what she went through to deliver the Savior of the World!

Labor of Love by Point of Grace

It was not a silent night
There was blood on the ground
And you could hear a woman cry
In the alleyways that night
On the streets of David's town
And the stable was not clean
And the cobblestones were cold
And little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
Had no mother's hand to hold

It was a labor of pain
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love

Noble Joseph at her side
Calloused hands and weary eyes
There were no mid-wives to be found
On the streets of David's town
In the middle of the night
So he held her and he prayed
Shafts of moonlight on his face
For the baby in her womb
He was the Maker of the Moon
He was the Author of the Faith
That could make the mountains move

It was a labor of pain
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love

For little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
It was a labor of love.

It was not a silent night
On the streets of David's town.

12 weeks pic with silly face

2010-11-19T14:41:00.002-06:00

Baby B Update

2010-11-16T14:32:00.002-06:00

Hi all,

Just thought I'd do a quick update on me and Baby B. Things are going really well. At 11 1/2 weeks along I find each week that I am feeling a little better. Taking only 1 pill first thing in the morning to help with the nausea and eating much better! We went in last Friday for a checkup, and the baby's heartbeat was good and strong at 168 beats per minute. That is just a precious sound that does my heart so much good! My belly has popped. Actually, it popped pretty early-during my 9th week. There is something nice about looking pregnant and not just feeling pregnant, but it also takes some getting used to as my body seems to change every few days. I will begin posting regular belly shots in a few days. Taylor and I have narrowed down our name choices, and are anxiously awaiting mid-January when we find out what we are having and can officially name our child. We are so excited that in just a few weeks the baby will be able to hear us. Much singing to, talking to, and even reading to will begin in the near future! Hopefully in another month or so, I will begin feeling sweet little flutters of our baby moving around!

We are going to see a perinatal specialist on Monday (the 22nd). We elected to do the genetic screening that screens for indicators of Downs Syndrome, Trisomy 18, and a couple other genetic disorders. We have no fears that this will be the case, but if it is we would like to prepare for how best to take care of our baby if that is the situation. While doing this screening, they will also do a detailed look at the baby's heart. Many of you know that Taylor had a birth defect that was not discovered until he was 19 resulting in him needing to have major open heart surgery at 19 in the middle of his sophomore year of college. It is unlikely that his condition is hereditary, but because of his history we are taking a few simple extra steps to monitor the baby's heart. If for some reason Baby B has the same problem it is a much simpler fix now with a minimally invasive surgery instead of open heart. The screening on Monday will help give us some details, and a pediatric cardiologist will do an exam after the baby is born. Neither of us is worried about this, and we are very thankful and encouraged by how our doctor is helping us prepare and educate ourselves. We are actually really looking forward to Monday cause this screening is really a high tech sonogram, so we will get to see the baby. I think it will be very fascinating as they take very detailed looks at several different parts and major organs in the baby's body documenting exactly how everything is right now.

Anyway, that is a brief update on how things are right now. We are beginning to make preparations for taking some classes at the hospital, reading some books, early choosing of items for the nursery even though we aren't ready to buy, and praying lots! It's so incredibly exciting even when at times a little overwhelming. But, that's okay. We are very ready and are delighting in each step of this process!

Inspiration

2010-10-30T17:19:00.003-05:00

Pretty much since we were engaged it has been known that should we ever have a boy the nursery will be a baseball theme-specifically Texas Rangers. In the little bit of looking I've done so far, I have found several cute blue and white crib sets that could easily be paired with baseball-themed decorations. It's all very exciting.

That being said, I have been lacking inspiration for a girl's nursery. I always thought I would find it easier to come up with a girl's nursery than a boy's. Tis not true for me.

Until today.

I went to a training today for my business, and while walking through the snack line I was hit with my inspiration. It came in the form of a napkin. Yes, a napkin.

Here's the napkin we used today:

Isn't that so much fun!!! I don't know yet what I'll do with it, but it's definitely my inspiration!

We won't know whether Baby B will be boy or girl until mid-January, but I am SO excited to have inspiration in either direction that I can run with.

Coming Soon to the Belt Home

2010-10-17T12:09:00.004-05:00

Baby B will be making his/her debut around June 3, 2011!

Update on Fall Into Reading 2010

2010-10-12T18:22:00.002-05:00

So I'm not off to a fantastic start for my Fall Into Reading 2010 list. Here's where I stand:

I took Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix off the list. I just decided I didn't want to go back to #5. I've read 1-5 enough that I didn't feel the need. So, I scratched it off the list and moved on to #6. I have since finished #6 and started #7.

I'm abandoning Screwtape Letters. I cannot get in to the writing style on this book. It does not hold my interest, and I don't feel myself excited to pick it up to read. I have this rule that if I'm not looking forward to reading something, then I don't read it. I'm not sure why, but I feel like it's my prerogative as a reader. Having said that, I'm not holding out much hope for The Four Loves, but I will give it a go.

So, just a few weeks in, and I've already scratched 2 books off of my list of 10. Hmmmm...I'm gonna keep reading, and maybe I'll add a few extra in the end. :)

Happy Reading!

Fall Into Reading 2010

2010-09-18T22:18:00.016-05:00

So, a friend sent me the link to this blog the other day because she knows my taste and thought it would be something I would enjoy. I immediately loved it. The author is doing a fabulous fall activity on her blog that she is inviting others to join. It's called Fall Into Reading 2010. I'm making a list of books I'd like to read during the autumn season-from September 22nd until December 20th. I will be posting my progress along the way and then do a final update in December. The following is my list of 10 books. I might read more than this, but I just discovered this blog and tossed a list together very quickly without much time to pursue additional interests. Enjoy! (Please excuse my inability to line up my book pictures with the words. I need some work with that!)

1) Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling - I have read all the Harry Potter books multiple times. Because the first part of the seventh movie is coming out in November, I decided to reread the last 3 of the series to refresh my memory.

2) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling

3) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling

4) Jane Austen Ruined My Life by Beth Pattillo - Taylor and I recently when to get our new library cards now that we are in Arlington, and while we were there I was looking through the new book section. A book called Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart caught my attention. I checked on the computer to see if it was part of a series. This book was listed by the same author, but it did not appear to be part of a series. I picked up Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart, read it, and LOVED it! I decided I wanted to try out this book as well, so we'll see how it compares!

5) The Shack by William P. Young - I read this a few years ago when it was still pretty new. I really enjoyed it, but have recently been wanting to revisit it. I thought this fall reading activity was a great time to do just that!

6) Sabrina by Lori Wick - I'm currently reading a book called Cassidy by Lori Wick. Lori Wick has long been a favorite Christian fiction author of mine. The Big Sky Dreams series is one of hers that I have never read. Therefore I added Sabrina and Jessie (see below) to this list so that I could finish the series.

7) Jessie by Lori Wick

8) The Sweetgum Knit Lit Society by Beth Pattillo - While looking for some books to add to this list, I googled this author to see what else she had since I liked Mr. Darcy Ruined My Life. Honestly, this book is on here purely because I like the title. The title is too much fun, and it's apparently about a group of ladies that love literature and knitting. I really like that premise, so I could not help but add it to the list.

9) The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis - This book and the next book are on my list as sort of a challenge. I've never read C.S. Lewis. I own 3 or 4 of this books, but have never read them. It was time to change that, and I wanted to use my fall reading list as accountability to get out there and read something new and different!

10) The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis

Fall Ideas

2010-09-13T09:55:00.003-05:00

Hello to my fabulous blog friends! I am looking to have some of your creativity rub off on me! I have a little cash set aside that I would like to use for fall decorations this year! I've never done fall decorations before, but I'd really like to. I'm not really into Halloween, so think just regular fall-that will take me all the way until Christmas decorating time! I would also love new and different ideas aside from carved pumpkins and wreaths on the door--love those ideas, but I already know them! I thinking about stealing this idea from my friend Jennifer! It's super cute!!!

Anyone else have any other fun fall ideas?

Mental Wonderings

2010-09-07T14:37:00.002-05:00

The following are the random thoughts in my head today. Enjoy!

1) I had my second FriendSpeak session with Julia on Sunday. I have no idea if we made much, if any, progress with her English skills, but I got her to smile. :) That was worth the hour long session to me!

2) I think I need a creative outlet. Let me back up: I love being a stay-at-home wife. I feel productive and purposeful in our home. Between housewife and jewelry lady duties most of my days stay comfortably busy. But, there is an "ache" of sorts that I cannot diagnose. At first glance, one would think it's boredom. No, I'm not bored. What I keep landing on is a need to be creative. I do know how to crochet, but I am notorious for not finishing these projects that I start. I'm being cautious about starting another crocheting project for fear that once again I won't finish. Anyway, I'm doing some soul searching about what kind of creative project I might be able to do that will have purpose as well as satisfy my small inner "ache."

3) I think I'm going to start doing more book recommendations here on my blog. I've made recommendations in the past, but always focused on what I was reading for pleasure-mainly adult literature. But, since my background has left me with a fabulous library of children's and young adult literature I thought I might focus there. That way any mom's reading my blog might hear of a book or two they were not previously aware of that could be a possible choice for their child/family. So, be watching for this in the future!

4) The Christmas budget has been set! I have started perusing stores for gift ideas! I LOVE shopping for Christmas gifts! It's just so much fun to find something you think someone else will love! Let the fall and shopping season begin!

FriendSpeak Experience #1

2010-08-30T14:27:00.002-05:00

Well, yesterday was the day that I "jumped off the cliff" and started participating in the FriendSpeak ministry. It ended up vastly different than I imagined. First of all, I was expecting to be matched with a college age student. I was also expecting to be placed with someone who knew English and is simply wanting to strengthen their skills and pronunciation--because that's the majority of who comes. Instead, I was placed with a terrified 7th grade girl who is simply here for 6 months (beginning in June) because her mom wants her to learn English-and she knows none. Whew! I immediately abandoned the FriendSpeak material that uses the Gospel of Luke, and tracked down some books from the preschool library at the church. Through our time together and conversations with her cousin, I was able to learn that she can read English fairly well; but she is only pronouncing it. She doesn't know what any of the words mean, and she doesn't know any conversational English. My job? To teach her conversational English in the next 4 months before she returns to China. I have absolutely no idea how to do this. But, my heart is so burdened for this young girl. She is terrified. She just sat through the first week of 7th grade probably without a clue as to what is going on around her. My guess is she's a sweet girl that has many thoughts and ideas to share but she's trapped in an environment where she cannot share them. I know this is a proven method of second language acquisition, but I am at a loss as to how to help! I'm praying fervently that God will open a way for us to learn to communicate with each other. I'm going to do some research on how to teach beginning conversational skills. We can read books all day long where she can use the pictures to tell the meaning, but that won't do her any service to make any friends at school in the next 4 months.

Needless to say, this is going to be an adventure. Whatever comes out of it, I pray simply that God will let me be an encouragement and blessing to this young girl.

Because it Scares Me

2010-08-23T10:57:00.003-05:00

Now that the moving craziness is over, and the last two weeks we have found a fabulous new routine to our new life's chapter-the Lord is beginning to press many things upon my heart. Actually, I'm beginning to wonder if He's always been pressing these things on my heart, but I've just been too busy to pay attention. I'm not going to go into all of them today. Some of them are still so deeply personal that God and I just need to commune about them right now on our own. But, I do want to share one of them.

We received a church email last week regarding the FriendSpeak ministry that some in our congregation participate in. If you are not familiar with FriendSpeak, here's a quick synopsis: This is a ministry designed to teach individuals how to speak English using the Gospel of Luke. Most, if not all, of the individuals involved in this come from a country of Oriental origin. Most of the individuals our congregation works with are students at University of Texas at Arlington. I have always found this ministry fascinating. The goal is not to convert these sweet people, but simply to build a relationship by teaching English using the Bible. However, the "side effect" is often lengthy conversations about Jesus Christ, and many of these individuals begin exploring their own personal relationship with Him. So, back to this past week:

We received an email asking for more volunteers because UTA starts back in session this week, and it's time to be ready for these hungering students. Immediately, I realized I have the time for this now (which I always used lack of time as my excuse while I was teaching). I first thought, "I could do this." Almost immediately another thought crossed my mind, "Well, maybe I should wait and volunteer next semester instead. That way I can see how things are going to look with the college ministry. We are still so up in the air about how busy we will be with those students, and I don't want to over commit myself." I felt good about this thought process. Over committing yourself is not a great God-quality. Cause then your yes can't stay your yes...etc, etc. And, I don't want to wear myself out cause then I can't give 100% to the things I am involved in. So, I decided to go with this thought process, but run it by Taylor as well just for his confirmation. Here's how that conversation went:

Me: I was thinking about doing FriendSpeak.
Taylor: Me too.
Me: I think I'm going to wait until the Spring though.
Taylor: Why?
Me: Well, we don't know what the college ministry is going to look like, and I don't want to over commit myself and not be able to help you out.
Taylor: It's only an hour a week. We just won't schedule any college activities during that time.
Me: oh, okay. (left to my swirling thoughts)

So, just like God designed things in marriage to sometimes be - my husband, unknowingly, set me straight. My real reasons were not fear of over-commitment. There really is plenty of time in my life right now. It's true I want to use it wisely and give my best to everything unlike what I was able to do while teaching, but that was a dumb excuse in this area. Basically, I'm scared. Not of teaching someone to read in English. If you know me at all, you know I'm qualified for that! I'm terrified about what kinds of questions regarding my faith that I might be asked. I don't like doing things I'm not 100% prepared for...with 100% the "right"/"best" answers ready. Well, that's not what God calls me too. Cause He is the Answer, the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Therefore, I'm going to go build a relationship with a Taiwanese student that has a need that I can meet. I can meet the need this student will have to strengthen their English reading/speaking skills. This is his/her cup of cold water that I can give! God will take care of the rest of it if I just continue to be obedient to Him! Throughout the Bible He simply encourages us to build relationships! Through that relationship, He makes the sharing of the Gospel happen! So, pray with/for me on this journey. Taylor will be doing this as well. We begin this coming Sunday at 4:00 in the afternoon! I'm very excited, but yes, a little scared. But, once again, in the quietness of this new chapter of my life, I firmly believe God is calling me to this!

Always, Sometimes, Never

2010-08-16T19:52:00.004-05:00

I saw this type of post on my friend Amy's blog the other day. Thought I would join in on the fun!

I Always...
...drink a cup of hot tea in the morning.
...put Carmex on before turning out the light and before getting back in bed after a middle of the night potty run.
...buckle my seatbelt.
...start a new book when I finish one cause I have to be "in the middle" of a book at all times.
...am a picky eater.
...like chocolate.
...eat breakfast.
...pull the shower curtain closed after a shower so the liner doesn't mildew.
...take a bath/shower before bed and again in the morning.

I Sometimes...
...play Wii with my husband.
...listen to a CD or the radio in my car.
...like to eat Mexican food, but not very often!
...enjoy going golfing with my husband so I can drive the cart.
...wish I could be a physical therapist, occupational therapist, or speech pathologist in another lifetime.
...have a good sense of direction.
...choose not to make the bed.

I Never...
...like to sweat.
...like flying!
...like rap or heavy metal music.
...get tired of shoe shopping...okay, clothes shopping, in general.
...get tired of hearing my husband tell me he loves me.
...like to have my feet tickled.
...regret buying my sweet dog, Rori.
...like Chinese food.

I'm sure there are more, but that's all my brain is thinking about for now! :) What about you?

Behind

2010-08-10T13:14:00.003-05:00

So, I'm WAY behind in blog world. If you are a Facebook friend then you know the moving drama we have experienced and therefore understand the said blog behindness. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you will just have to wait a little longer. :) I am almost completely settled and will then get back to blogging about all the crazy and wonderful things happening in our life! :)

Random

2010-06-30T13:04:00.004-05:00

Here's some random pics of the beginnings of the moving process. In one of them you can tell that Rori is a little unsure of what is happening and why these boxes are crowding her favorite place to lay down! On another note, I am wanting to make these Pillow Cookies that I found on the Bakerella blog. All I can say is, "YUM!" I think I will make them for our 4th of July get together. I'll let you know how they turn out! Without further ado...here's the pics:

Excitements and Sorrows

2010-06-23T17:32:00.005-05:00

These days I am finding myself in a complex emotional state: I'm dying to move, but I'm dreading moving-all at the same time. I'm so ready to get there and be closer to where Taylor works, where the majority of our social life is, and where we will be ministering! I'm dreading packing and moving in the heat. Every move is pretty much this way. Full of excitements and sorrows.

Things I Will Miss About Our Current Place:
-This was our first place together. Because of that, it will always hold a special place in our hearts.
-garden bathtub
-walk-in closets
-big bedrooms
-fireplace
-the fabulous area all around the apartment complex
-the wonderful office staff

Things I'm Really Excited About Our New Place:
-LOTS of windows
-a huge kitchen
-beautiful laminate wood floors
-my own office that's not part of the guest room
-an aMaZiNg, big laundry room
-1.3 miles from the church
-not living on the 3rd floor
-everything is brand new
-a great storage space under the stairs

Despite the few sad "goodbyes" I'm beside myself excited and can't wait to get on with the move!!!

Random Observations

2010-06-21T18:46:00.003-05:00

-With this job change, my husband comes home tired but happy (not grumpy); and gets up in the morning energized and excited to go to work. It's fabulous.

-Taylor told me the other day that he loves me being a stay-at-home wife. He said I'm happier, more relaxed, less grumpy, and small issues stay small issues and don't become overwhelming problems.

-I like doing at least one load of laundry a day. It doesn't get overwhelming, and it is always something I can count on getting done in a day. This may change when we have kids...I may flip to an all-laundry-in-one-day gal, but for now I'm liking this.

-My house is staying cleaner and more picked up, and that makes me feel really good.

-I am getting the luxury of being really creative with my jewelry business. I L-O-V-E it!

-This new schedule is freeing up all kinds of time to be servants at a moments notice. I love being able to say, "Yes, I can help out with that. When do you need me?"

-Taylor and I have energy to get out and do stuff together instead of just having "date nights at home." We aren't too exhausted to get out and about and just enjoy being together away from the house.

That's just a small sampling of some of the fabulous things I am discovering about the joys of this new season of our lives. More to come later, I'm sure.

Yea!

2010-06-19T13:16:00.002-05:00

I was finally able to get my blog updated in a way I liked it. I still don't think I'm doing the banners "correctly." I can't get the banners to download, so I end up saving them as images and adding text boxes. Then I can link it into my blog as a picture. I'm sure that is the most complicated way to do it, but that's how I am able to get it to work and look cute! I love it now! A new look for this new chapter in our lives! Happy Weekend!

Under Construction

2010-06-15T22:27:00.004-05:00

So, as you can see, I had the urge to redesign my blog again. I'm learning when it comes to blog world that background are easy. However, I have the toughest time with banners. I found a banner that I love ( Tickled Pink (Text) ), but when I click on it to download it won't do anything. Does anyone have any tips for how to get this banner into my blog? For now, please excuse the mix-matched look.

The End of an Era

2010-06-04T19:25:00.004-05:00

It's finally here. My time to begin letting my to-do list and schedule actually follow the same path as my heart's priorities. School finished today at the end of a very long, emotionally draining week that I may choose to talk about at another time. But, it's over. I moved out my personal things. I turned in my keys. And, I left. For 24 years my life has operated on a school calendar. That will happen again, of course, once we have children in school; but for now I get to revel in what I would do if my life didn't revolve around an August to May schedule. Since I was 5 years old I have dreamed about being a teacher, and for 5 years I have been one. There were parts I thoroughly loved about it. There were parts I could have done without. A brief parent note today summed up the part I enjoyed when it said, "It is because of you that [my son] reads." That touched my heart in a place that is only touched when I'm a teacher.

But, I've reached a point in my life right now where getting up and going to work all day everyday isn't my top priority. When I started teaching, I wasn't married. I needed the job to live on, and I needed the job to provide some substance to my life. Now, I'm married, and I'm dying to make being a wife my top job! I want to be able to serve my husband by having more energy and focus at home. I am going to be able to work from home on my jewelry business touching the lives of other women while my number one focus (after my spiritual walk, of course) gets to be towards my husband and our home. I honestly don't know what to do first. I've longed for months to be at this point because there was so much I wanted to do, and now that I'm here I don't know where to start. Granted, I've only been "here" for 4 1/2 hours. I fully expect to spend the next several days and weeks learning what the rhythm of being a full-time wife while working from home feels like. I'm beside myself excited, but I'm also quietly contemplating how fabulous this feels inside.

So, for now, the teacher part of me is taking a break. Someday, Lord willing, I will open my home and heart to other children that need help learning to read--beginning my own therapy business. There is still a part inside of me that gets such joy from unlocking the door in the child that opens them up to the world of reading; and I want to one day be back doing that again. In the meantime, I am closing the back cover on this chapter of my life, curling up with a brand new book, and longing deeply to see what's inside.

Memory Verse 9

2010-05-03T18:02:00.002-05:00

I have been debating today whether or not this passage should be part of this memory verse journey. The reason? Because I memorized it in high school. Since I grew up receiving my education at a Christian school, I was challenged weekly to memorize Scripture as part of my academic work. I can't say that many of these verses have stayed strongly memorized in my mind, but this one has. Because of this, I debated putting it into my 2010 memory verses cause it isn't new to me. But, I remembered that one of the reasons I wanted to venture out on this journey was to not only memorize but also meditate.

I have grown very weary recently of the overwhelming scream from our culture that says it's okay to be selfish and entitled. And, I hate it when that attitude comes out in me. While driving home today this verse came to mind, and I decided it was time to dedicate some mental/emotional/spiritual energy to meditating on this passage for a little while.

So, Philippians 2:4-8 is my passage for the first two weeks of May.

"Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Jesus Christ: who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death-even death on a cross!"

Memory Verse 8

2010-04-14T19:49:00.002-05:00

Hi all! I don't have much to comment on with my next choice in Scripture memory. It's just a verse I came across that I think is important for me to have written on my heart. I find that I personally find too many things to be fearful of on a regular basis, and I want to have this verse at ready recall in those moments!

Psalm 112:7-8 (NLT)
"They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them. They are confident and fearless and can face their foes triumphantly."

A New Season for The Belts

2010-04-04T07:42:00.003-05:00

Today, on this cherished holiday, I get to let everyone know how the good Lord is living in our lives!!! We are embarking on a new journey together, and I'm thrilled to finally be able to share this with you.

For a couple years now, Taylor has been feeling the pull to leave band directing. He loves teaching; he loves music; and he's loved his students. But, the demanding schedule has caught up with him and neither of us are satisfied that a band director's schedule will fit into the way we would like our lives and family to look. Last June, we were blessed to join the Park Row congregation in Arlington here in the metroplex; and Taylor has been serving in a part-time role as the worship minister. Our time with Park Row has been incredibly fulfilling and has allowed Taylor to see more clearly the new passions and direction God is giving him! The elders at Park Row have invited us to stay on with Taylor serving as one of the full-time ministers, and we have accepted their invitation!!! Beginning June 1st, Taylor will be serving full time at the church; and we could not be more excited! He will continue his work with the worship ministry still fulfilling his passion for music. In addition to worship Taylor also has a little-known passion for college-aged young adults. Park Row is situated right next to The University of Texas at Arlington and there is a huge need for a college ministry in this area. This summer, Taylor is going to embark on the journey of building a college ministry from the ground up. At this point, this is one of the most exciting things for us on this new journey! We are getting to be totally open to the Lord's leading and getting an opportunity to get out into the community around the church in ways that have not yet been pursued. It's a very exciting time for both us and the congregation.

So, what does this mean for me? Well, this new season just would not be complete without me making a big change as well. After much praying and talking, Taylor and I have decided to allow this change in his career to also be the time for me to go ahead and transition to staying at home. We knew that would happen when we had kids anyway, and have just decided to go ahead and make this change a little earlier. There are really two reasons for this decision. First of all, as you know, last summer I joined the Premier Designs Jewelry team as an independent consultant. This business has filled areas of passion in my life that I did not know existed. I have loved the ease with which this "job" has allowed to me to get out into the community and minister to women outside of my congregation! I also did not realize how thoroughly satisfying having a home-based business would be to me. I love how I can help our family out financially while being at home and also fulfilling my role as wife at the same time. I am in the process of transitioning this business from part time to full time beginning in June. This will, Lord willing, be able to seamlessly transition into motherhood as well. Secondly, I wanted to have as much flexibility and time as possible to help Taylor out with his new endeavors at the church. I'm fully involved in his worship ministry, and we are still exploring all the ways I can be involved in a college ministry. It is SO exciting to us to work side by side on this journey, and by working from home I will be much more flexible to join him (and HIM) in this work.

Am I done with teaching forever? I hope not. I will be finishing up my training as a dyslexia therapist at the end of this school year. Sometime in the next year I will be taking my Academic Language Therapist exam, and intend to keep up my teacher's license and my C.A.L.T. even while working from home. My goal is to eventually begin private therapy for dyslexia children. Taylor and I are unsure as to the timeline on that journey, but it is something both of us want for me at some point in the future.

For now, this is where God is leading us. Taylor into a full-time supported ministry position, and me to stay home, minister to women through Premier Designs, and serve alongside my husband. In several ways, this is a huge "Abraham and Sarah," leap of faith decision; but it is one we are fully at peace about and so excited we can't stand it!! We will be moving from Lewisville to Arlington this summer to be closer and more involved with the congregation, so that will be a huge thing as well. :)

So many changes...so much God! We love you all! Thank you so much for praying us through this journey!

Memory Verse 7

2010-04-02T08:37:00.003-05:00

I feel a little behind with this verse since it's already April 2nd. :) I've let my busy life distract me this week from my time in Bible study, so of course, it was harder to find a verse for the next two weeks. Part of this verse was mentioned in a book I am reading, so I looked it up in context. A large chunk really resonated with me for several reasons. I have had a very tough week at work this week (school not the jewelry business), and this verse really gave me strength and hope that I can get through the next 46 days! This verse is very fitting to meditate on in light of the Easter season and what this amazing weekend means to us as Christians. I hope that by spending the next two weeks meditating on this Scripture and writing it on my heart I will be more prepared to embrace the victory given to me in Christ Jesus!!! It's a long one, so here I go!

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you." 2 Cor 4:7-12 NIV

Quirkiness

2010-03-24T13:20:00.002-05:00

I got this fun idea from the Living Proof Ministries blog. I thought it would be fun, and I'm in the mood for silly and fun.

Post a comment listing 10 things about yourself that I may or may not know. Not too deep, philosophical, or serious. Just facts about yourself-however quirky that you'd like. Then, come back later and visit reading the others. It's fun to see how quirky others our--it makes me feel normal. Ha!

I'll start off:

1. I have had 18 teeth pulled by a dentist in my lifetime.
2. I lived in 4 different states, 6 different cities (2 of them twice), and 13 different houses before the age of 12.
3. I love to read.
4. When I finish a book in bed at night I have to at least read one page of another book before I fall asleep-even if I'm exhausted. I have to know that I am in the middle of a book at all times.
5. I hate to fly-have to take Xanax. Not really scared we will crash-just feel trapped...I think it's claustrophia.
6. I almost cannot go to sleep without taking a bath first. I have to be beyond exhausted to do it.
7. I have a home business where I constantly get to give away hundreds of dollars in free jewelry and make other women's dreams come true of starting a home business. All with a company that is Biblically based! It's amazing. If you want more info about this...let me know in your comment.
8. I want to match my purse to my outfit, but I don't.
9. I'm a cover hog.
10. My prissy, girly dog is named Rori after Rory on the WB show Gilmore Girls.

I'm It!

2010-03-22T16:35:00.004-05:00

So, I was reading my friend Leah's blog this afternoon and came across this fun little blog game. So, I'm going for it as well. Here's what you do:

1. Open your first photo folder on your computer
2. Scroll to the 10th picture
3. Post that picture and the story behind it

When Taylor and I had been dating for less than two months we went to visit my parents in Albuquerque. They had just recently moved there and I had not been to see them yet. The purpose of the trip was two-fold: to introduce Taylor to my parents and for Taylor to ask my dad's permission to marry me. All in one fell swoop!

Anyway, Taylor and I loved their new house (which they were renting) and we took pictures all around. This picture is obviously of the kitchen. They have since bought a house and moved to the complete other side of Albuquerque.

It's not the most fascinating picture, but I sure love the story behind the weekend we took this picture!

Who else wants to play???? Your it!!!!

Memory Verse 6

2010-03-15T08:38:00.004-05:00

I am sitting here with my morning cup of tea enjoying my first morning of Spring Break. I have a short to-do list for the week including some intense spring cleaning as well as getting ahead with some home business objectives. But, that aside, this week will include lots of rest and lots of time spent with my hubby! When I am able to sleep in and have a little different routine than normal, I usually fail to be as great at my Bible study time. I'm going to work really hard this week to have that not be the case. In fact, I'd love to be able to use the lack of routine as a way to spend lots of time in Bible study and reflection because I don't have a clock staring me down! We'll see how it goes!!!

I have found two verses for the next two weeks that are very important to me right now. At this point in the school year I'm very overwhelmed. At school there is more to do than time to do it in the next 11 weeks. And because I also have a job from home right now it seems often that there is always work to do somewhere without a minute to rest. This overwhelmed, 2 job feeling is for a season that is quickly approaching an end; but in the meantime I need to cling to the One who will get me through this season peacefully and with purpose! So, here's my verses for the last half of March:

Isaiah 46:4
"I am He. I am He who will sustain you. For I have made you and I will carry you. I will sustain you and I will rescue you."

Isaiah 26:3
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You."

Enjoy my dear friends!

Memory Verse 5

2010-02-28T19:01:00.003-06:00

Wow! We are done with 2 months in 2010. Time sure flies when there is lots going on. I have been working very hard this year to become more self-disciplined! It has been quite a journey-mostly mental. I have to work so hard to take control of my thoughts in order to encourage myself and hold myself accountable to several things including eating healthy, making time for exercise, and especially making time for Bible study and prayer.

The following are positives on this journey:
-Meal planning has become a much more important part of my week-for both Taylor and I. Choosing to stick with our meal plan has been even more important. 8 weeks into 2010 how are we doing? The last 2 weeks things are finally falling into a great pattern!! We eat healthier and save money!
-I am learning to take prayer into more parts of my day.
-I am learning to praise more and to choose to surround myself in praise and uplifting music more often!
-I have had small handful of weeks with 3 days of exercise.

Areas to grow:
-Continue to talk myself out of snacking in unhealthy ways!
-Until school is out-more consistently have weeks of 3 days of exercise (starting in June I hope to increase that to 4-5).
-During my quiet time in the mornings, put more emphasis on Bible reading. I'm doing more journaling, blogging, reading a book with Biblical purpose, and working on memory verses than digging deeper into Scripture. I began to discover I was lacking ideas for new memory verses cause I wasn't spending enough time in Scripture in general.

I have loved this journey I have set myself on. There are moments when I feel like Paul-that what I want to do, I don't do and what I don't want to do I do. :) There are times I end up kicking myself, but then there are times when I give God glory for giving me strength in my weaknesses.

I simply want to become more Christ-like and be a better steward to what He has given me-especially my body. By focusing on my spiritual and physical beings, I am more apt to serve God more fully!

With all of these thoughts in mind, I chose my next memory verse for March 1-15!

"For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."
2 Timothy 1:6-7

May God bless you and yours as we exit February for 2010 and enter into March!

Deep Mourning

2010-02-23T05:59:00.002-06:00

It's early on Tuesday morning. I just finished some much needed quiet time. I should be getting ready for school, but will most likely be running a little late today. My heart is burdened and mourning, and I needed to take a minute to share something with all of you.

We lost a sister-in-Christ yesterday. Jenny Bizaillion went home to be with the Lord around 3:30 yesterday afternoon. There is no more infection in her body. Her liver and kidneys no longer have to work. There are no more brain lesions to be concerned about. And, she is now dancing with Jesus on two healthy legs! Her husband, 9-year-old daughter, parents, brothers, and the rest of the family are currently in a state of total loss and mourning where I'm sure they each wonder how they will do this thing called life without their sweet Jenny. It is a heart-wrenching story that makes me hurt more than I have hurt in awhile. It's not fair and it leaves us with so many questions of "why" or "what if."

The following is a song that Taylor and I have been spending a lot of time listening to. I listened to this song multiple times yesterday thinking of Jenny constantly, but not knowing the news that was coming. This song speaks to the hope and the promises that are awaiting us at the end of this road called life. It doesn't stop the pain, questions, or mourning-nor should it. But, it does feed the deepest part of our souls that knows in the end we will find rest from all of this pain and hardship.

Haven Called Heaven by The Hoppers

"I have journeyed a lifetime in search of a city,
A haven of rest for my tired soul.
By faith I have seen it just o'er the horizon
From all I can tell it sure looks like home.

The winds of temptation will not blow against me.
The rains of defeat won't beat on my face.
I'll not run for shelter; I'll be safe forever.
For nothing can harm me
There in that place.

There's a Haven called Heaven
A place for the weary.
Where those with a burden
Can lay down their load.
I will rest from my labor
In the Arms of my Savior
In that Haven called Heaven
At the end of the road.

I will rest from my labor
In the Arms of my Savior
In that Haven called Heaven
At the end of the road."

I Believe...

2010-02-17T17:02:00.003-06:00

I took a walk this afternoon. I'm working hard to become a more regular exerciser this year. My mood and my health both thank me for it! Today, the sun was out and the temp above 50 so I grabbed at the chance to walk the dog, get some exercise myself while soaking up some much needed Vitamin D!!! Often when I go on a walk by myself, I use that time alone to think and pray and soak up God's creation. Today, for some reason (aka The Holy Spirit), I found myself changing my request-prayers into believe-prayers. For example,

I believe, dear Lord, that You will heal Jenny. (see The Power of Prayer)

I believe that You are working through me in the lives of my students.

I believe that You will use me to show Christ to the ladies I encounter at my home show tomorrow night.

I believe that You will give Taylor and I wisdom as we make financial changes in our lives.

I believe that You will guide and give purpose to our ministry at Park Row.

I believe that you are daily molding me into a more Christ-like wife.

And, so on and so forth my prayer continued through my entire 25 minute walk. It was one of the most spiritually energizing walks I have ever had!!! I returned home to a short list of housework that needs to be done feeling lighter as I do when I give my burdens over to the Lord. But, I also felt like I had not spent my time just asking for things but truly praising the Lord for Who He is and What He can do! Our God is worthy of praise!

The Power of Prayer

2010-02-16T06:30:00.002-06:00

Hello all,

I am going to take a very long story and make it short, so please bear with me if it gets confusing.

My husband grew up in Mesquite, Tx on the east side of Dallas. For years, Rick Ross preached at the Mesquite Church of Christ. My husband grew up with the three Ross children: Jenny (Now Bizaillion), Josh, and Jonathan. Almost 2 weeks ago we received word that Jenny had been admitted to the hospital in critical condition. Jenny had contracted strep while substituting at a school. Strep turned to the flu which turned to pneumonia which somehow turned into sepsis. Jenny quickly fell into severe septic shock. For two weeks things have been extremely up and down with Jenny literally fighting for her life minute by minute the first several days she was in ICU. Currently, Jenny has made huge progress, but is still very much in critical condition. She is on a ventilator and dialysis. The family is praying fervently for all of her organs to begin working again as well as for Jenny to come off of the ventilator. In addition to these complications, Jenny has also developed gangrene in her feet due to the lack of circulation from the sepsis. Her circulation is better, but the infection is still in her body. Yesterday there were serious talks of amputating both of her legs beneath the knees to stop the infection from spreading. For the time being, they have postponed that surgery, and the family is asking for prayers for a miracle.

Why am I sharing all of this? Because I deeply believe in the power of prayer. Months ago, before she was sick, Jenny blogged about her desire for Christians to be unified-to stop the bickering and divisiveness that is so prevalent among Christians these days. Due to her illness over 5000 Christians have joined her CarePages online to follow her story, offer the family encouragement, and most importantly-pray for Jenny's healing! God has been moving mountains minute by minute healing Jenny. Jenny's story has been an amazing testiment to the power of prayer and faith of believers everywhere!!! Below you will find a link to her carepages account where you can sign up for email updates where the family sends out very specific requests and updates multiple times a day. Please join the saints in praying for a fellow sister!!! May God be glorified!!!

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:16

Jenny Bizaillion's CarePages Update

Memory Verse 4

2010-02-13T07:51:00.002-06:00

Hello readers!

It is early on Saturday morning February 13th. Taylor and I are getting ready to leave to go meet with a sweet new couple that has been visiting our church. Before we left though, I had to take a few minutes and find a new verse for the next two weeks! I have two reasons for needing this verse right now and therefore deciding to commit it to memory. First, I am putting a lot of focus right now into expanding my Premier Designs Jewelry business. I really believe God has given me this opportunity in business as a ministry to women. I want to commit this verse to memory as I move forward in my business with God's purpose on my heart! Secondly, I am currently participating in Living Proof Ministry's blog discussion of Beth Moore's new book So Long, Insecurity. Beth referenced this verse in the chapter I was reading last night, and I quickly looked it up for full context. It is absolutely a perfect verse to wield while fighting the spiritual battle against womanly insecurities!

So, for the next two weeks I will be memorizing and meditating on Ephesians 2:10.

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

I am really enjoying this journey towards committing 24 verses to heart by the end of 2010. It has been a blessing in my life already.

How about you? Is anyone joining me in this endeavor? If not, what spiritual disciplines are you pursuing at this point in your spiritual walk?

God bless!

Can I be The Pioneer Woman?

2010-02-12T12:38:00.004-06:00

Last weekend I watched Julie and Julia. I ADORED this movie!!! My husband lovingly watched it with me because he's just that great. He laughed and liked parts of it, but if he didn't see if again he'd be okay with that. I, on the other hand, have found a new movie to add to my list of favorites.

I sat down on this beautiful snow day to make a meal plan for the next week. I try to cook new things on a regular basis to keep my husband and I from getting tired of eating the same things over and over again. We both want to be disciplined about eating at home both to keep eating healthy and to save our budget. But, I believe the only way we can do this successfully is to change up our menus on a regular basis. Last week I discovered The Pioneer Woman website for the first time!!!! So, this week in very much a Julie/Julia-fashion I will be making 4 new recipes from her website. The recipes are listed below, and I will definitely make sure I let everyone know how they turn out!

Steak Bites
Slow Cooker Chicken Stroganoff
Baked Chicken with Raspberry Sauce
Simple, Pan-Fried Pork Chops

Memory Verse 3

2010-01-31T05:45:00.003-06:00

For the next two weeks I am going to memorize two short passages that focus on giving glory to the Lord for faithfulness and success. Many of you know that I have a home business as a jewelry consultant for Premier Designs Jewelry. I am in the process of setting some specific goals for 2010 to build my business into a full-time occupation for me starting this summer. I'm beginning to reach out to other women that could use the hope that the Premier Business Opportunity brings to them and their families. But, not one step of this process has happened without God. As I work hard and strive to build this business, I wanted to implant Scriptures deep into my memory that will help maintain my focus for Who is in control of this business. In that light, I will be meditating on and committing the following to Scriptures to memory between now and February 15th:

"Not to us, O Lord, but to you goes all the glory for your unfailing love and faithfulness." Psalm 115:1

"The wall was finally finished. . . . When our enemies and the surrounding nations heard about it, they . . . realized that this work had been done with the help of our God." Nehemiah 6:15-16

Comments-oops

2010-01-24T16:50:00.004-06:00

Hello friends and readers,

My mom let me know this week that she had been unable to post comments on my blog. Now, I'm sure there are not thousands of you out there just dying to comment and you haven't been able too-but a few of you might have wanted to and found yourself unable to. In addition to comment moderation, I have accidentally checked that you had to be a member of the blog to post comments. That would be the problem. So, I've fixed that. Anyone can leave a comment, but I will still keep comment moderation up and going! So, if you were wanting to join in my Memory Verse commitment feel free to come back and comment now. :) Sorry about the mishap. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Storms of Life

2010-01-21T07:48:00.002-06:00

*Prayer and groaning for the life of a loved one living far from God
*Doubt and resistance towards following the will of God
*Hurt and pain caused by fellow Christians
*Poor countries devastated by earthquakes
*Small east Texas towns turned upside down by tornados

Storms take all kinds of forms in our lives. Some storms are not all consuming. They ebb and flow throughout our days, weeks, or months dropping us to our knees for a moment in time crying out to Almighty God. These types of storms don't necessarily rock your entire world 100% of the time. They exist, yes; but they don't cripple. They are still difficult, but they aren't debilitating.

Other storms drop us to our knees and refuse to let us up for some given period of time. Those in Haiti at this time are experiencing this type of a storm right now. There is no escape from the pain and suffering. Those with a faith in God may find themselves constantly crying out to God because if they stop for even a moment the pain will overwhelm them. A tornado hit a small east Texas town yesterday. While the devastation is nothing compared to Haiti, to the people living there it rocked their world.

As Christians we experience times in our lives with both types of storms. Some all-consuming, some not. I am at a point right now where the storm is minimal. There are moments of hurt and crying out to God; but I am not crippled. I am not devastated. I am at a peak not a valley at this point in my walk. However, others around me are in the pit. Their worlds have been rocked, and they are hurting beyond what they thought possible. I find myself today praying for these people-especially for those in Haiti.

The following song is one of my favorites that has carried me through times of devastating storms. I heard it this morning, and couldn't help but praise God for carrying me through times of pain so intense I thought I'd never see the end. I pray for Haiti, those in east Texas, and anyone else experiencing strong storms in life that this song can bring comfort to you!

Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns

I was sure by now that You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away; stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say, "Amen;" and it's still raining
But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you."
And as Your mercy falls, I raise my hands
And praise the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise You in this storm.
and I will lift my hands,
for You are who You are
No matter where I am.
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side,
and though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm.

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you and raised me up again
But my strength is almost gone
How can I carry on if I can't find You?
And as the thunder rolls, I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you."
And as Your mercy falls, I raise my hands
and praise the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your Hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm.

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth!

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth!!

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
Cause You are who You are, no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your Hand
You never left my side
Though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm.

Though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm.

Memory Verse 2

2010-01-19T05:28:00.002-06:00

I'm a little late on posting the memory verse for this second half of January. I had an incredibly wonderful, busy weekend; and I'm just now having a moment to write. The verse I chose for this part of January is something that I remembering memorizing in college. It popped up on my phone's Verse of the Day app at just the right moment last week; so, I felt it was worth revisiting and spending time meditating on for these next two weeks. There are some amazing things going on in our lives right now. I can't go into details yet on this public forum, but I can say that God is crafting an amazing story for Taylor and me. As plans for our future have been forming, we have been from one end of emotions to the next all the while speaking truth into this situation knowing God was in control! This verse directly touched my heart and emotions last week, and therefore I could not think of anything better to spend two weeks dwelling on than this.

"And we know that in ALL things GOD works for the GOOD of those who love him, who have been CALLED according to His PURPOSE." Romans 8:28

It's so very, very nice to rest in God's working and His purpose.

What is your verse for the last half of January?

Memory Verse 1

2010-01-13T05:53:00.004-06:00

Last July, I began reading Beth Moore's Living Proof Ministries blog. I realized that last January she began a Memory Verse Team with her readers asking them to memorize 2 Scriptures a month. Here is a link to the 2nd Memory Verse post she made for the year. I never did get my act together the last half of 2009 to join up with her and the others readers. But, I committed to doing this on my own for 2010. I wanted to encourage others to do this as well. For the first two weeks of January (which are rapidly approaching an end) I chose a verse that I felt was a great launch point for the rest of my verses. Here is it:

"Since then, you have accepted Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." Colossians 2:6-7

In 2010, I want to:
-"continue to live in Him" by being daily in His word, continually reminding myself of His power, grace, and guidance in my life
-be "rooted and built up in Him"-The Bible refers to the power of the Word of God and by daily being in the Word and committing His words to my heart and mind I hope to deepen my roots and grow taller in Him.
-be "strengthened in the faith as you were taught" - Just like so many of us, my faith has peaks and valleys. Too often I find myself praying, "Lord, help my unbelief." I want my faith strengthened. I need the Word of God flowing through me in order for that strengthening to occur.
-"overflow with thankfulness" - despite peaks and valleys that each new year brings, overflowing with thankfulness is key to helping me faith grow through the times of trials and periods of wilderness. I am committing to finding abundance with which I can overflow in thankfulness.

So, my question is, would anyone like to join me? If so, please just post your verses in my comments section so I can see what verses are important to you right now as well. Feel free to comment on your verses if you'd like or to just post your Scriptures. I'm currently praying through what I should choose for the last half of January. Verse #2 will appear this weekend! Until next time, I will pray this verse over each of you!

"Since then, you have accepted Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness!"

It's a New Year and a New Decade

2010-01-04T19:36:00.003-06:00

Question: do you like resolutions? Do you like starting your year with fresh goals and a "to-do list" of the personal improvement variety?

I've learned something about myself in the last year. I like resolutions and setting goals to improve myself. What I don't like is New Year's resolutions. I like resolutions a few at a time whenever it's time to tackle something new. Even if it's August 5th. I think one of the reasons for this is because a long list of resolutions makes me stressed out. Tackling a few things at a time to incorporate into my daily routine is a much better plan for me! So, having said all that, here's a list of a few things that I am currently resolved to make habits. 2010 is going to be a good year!!!

1) Start the day off with Bible study and quiet time - this is 5:00 am on school days. It's really hard, but it's amazing how much better and more Christ-focused my day is when I do this. I've been doing 5:00 am for awhile now; but am discovering I need to add to this resolution the discipline to do this on the weekends and school holidays when my routine is different.

2) Eat healthy and exercise regularly. Summer of 2009 my nutritionist and I made headway on discovering some sensitivities that I have to food, and I was able to learn how to eat in a way that better managed my IBS and chronic fatigue. During the holidays (really from Thanksgiving until yesterday), I didn't stick with it as well; and I'm ready to get back in the ball game. This resolution isn't about losing weight (although I could stand to lose about 5lbs-we'll see); it's definitely about taking care of myself so that I feel good and have energy throughout my life's activities.

3) Allow a change of activity to bring with it rest. For several years now I have developed a sense that if I'm not doing absolutely nothing then I must not be resting. Of course, there is definitely something to be said for being still and quiet and resting! But, I don't need a resolution for that one-I do that well. :) I am working on accepting the fact that sometimes doing something different than my routine can bring plenty of rest. It's been very freeing, and I'm excited to continue to experiment with this.

That's just a handful of resolutions for me. I spent some time over the break thinking about and visiting with Taylor about a few other things that for the time being are going to stay between my God, my husband, and myself. The Lord is really working on me these days, and I'm excited to see what He has in store for me!

What are you resolving to do/be at this point in your life?

Christmas 2009

2010-01-01T17:31:00.006-06:00

It's January 1st, but instead of a post about resolutions and the New Year; I'm going to post about Christmas. I'll get to the resolutions and New Year stuff in a few days! We spent a week in ABQ, NM visiting mom and dad for Christmas this year! My grandmother came up from Corpus Christi, so all five of us were together. We spend most of the week talking, laughing, watching movies, cooking, and eating. It was fabulous! In the Lowery family it's been a tradition to have Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve. This year we had another couple over to enjoy it with us. Joe and Anne Rose have known my grandparents since their college days. In fact, Joe and my Papa (Lowery) went to high school together. We sat for 3 1/2 hours on Christmas Eve and listened to Joe tell stories about those days and how my grandfather impacted his life. It was an incredible memory. We got most of it on video tape which will be a treasure always! It snowed for us 2 days before Christmas. It was beautiful, and I loved it! It turned out I would have had a little bit whiter Christmas here in Dallas, but snow is snow and 2 days before Christmas is good enough for me to call it a White Christmas! Though technically not our first Christmas as a married couple, Taylor and I thoroughly enjoyed celebrating the entire Christmas season as a married couple. It was so much fun and incredibly romantic, making me all the more glad we decided to get married at Christmas time. It's such a wonderful time to rejoice in the birth of our Lord and the love He allows us to share with each other all at the same time! I'm attaching a handful of pictures from our Christmas. The complete album is on Facebook! Enjoy!

Anniversary Pictures

2009-12-31T14:01:00.005-06:00

Happy New Year's Eve everyone! We are being lazy at our house today. Relaxing and enjoying time together. Tonight, a good friend I grew up with is getting married here in the metroplex; so we will be welcoming in the New Year by celebrating his marriage! I have a few posts up my sleeve over the next few days, but for now here's a few pics from our anniversary weekend at the Gaylord Texan Hotel!

Merry Christmas Time is Here!

2009-12-10T13:38:00.002-06:00

Cold, snow, hot chocolate, spicey candles, evergreen trees, blue, silver, red, green, wrapping paper, warm blankets, sparkly lights, festive music, cozy fires. These things and many, many more bring this holiday season alive for me!

I have been extremely reflective pretty much since Thanksgiving. The Lord is doing some amazing things for Taylor and me these last few weeks. We are watching with wide-eyed, open-eared anticipation as God moves around and among us opening doors for our future that are beyond our wildest imaginations. As of yet, we know not what 2010 will bring for us, but we do believe it will be big and directly in the will of the Lord. We pray daily for His guidance and that we will simply be obedient, mission-minded followers of His word joyfully going wherever He next sends us. It is completely fulfilling to find ourselves this anticipatory while completely at peace knowing He is working around us in ways we cannot see but faithfully trust!

With these thoughts, anticipations, and joyful unknowns treasured deep inside me, I have entered this holiday season full of so much joy, peace, contentment, and celebration! In just 10 days, Taylor and I will be celebrating our 1st anniversary! What an amazing year this has been! We have each learned so much about each other and marriage. I find myself overcome with moments of pure amazement at how my Heavenly Prince Charming overflowed my cup of imagination when it came to my earthly prince charming! I could not ask to be married to a better man. Taylor is such a Godly man! I love watching him as he wrestles with what it means to be a Godly man, husband, and servant of the Lord. He has grown so much in the year and a half that I've known him! I cannot wait to see what the rest of our life holds!

Taylor and I have made wonderful celebration plans. We are spending next Saturday and Sunday at the Gaylord Texan Hotel here in the Dallas area. We thought it would be somewhat reminiscent of our honeymoon since we stayed at the Gaylord Opryland! :) We are very much looking forward to our weekend away just the two of us! Early Monday morning the 21st, we will be leaving to head to Albuquerque to spend Christmas with my parents and grandmother! We will get to spend a week there enjoying the company and relaxation of Christmas vacation! We are praying for a white Christmas near the mountains, but also praying it holds off til we get through the mountain pass on I40 into ABQ! :)

I'm not sure if I will blog again until the New Year. I am planning on losing myself in the celebration and time with family that this season brings so joyfully! I pray that the Lord blesses each of you with joy beyond your imaginations as you celebrate Jesus Christ and His love!

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Decorations

2009-12-04T19:17:00.008-06:00

Our first Christmas was during our brand-new, 5-day-old marriage! It was wonderful and special as we celebrated on our honeymoon. This year, however, FEELS like our first Christmas because we have actually been able to decorate together, shop for gifts to give others together, and enjoy this season not wrapped up in wedding preparation. I have been able to contribute with my own cooking to family and friend gatherings. It has been a wonderfully, blessed start to this holiday season! Here's some pics of our festive home.

Ode to My Last Name

2009-11-05T10:10:00.001-06:00

10 1/2 months of marriage have passed by for me, and I have enjoyed them immensely. I'm actually a little sad to see the first year of our marriage coming to an end. However, I'm thrilled for the many, many more years to come! I was reflecting today on how much I like my "new" last name that now feels as normal as my "old" last name felt. In fact, Lowery sounds/looks weird now if I ever hear or see it paired with Kristi. I was telling Taylor today how much I love the name "Belt." He asked what brought it on. I had just deposited a check made out to me and was admiring it. I love the way it looks and I love the way it sounds. It has a very nice ring to it in my humble opinion. :)

You see, I explained to Taylor that girls are filled with nervous excitement about one day changing their names. For a girl that liked her maiden name (as did I), dreaming about one day getting married and changing names is a great joy and a little scary. I couldn't wait to take on the name I would one day spend the rest of my life with. But, what if I chose someone with a really bad name that I'm stuck with for the rest of my life???? I mean, this could be a very serious situation. :) So, in my (albeit a little silly) reminiscent mood I have to say that I happened to marry the man of my dreams who also has a fantastic last name! Whew! What a relief! :)

Happy Thursday everyone! May you find joy in the small things today!

Thankful

2009-10-29T16:08:00.002-05:00

I posted last week about the overwhelming state I was in (see My Hats). Since then, God has continued to work on my heart and mind. A couple significant things have been said to me; one through a friend, and the other through my current Bible study. First of all, when sharing some of my struggles with my Bible class on Sunday a new, sweet friend shared with me her experience with the same feelings and confusions in her life a couple years ago. She mentioned that she too felt that God had given her each of her "hats," but that she was struggling to keep them all on her head. She prayed and prayed for God to release her from something, but He did not close any doors for a time. He simply asked her to trust Him. Eventually he did close some doors and provide her with gracious relief. That was a balm to my soul to hear. God is not releasing me yet from any of my many "hats," but is asking me to allow HIM to give me balance and perspective in all of them until such a time as HE decides fit to close some doors.

Secondly, in my study of the book of Esther, the idea has been presented that women often feel responsible for the "hows" of life. Man, if that isn't me...I don't know what is! There is freedom in embracing that God is in charge of the how, not me! It's okay to long for things while I wait--that's healthy and biblical! But, going crazy trying to make the how happen NOW is not my job! Whew! So, I will keep praying, keep studying, keep releasing each and every "hat" up to Him every morning until He puts the hows into motion!

For, now...here's some things I'm thankful for that get me through each day:

Thank you, dear Father, for:

1) A successful marching season for my husband and his kids.
2) The end of marching season!!!
3) A husband that now keeps "normal" hours and can (and loves to) help out with more things around the house!
4) Sunny days--it's been feeling a little "Pacific Northwest" around here lately, so I cherish sunny, dry days!
5) Theme days at school when I get to wear jeans or slippers. I love teaching when I'm comfortable!
6) Using me as a dyslexia teacher
7) Using me as a jewelry lady
8) Using me as a minister's wife
9) Using me as a band director's wife
10) Hot tea made in the early morning made by my loving husband
11) Singing with my husband
12) A sweet dog that brings joy to our apartment
13) Laughter!
14) New friendships
15) dreams, visions, and new destinies in the making that only you know about

In the midst of what we sometimes perceive as chaos, what are you thankful for?

I DID IT!!!

2009-10-23T18:19:00.002-05:00

I figured out how to change up my banner a little so that it would fit and not be off center. I just couldn't stand the asymmetrical banner anymore! Now that I have figured it out, I can have even more fun! Enjoy!